LEADER SHARE--STEP 4, PART 2
My name is Shlomo,
I am a compulsive overeater and leader of this workshop.
STEP FOUR: "Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves."
let us have a look at the words.
fearless :means revealing everything we know and remember. Hiding nothing.
A lot of people are hesitant about step four since they feel they are
To them I say that courage is not the absence of fear, but the overcoming of
fear by doing the right actions.
We begin to overcome our fears by asking our H.P., to remove them
and then we do the actions needed even though we are afraid.
Now to the word moral: The Big Book was published in 1939.
When the Big Book was written the word moral in step four had the
meaning of truthful and honest.
Today moral generally means ethical.This is not its meaning in step four.
Here is an example of how another word changed with time.
When the Big Book was written, a " gay" bar was a place were people
could enjoy a drink in a joyous atmosphere.
Today it means a bar for people who have sexual relations with the same gender
The word inventory means a written list. So step four is done in writing.
We have seen in my previous post that our basic instincts that go to
extremes cause our self will to run riot.
This manifests in three major character defects. among many others.
Those major defects are: resentments, fears, and harming others.
Those three defects are basic manifestations of our spiritual disease
and the Big Book deals with them in step four.
It says on page 64 " When the spiritual malady is overcome, we straighten
out mentally (the obsession is removed ),
and physically(since the obsession is removed we don't eat trigger
foods and don't activate physical cravings)."
So let us do step four and have quite a detailed picture of our
spiritual disease and how it manifests in our lives.
I am going to take you by the hand and lead you through step four,
We will do the step according to the Big Book directions.
and then you will realize that doing this step is really simple
although not necessarily easy.
The directions in the Big Book are similar to the written directions
you get on assembling a kit.
There is a general drawing that presents the assembled product.
Then there are step by step directions on how to assemble it.
You read the first direction, then do what it says.
After that, you read the second direction, do what it says, and so on.
In the end you get the assembled kit.
That is what we will do with the step four directions.
In our case the assembled product is the resentment table on page 65.
The step by step directions on how to fill your resentment table are
written on pages 64-65.
We will begin as the Big book does, with resentments .
I give writing and reading assignment which should be done simultaneously.
1. . "In dealing with resentments we set them on paper."
Get a big notebook and a pen
2. We are going to draw an empty a three column table like the example
on page 65.
We will use only one side of each page in the notebook for the table.
leave the other side blank. We will need it for something else.
We will do it in stages, which I call easy to swallow bites.
3. "We listed people, institutions or principles with whom we were angry."
This sentence tells us to fill the first column.
So now we deal only with the first column.
The heading of the column is: "I'm resentful at".
Read the attached Resentment Prompt Sheet
It will help you fill the first column.
I suggest you write three or four names to a page in the first column
with spaces between them, and leave the other side of the page blank.
If you have more names write them in a table on the next page and so on.
This may mean a lot of pages. Well, that is why I suggested a notebook.
Write down every resentment that you can remember.
4. Now we turn to the second column.It is called THE CAUSE.
In it we write why we are resentful .
Look at the table on page 65 and you will see how it should be done.
after you fill all your second columns in your notebook you turn to
the third column
5 The third column is named AFFECTS MY.
The Big Book explains the contents of this column and how to fill it
on pages 64-65.
"In most cases it was found that our self esteem, our pocketbooks, our
ambitions, our personal relationships(including sex) where hurt or threatened
.So we were sore. we were 'burned up'.
On our grudge (resentment) list we set opposite each name our
injuries. Was it our self esteem ,
our security, our ambitions, our personal or sex relations, which had
been interfered with?
We were usually as definite as this example(the third column on page 65")
Read the attachment "seven parts of self" that explains the terms given here
We will fill our third column as it as was done in the example on
page 65 for 'Mrs. Jones, My employer and
My wife, on page 65.
Pay also attention to the word [fear] in the third column and add it
6. After we finish with the third column on all the pages We read our entire
table. All pages of it.
7. Read the attachment 'Step 4 words'. It explains words used in step 4
a.Share with us if you can, two examples of resentments from your table..
For this example all three columnes should be filled.
b. Read pages 64 (last paragrph) to 67
In those pages we begin to see How we should deal with our resentments .
I will discuss and explain it fuly in my next share .
write which sentences speak to you , and if you learned something new
to you from these pages share it with us.
To be continued very soon
Have a nice and fruitful day
Questions and comments are most welcome. Send them to:
Send your answer to the assignments to:
The Twelve Steps