Leader's Share and Step Questions
The principle behind this step is – WILLINGNESS
In finishing the 4th and 5th
Steps, with the help of your sponsor you have identified your character
defects, identified how these defects have hurt you and others, and see
that it is in your best interest to be rid of them. With that
accomplished you are ready for Step 6.
Step 6 is a decision step. It is simply becoming willing to have God remove all these defects of character. Simple but not Easy.
In AA’s 12 & 12 it states, “This is the
step that separates the men from the boys” pg. 63. That is
because this Step asks us to be ENTIRELY ready – without any
reservations. When I looked at this step, I thought to myself
– easy, breezy. Then I was asked to write down my character
defects and describe how they were useful to me, I realized I might not
want to let go of them so easily.
||How I thought this
was useful to me
to control others by manipulation, bribery, punishment, withholding.
Failing to be equal partners with others and to consider
their knowledge and opinions
used this defect to get my own way. Driven by fear I wanted
to control people, places and things in order to assure “I
got what I wanted”. I was afraid that if I
didn’t control things I would not get what I wanted.
omission and commission. Telling lies, hiding things, telling
half-truths or pretending something is so that isn’t. Adding
untrue details to stories and situations. Stealing, cheating, taking
things that aren’t ours and that we aren’t entitled
this defect was used so that I would get something I wanted –
whether it was a something material or a reaction. I did this mostly to
get people to like me – making situations sound like I was
always in the “right” and what a wonderful person I
||Relying on others to provide for us what we ought to provide for ourselves
used others to make me feel like I was “good
enough”. I sought their approval above all else. I
made people my HP. There was lots of dishonesty here too.
prior to investigation. Disregarding things and ideas just
because they are new and unknown. Being unwilling to try
things or follow suggestions. Failing to remain teachable.
used this when upon hearing something I would immediately determine if
it was “right or wrong”, and if it didn’t
jive with an already belief of mine I would just dismiss the
idea. I used this so I wouldn’t have to feel I was
“wrong” about something. This defect kept
me free of my fear of being wrong (no good).
So, there it is - a sampling of my defects, and how I used them. Now, I realized why it is said that we might want to hold onto some character defects. I had to face the fact that if I surrendered them I was willing to live my life differently. Have a new way of living! This step had to be done from the heart.
When I looked at my previous work - Steps 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5, I realized this was the natural progression of things. And by the grace of God was now willing to ask to have these defects removed.
Read in the Big Book pg. 76, first paragraph.
Make a list of your character defects and next to each defect write how they had be useful to you. (If you are comfortable, pick one or two of them and share with the loop the defect and how you used it.)
Answer: Are you now ready to let God remove from you all the things you have found objectionable? Every, single one of them? If not ask God for help to get willing.
As always feel free to contact me with questions, comments, etc. at firstname.lastname@example.org
Your work is inspiring. We are now halfway there. The promises are coming, recovery - permanent recovery - is guaranteed if we work these steps (That's from the Big Book :) ) You deserve it, let the Sunshine of the Light shine in and through you.
The Twelve Steps
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