Step Three

Made a decision to turn our will and our lives
over the care of God
as we understood Him.






Leader's Share and Step Questions


RX for Abstinence            Smith & Wilson O.A.
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12 Steps practiced in all of our affairs..(p.59-60)
Trust God & Clean House..(p.98)
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Dr. Bob S.
Bill W.
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STEP THREE: "Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him."

SPIRITUAL PRINCIPLE OF STEP THREE: Faith... (acronyms for Faith: Forwarding, All Issues To Heaven. / For, Always, I, Trust, Him)

Step Three is the backbone, cornerstone, and constant in my Recovery;Abstinence, Serenity & Weight Release! Without this life saving Step, I am 100% sure I would be dead, or the 900 pound woman on her way to a sure death! I can't smash home enough the vital importance of putting into practice the first Three Steps EVERY DAY.. ALL day, in conscious contact with God, saying, "Thy will be done!" (The Big Book reminds us to say, "Thy will be done," MANY times a day, as that simply is the quickest surrender prayer), I know for myself I say a humble prayer of surrendering my will, food & life over to the care of God EVERY morning before my feet even hit the floor, and say, "THY will be done," be it out loud, or under my breath, or in my mind, EVERY time I head for the food..!! "Thy will, not my will be done!" This is THE KEY to having 3 years of consecutive abstinence, freedom from sugar and maintaining a 230 pound weight release for me.

By this time in our stepwork we have admitted we are powerless over food, that our lives have become unmanageable. We came to believe that God can restore us to sanity, and now we are at a place to take spiritual action! To make a decision, a fierce decision, and what truly helps me is to remember that decision is a NO MATTER WHAT!!.. whether my hair is on fire, or my backside fell off, NO MATTER WHAT.. I will not compulsively overeat, NO, I will take the spiritual action of surrendering my will over to the care of God! (as I understand God).

So "decision" is defined as "making up one's own mind." Just the decision alone won't get it done! I have to also take the action to get my abstinence and serenity;daily, moment by moment, until I get an hour, until I get a day, a week, month, then year & blessings on and on! The first three Steps help to bring us into willingness to surrender our will & life over to God's care. Steps Four through Nine are HOW we turn our will & life over to God's care by removing the character defects & all blocking us from taking the spiritual action; the last three Steps are how we KEEP our will & lives turned over to God indefinitely, one day at a time! This Program, never ceases to amaze me, & never disappoints! I can't possibly share the blessings & healing that continue to come from working these Steps, from daily choosing life, not death, shown by my taking the spiritual action & having the willingness to work a full Program of Recovery. It only took me 12 Steps to get me out of hell.

None of us get it anything like perfect & selfishness, rebellion & pride (the 3 fatal roots of addiction), are always trying to gain ground in our lives. The enemies of our souls. I am willing to practice these spiritual principles in all of my affairs, & each time I come back to Step One again, I am gaining a deeper awakening, further growth in other areas of my life, where I had God blocked off, & I really didn't even have an awareness of it. I love growing into a deeper more meaningful relationship with God, growing in intimacy & faith. "Faith without works is dead!" Now not only is my faith is active and alive, I am! If my Program is not working, I know it is because my faith is not working & I need to reconnect with God, believe & take spiritual action to get my spiritual miracle! This is what my daily decision to surrender my will, food, & life over to His care, is showing me, that He always shows Himself faithful, that God can most definitely DO for me, what I could never DO for myself! I couldn't even make it through an abstinent breakfast without this amazing power of surrender! It took me a while to fully be willing to surrender my will over to God, I mean what if He didn't want to give me enough food? My favorite foods? What if I wasn't satisfied? Then it hit me, I am still running the show, thinking I know more than God, How could a 745 pound woman not be willing to get well yet? Well when this obsession of the mind and allergy of the body have a deadly grip on you, it is hard to want to let go of your will. Talk about cunning & baffling! God never said it would be easy, He just said He would be with us! My will was killing me, and there was never enough food, or the right food, or I could not fast enough, and starve away the pain, or stuff the feelings, numb the pain, or heal myself, I had to quit playing God, get off the throne of my own life, I thand God for the willingness to surrender my will, food & life over to His loving care!

