"If we could gain any real advantage in the use of this Step on problems other than alcohol (coe), we shall need to make a brand new venture into open-mindedness. We shall need to raise our eyes toward perfection, and be ready to walk in that direction. It will seldom matter how haltingly we walk. The only question will be "Are we ready?" (Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, pg.68).
My Dear Friends in Recovery,
Step 6 is on-going it is one of the "more will be revealed" parts of recovery. I found that I was ready for the walk toward perfection, knowing it would take a lifetime (or more). Step 6 has been described as peeling the onion and in my experience that is true. I have been taking the steps along you and I have uncovered some nitty-gritty stuff that I have missed. Not on purpose.....but obviously, I wasn't quite there in being ready to see it. And that's okay. I am so grateful to be where I am in my recovery. I am especially grateful for all of you. Thank you for being a part of my recovery.
There are some defects I felt I definitely didn't have......self pity is one of them.......not true. I saw it clearly this time around. Another defect I didn't have was grandiosity; I know I have low self esteem and felt I was humble....heheh. Well as it happens, I went way back to the beginning when I met folks and son-of-a-gun....there is was.....grandiosity and me hiding behind such drivel. There is more, but I won't bore you to death...:)
I spoke with my sponsor and told him that I finally realized that the reason that some resentments and difficulties (especially in relationships) kept reappearing in my life was because I hadn't uncovered the core defect or defects ..... I whitewashed things by saying something like the defect was that I allowed folks to take advantage of me......whitewash.....the thing is that I wanted to be liked - true, but under that was grandiosity. I really saw myself, to begin with, as better than. I trace this all the way back to childhood when I would take the blame for something when it wasn't my fault because I was stronger than the other or others. Along with that is the false martyr.
Anyway, I hope you can see what I mean.
Step 6 is given one paragraph in the Big Book and is followed immediately by Step 7, also one paragraph.
So as we list our defects we pray:
Sixth Step Prayer
Dear God, I am ready for Your help in removing from me the defects of character which I now realize are an obstacle to my recovery. Help me to continue being honest with myself & guide me toward spiritual & mental health. .
When we have finished our list and our Sixth Step Prayer we are ready for Step 7.
"We have seen that character defects based upon shortsighted or unworthy desires are the obstacles that block our path toward these objectives. We now clearly see that we have been making unreasonable demands upon ourselves, each other, and upon God.
Seventh Step Prayer
"My Creator, I am now willing that you should have all of me, good & bad. I pray that you now remove from me every single defect of character which stands in the way of my usefulness to you & my fellows. Grant me strength, as I go out from here to do Your bidding."
1. Be sure to read Steps 6 and 7 in the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions.
2. Have you read Step 6 in the 12 and 12?
3. Have you listed your character defects to the best of your present awareness?
4. Are you ready to have them all removed?
5. Have you read Step 7 in the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions?
6. Have you humbly prayed to have your defects removed?
If you answer yes to the above questions.....Congratulations. You have taken Steps 6 and 7.
If you have any questions, as always, you can contact me via phone (number below) or email. I am
very available to be there for you. If for some reason I do not answer the phone, please leave a message
and I will definitely and without doubt get back to you.
All my love,
The Twelve Steps