Step Ten

Continued to take personal inventory
and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.



Part One
Part Two
Observations
Part Three
Part Four




Step Ten - Part One of Four

Hi, All.

I wanted to start by saying that Step Ten is the most misunderstood AND the grandest step of all steps. But that would be inappropriately honoring my character defect of grandiosity - and what I honor...INCREASES. And this is NOT what I want to do in Step Ten or in Life - both of which are synonyms.

Up to now, we have done the research and repair of our spiritual life system. We are not perfect, because we are a part of perfection, not perfection itself, but we're ready to LIVE. Step Ten tells us HOW TO LIVE *EACH* DAY - spelled out clearly on Pages 84 and 85 in the Big Book.

Step Ten does NOT tell us just to say "I'm sorry" to the offended every time we goof up. It tells us precisely how to LIVE EACH DAY. The "Tenth Step" is REALLY on P. 84-85. There is also a new set of promises, (in the NEXT paragraph) equally glorious to the twelve promises just discussed by Billie.

Enough intro - let's start:)

(Middle of p. 84 AABB:) "This thought brings us to *Step Ten*...

The thought it's referring to is at the end of the "regular" 12 promises (P83-84) saying they will ALL come true IF we WORK for them. Step Ten is what we do to have ALL the promises demonstrated in our lives.).

"We vigorously commenced this way of living as we cleaned up the past. We have entered the world of the Spirit. Our next function is to *grow* in understanding and effectiveness. This is not an overnight matter. It should continue for our lifetime. Continue to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear."

So, ALL the stuff we learned HOW to do in ALL the steps from 4-9 is repeated *every day*. When Bill W, the author of the AABB refers to "selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear;" he is referring to ALL the CDs, since these are the ones he mentions in the earlier chapters, for the most part, concerning inventories, admissions, etc. Here are the ABCDEs of HOW TO LIVE LIFE:

A. "When these crop up, we ask God at once to remove them."

The FIRST thing we do when we goof up (act out) is a mini Step 6 & 7. We go to God as we understand God.

B. "We *discuss* them with someone immediately..."

We do a mini step 5 with someone BEFORE:

C. "...[we] make amends quickly IF we have harmed anyone.

Mini-step 8 & 9 - make restitution.

D. "Then we resolutely turn our thoughts to someone we can help.

E. "Love and tolerance of others is our code."


This is the Way to Live (for the rest of your) Life. Period.



QUESTIONS:

A. Notice the words "at once" "immediately" and "quickly." DO you react and DO something about *yourself* "quickly" when you spot one of your old CDs (character defects)?

B. What do you DO when YOU spot a CD? Do you turn to your sponsor, significant other, confidante, etc. for clarity on YOUR behavior? (This takes courage, and should happen before making amends:)

C. Is it possible that the work you did on Steps 4-9, cleaning up your stuff, has enabled you to look at deeper more subtle CDs which are now beginning to surface that you now are ready to get rid of?

Bob A.


STEP TEN PRAYER
 
I pray I may continue:
 
To grow in understanding & effectiveness;
To take daily spot check inventories of myself;
To correct mistakes when I make them;
To take responsibility for my actions;
To be ever aware of my negative & self-defeating attitudes & behaviors;
To keep my willfulness in check;
To always remember I need Your help;
To keep love & tolerance of others as my code; &
To continue in daily prayer how I can best serve You, My Higher Power.
 


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Step Ten - Part Two of Four

SO ... if we LIVE EVERY DAY FROM NOW ON as prescribed in the the first paragraph of Step Ten (AABB page 84), then we experience an EXTENDED set of twelve NEW promises.

1. "WE HAVE ENTERED THE WORLD OF THE SPIRIT": - This one occurs in the middle of the first Step Ten paragraph (AABB p 84).

To enter the world of the spirit, to me, means to know that at the depth of my own being is the solution to EVERY problem I experience. God is no longer OUT THERE, never was. I can now see clearly that I reside within a Power Greater than Me. To know that there is depth to life is to begin to know God as the total Spirit of things and to know that I am a part of THAT PROCESS.

