The principle behind this Step is: FAITH.
Hi again friends on this journey with me and thanks so much for your shares so far. Despite being in the program a really long time I’m still a compulsive overeater but at least today I do have faith that God or the Higher Power of my choosing can restore me to sanity if I ask. For years I’d lived my life in self will so having to surrender my will and my life to a Higher Power was really hard for me at first, but I knew deep down that where perhaps I had managed some areas of my life on self will, I just couldn’t anymore where food was concerned. All those diets and diet clubs I’d used in the past where I could use self will and willpower never helped in the long term, and so I was desperate enough to entertain the possibility that maybe this might work. But it was so scary at first and to tell the truth I think my first months in OA when I was trying to lose weight, I probably did do a lot on self will even whilst working the steps.
The turning point for me was when I kept slipping on my worst trigger food, and one day I woke up and literally begged my Higher Power to help me just for that day not to eat it. And it was really hard in the beginning as my kids would get in the car and if they were eating it, the smell would drive me crazy. But each day I asked to not eat it and many one days at a time I still don’t. And boy was that an absolute miracle for me, because I never believed firstly that I could give it up and secondly that I could do it with my Higher Power’s help.
The other miracle has been the fact that I can now listen to my intuition which as it says in the literature is God’s direct line into our minds and hearts. I am a very rational logical person so in the past I would always have an if-then hypothesis which I’d use when deciding whether or not to do something, so it was my head rather than my heart which governed all my actions. When I was finally able to listen to my intuition the first time even though my intellectual mind said it was crazy, it was exactly the right decision and that made it easier for me to listen to that still small voice in future. In fact listening to it even helped me finally to forgive and make peace with my ex husband, something I thought I’d never I’d be able to do in a million years.
Today I’ve given up trying to reason in my head how and why it works but I know that when I do the footwork and I turn my will and life over to my Higher Power things work and I’m able to stay out of the food one day at a time, something I never thought possible in the past. As it says in the OA 12 &12 “I can’t; God can; I think I’ll let God!” p.19. And in The Big Book “on page 58 it says “Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Those who do not recover are those who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves.” I know when I am able to trust that I will be taken care of, I’m able to turn my will and my life over to my Higher Power and my life works so much better. Thankfully I have also been willing to be honest with myself and do the footwork and I’m so grateful that I have and that I’m on this recovery journey one day at a time.
ASSIGNMENT AND QUESTIONS ON STEP THREE
First read step three in the OA 12 & 12 and “How it works” in the AA BB pages 58-63 if you have them. Now answer the following questions honestly.
1. How have you tried to run your life on willpower?
2. Do you feel after working steps one and two that you really are powerless and need some help with your compulsive overeating (COE)?
3. What is the fear you have about taking this step and turning your will and life over to your Higher Power?
4. In what area(s) of your life do you experience the greatest struggle to let go and turn things over?
5. What are some of your old ideas that you are still holding on to? How does the idea of "letting go absolutely" make you feel?
6. As it says in the Big Book do you still feel you could find an easier softer way?
7. If you cannot make the decision today, can you “act as if” you did? Explain.
8. What would you like your HP to do in your life?
9. How do you know you're getting guidance from your HP?
10. What is your definition of surrender?
And here is the wonderful third step prayer that I try and remember to say every morning so that I remember to turn my will and life over to my Higher Power.
THIRD STEP PRAYER: God, I offer myself to Thee. To build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties. That victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love and Thy Way of Life. May I do Thy will always.
- Page 63, Big Book
Love in recovery,
The Twelve Steps