SURRENDER: to agree to stop fighting, hiding, resisting, etc., because you know that you will not win or succeed to give the control or use of (something) to someone else. I have also heard it defined as yielding, submitting, turning it over, letting go, & letting God. Just like the AA Big Book says on (p. 60), "The first requirement" (not the first suggestion or if you want to.. requirement!!) is that we be convinced that any life run on self-will can hardly be a success!" There I was already looking to run my own life, even to the gates of death! I lay there in my sick bed waiting to die at 745 pounds, and realized one day, that God wasn't taking me, was I going to eat myself to death? The fear of losing my lung function; not being able to walk and breathe at the same time (about 20 steps only without total collapse). With all the pain from the past, from sexual abuse, incest, rape, abandonment, I was just so discouraged, offended, hurt & pain, sickness, sin..so may soul wounds..well I tried to starve it away for the first 40 years of my life, and now here I am trying to eat it away and starve it away, my eating disorder was eating at me to the point of death! My willpower turned on me, I had no self control, rather self destruction, self will run riot. At 745 pounds I knew as I know today at 500 pounds that somebody bigger than me would have to save my life, or my fear of death was my reality! It still is! However a 230 pound weight release continues to bless me with SO much hope and faith in God, and I am stepping right into my total healing on this physical leg of a healthy body weight! Please walk with me friend, and bless me to walk along side of you as we recover together! I am so enjoying of taking the Steps of getting my soul and body healed!

"Selfishness-selfcenteredness! That we think is the ROOT of our troubles." (p 62 AA Big Book). Here we are at the "SOUL-lution" If you pull the ROOT out of a weed, it cannot grow back! I daily ask God to free me from selfishness, rebellion & pride the 3 fatal roots of addiction. "So our troubles, we think are basically of our own making." Without those 3 defects of character, I realized I would no longer make those wrong decision, and will be able to make the right decision; to fully surrender my will, food & life over to the care of a loving, all powerful God who loves me more than I could ever love myself, how could I not win, or this case, "Lose"... the weight, the burdens that came onto me from all the pain, the wreckage of the past that I tried in my own power to manage! I needed a new more powerful , loving able God who is able!! The how and why of it is that I HAD to quit playing God or I would quit living, breathing! God is now my Pain Management Manager, The Director of my life! It is wonderful to live in the moment, and one day at a time, such freedom and healing of my body, mind, soul and spirit! With God as the center of my life and not food, the Promise of Recovery have come true and continue to come true for me. Being delivered of living in the tombs of isolation, death, fear, misery, resentment and having freedom is just as much if not more of a blessing that releasing the 230 pounds! Radical transformation because Jesus is The radical transformer! (My H/P; please use yours). By this time of working Step Three for the first time, I had such wonderful changes to share, a flow and healing came to me as I truly rededicated my life back to Jesus, and not the food! food was no longer my god. I no longer had to bow to my appetite, my dis ease, Once I connected God and Jesus to my food, and surrendered my will over the food over to the care of my living, loving Jesus my soul instantly started healing, my food, my appetite, my actions, my weight it all started changing! I truly was reborn and literally delivered from the gates of hell on this earth and death!

Probably the most important point to drive home here is pointed out on (p.63 AA Big Book)," immediately we are to launch out on a course of vigorous, thorough ACTION; Housecleaning. Our Third Step decision will have little permanent effect unless AT ONCE followed by a strenuous effort to face and to be rid of the things in ourselves which had been blocking us. Our compulsive overeating, food, sugar, white flour and weight, is but a symptom! So we have to get down to causes and conditions." So we can't stop here, we face these things immediately in Steps Four, Five & Six. (Here is where my prayers for willingness became SO vital; Lord make me willing to be willing to fully surrender my will, food and life over to the care of God. For here we find out that first the willingness comes then the ability!. Then on to the prayer of willingness for the permanent effect of abstinence, serenity & to be at a healthy body weight by moving forward with the next Steps. So I began praying, "Lord, of God, make me willing to be willing to take the strenuous effort & action needed, the searching, fearless moral inventory and all that is ahead of me to have this one day of abstinence & serenity in Jesus Name Amen!" (feel free to write your own prayer to your HP for willingness to be willing!

