Step One

We admitted we were powerless over food,
that our lives had become unmanageable.







Leader's Share and Step Questions


Dear Brothers and Sisters in Recovery,

Here is the first step. I look forward to reading all your responses.

STEP ONE QUESTIONS:


LEADERíS SHARE:

I first joined OA in 1980 to simply lose weight. I was 26 years old and could not walk up a flight of stairs. I left program in 1982 and returned in 1984 for the same reason, to lose weight. This time, I never left the program and been with the program ever since. I have received so many gifts from the program such as self-esteem and feeling good about myself. I want to continue to grow in the program for the remainder of my days.

I started compulsive overeating back when I was 10 years old. My family moved to a new city and my fellow students or the teachers did not accept me because of my hearing aids. I was made fun of, teased, and beaten up all the time. When it became time to play on a team, I was left to sit on the bench because the teacher or other kids did not want me to participate. Also, I was on the receiving end of intense bullying. During the 1960's, bullying was accepted and promoted in the public schools. The teachers would tell me to "shut up" whenever I sought out help from the bullying. During this time, I went to a liquor store on the way to school to buy sweets in order to numb the feelings.

I first lost weight in 1975 and gained it back and joined OA in 1980. I gained and lost several times. Most I ever gained or lost was 100 pounds.

Food has affected my ability to be physically active over the years. Also, blood pressure and diabetes are consequences of overeating. These two diseases do have a devastating effect on the quality of my life. One day at a time, I am in recovery from this. However, I must always be mindful of this.

My weakness related to my inability to express my feelings and lack of self-esteem. This weakness has always pointed in the direction of the refrigerator. Through the program, I learned to address my inability to express my feelings and my self-esteem.

I have experienced craving on all levels throughout my life. The physical craving of course related to food. This type of craving tries to make itself into my brain whenever I am at a get together or party. This craving wants my mind to focus on the bowl of snack food on the table rather than focus on the fellowship with the other people there. This craving has left me totally isolated while in a crowd of people because I focused on the bowl of snack food instead of the other people there. My emotional craving would manifest itself in head-trips when my mind wants to go places that may never exist. Spiritual craving used to fill my mind with resentments towards organized religion resulting from the abuse I received as a child and adolescent.

I have remembered the several times I have fallen off the wagon because I had a specific dessert item that wanted me to crave more and more right after I had my first serving of that dessert item. This has happened to me a few times before I got it into my head that I have to stop fiddling around with the program.

I must continually work the steps over and over, give service to the program and to others, remain abstinent, and follow my doctorís advice at all times in order to stay alive and in good health.

Admitting that I was powerless over food was very hard for me at first. However, as I accepted this truth about myself, I was able to accept the solution to the problem (the 12 steps).

In order to see a solution to my eating problem, I had to first admit that I did have a eating problem. Step one is the admission that I have a problem and it wreaked total havoc on my life. Step two is where we accept that there is a solution. This acceptance of a solution is futile unless I fully grasp in my heart I have a problem.

Love In Recovery,

Dennis







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Step One


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