AA Big Book:
" A life run on self will can hardly be called a success we are always on collision with someone or something. Each one of us is like an actor that wants to run the whole show. Then we think life isn't treating us right. We are under the delusion that we have to control life. A producer of confusion not harmony. (Which makes so much sense since God is not the author of confusion! However the food god most definitely is!). We are self centered & ego-centric. (EGO is: Edging, God, Out!). Our self-centeredness is rooted in delusion, fear, self seeking & pity. We are the extreme example of self will run riot! We must get rid of selfishness or it will kill us! (My 745 pound is perfect example of this truth!). The only way to be rid of selfishness is God's aid! We must have God's help or we will die! God is our Director, our Principal our Father, and we are His children! This concept is the keystone of the new triumphant arch through which we pass to freedom. We stay focused on God & have a life less & less interested in ourselves & more interested in how we can contribute to life. We become conscious of His power, His presence flows into us along with peace & lose fear of today & tomorrow we were reborn.

OA 12 Steps & 12 Traditions: The first three steps are: I can't, God can, think I will let God! Once we have admitted our utter fatal powerlessness, & come to believe there is a solution, & want to live free from this killing dis ease, even though it is not easy, we will earnestly seek guidance from God, & when it comes we will act on it. Our primary purpose is to fully abstain from compulsive over eating, & to do so we need Divine help! We have found that when we give up self will regarding food that we receive all kinds of guidance. Now is the time to go over your alcohol food list and food plan with your trusted Sponsor, or seek help from your physician, dietician, whatever you need to eat & exercise in a God honoring way that will support your goal of abstinence, & working toward a healthy body weight as well. In order to continue in abstinence we will have to have God, active and working in our lives daily. First the willingness comes, then the ability. None of us have it anything like perfect, there are perfect days, times, months and years! We don't panic, we go back to God, Program, Principles, Steps & a daily humble, moment by moment surrender, whatever it takes, we must be willing to go to any lengths! We make this decision by earnestly seeking God's highest loving will for us, giving up fear & indecision, & acknowledge God has the best course, plan & way for us to live. We accept this, then the willingness & ability come, even when it seems difficult & uncomfortable. In learning God's will we may refer to our knowledge, common sense, intuition, & the wisdom of spiritual mentors. Going to OA Meetings usually restores us to sanity when nothing else will. Honesty, common sense, & a sincere willingness to follow our new spiritual path are sufficient to show us the way. We don't struggle, we are surprised that the right answers come. Again we need a Sponsor, or a spiritual guide. What it takes to work Step Three is a real willingness to live God's will one day at a time, we don't let doubt or confusion stop us from acting on it. When we say this prayer, & mean it we have made a life changing decision which will lead us to Recovery. Whether it has to do with food, life or our emotions.Instead of resorting back to willpower we relax & reach out to receive help from God, we say, "God please help me to do Your will. We have what we need anytime we are willing to let go of self-will & humbly ask for God's help.

THIRD STEP PRAYER: "God I offer myself to Thee- to build with me & to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy Will. Take away my difficulties that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy power; Thy love, and Thy way of life. May I do Thy will always."

SUGGESTED READING:
AA Big Book (p.60-64)
OA 12 Steps & 12 Traditions (p.19-27).

NOW YOUR PART:
QUESTIONS FOR STEP THREE:
1. What in your life has taught you not to trust God & surrender your will, food, & life over to His care? Or are you actively doing so?

2. How does fear affect your choices? What are you afraid of?

3. Why do you think you are able to handle your compulsive overeating on your own without help from outside yourself?

4. Where did you get the illusion you can control people, your circumstances, addiction & life? What is stopping you from giving up your will & life so you can have the life God intends for you?

5. How do you define the word surrender & what does resistance look like in your life?

6. On a positive note, what is your take away today regarding Step Three?

Great work & willingness! Please don't leave before you get your miracle!

MUCH love,
God bless n prayers,
Linda F <3






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