2. "And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone - even [food]." - At the beginning of the last paragraph on p 84.

Quoted often to myself (AFTER I have been through a battle) I realize that there is NO NEED to "do battle" any more with people or things which offend. I handle it ALL spiritually - and I have NEVER seen it fail! I pray for those I resent and follow the basis for living described earlier.

Useta be I would have the fiercest battle in my mind "Should I eat this, or shouldn't I; just this once - only a small bite - blah blah blah." These thoughts don't occur as often and they come with less force and are easily dismissed.

3. "For by this time sanity will have returned."

Remember all the trouble from Step Two (Came to believe...restored to sanity... who ME?...I'm not insane, I just eat a little extra sometimes...")? Well this promise says sanity has returned. I can decide and carry out my own actions AS DECIDED, most of the time. Although control has been a dirty word occasionally, it means in terms of REAL LIFE, I am now in control of what I eat (BECAUSE I'm on a spiritual basis, drawing strength from HP continually.)

4. "We will seldom be interested in [food]."

I remember the FIRST time, after entering Program, that gooey junk food really DIDN'T interest me. It felt SO GOOD to see food as a thing out there, to which I wasn't irresistibly drawn. I was asked if I wanted some, and I responded "no thanks" and really meant it! It was amazing. I called my sponsor and began: "You'll never believe..." She did.

5. If tempted, we recoil from it as from a hot flame.

6. We react sanely and normally, and we will find that this has happened automatically.

==========
QUESTIONS:
==========

A. Tell us about a recent "flash of sanity."
B. Write about ANY of the first six Step Ten promises above.

Bob A.


STEP TEN PRAYER
 
I pray I may continue:
 
To grow in understanding & effectiveness;
To take daily spot check inventories of myself;
To correct mistakes when I make them;
To take responsibility for my actions;
To be ever aware of my negative & self-defeating attitudes & behaviors;
To keep my willfulness in check;
To always remember I need Your help;
To keep love & tolerance of others as my code; &
To continue in daily prayer how I can best serve You, My Higher Power.
 


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Step Ten - Observations

Dear WTS Members,

When we began this Step Study together, I mentioned several things that would be good to have and now that we've almost finished our work here, you have seen first hand how important those "things" were. One of the most important is a copy of your very own "The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Overeaters Anonymous." I am not one to recommend many books ... but this is one I wish I could personally give to each of you. Perhaps, I'm projecting because it had such a profound influence on my own life. Please, while you're thinking about it, order a copy from oa.org. Long after you've finished this Step Study you'll find it invaluable.

Tomorrow we will continue with Bob's Part Four of Step Ten and the following Monday, Part One of Step Eleven. I'm going to give you time after Step 12 to wrap things up. Please get busy and for those of you who already have ... good for you!

It is still not too late to catch up and finish the final Quarter of the WTS Step Study with us. It will be a beautiful gift you give to yourself. If you have any questions, don't hesitate to write to me about them privately. If you don't yet have a sponsor, click this and choose one of the many ways of getting one.

Think about these words: "Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it."

CONTINUED: Taking inventory is nothing new for us. The 4th Step Inventory was a revelation. We have become experts at taking our inventory. Now we simply continue doing that.

PERSONAL: We are learning who we are - what makes us tick. We are not ignoring our fears any long and instead looking at them squarely in the face. We don't take the inventories of others. Life works best when we take our own. Our personal inventories.

INVENTORY: We are dissecting our psyches. Peeling the emotional onion. Taking care of the behaviors that we exhibit as we do. We now realize it's "not what we eat ... but what's eating us." We are amazed that we actually used to think we just loved food. What a revelation we've experienced. An inventory is the way we make this happen.

ADMITTING: This word is usually used to express wrong doing. We don't say "we admitting we gave $100.00 to the Salvation Army." Or "We admitted that we rescued a little bird with a broken wing." We admit that we gossiped about our best friend ... or that we ate our lunch in the grocery store and threw away the bag without paying for it ... or that we lied to our spouse when asked where we had been because we knew where we had been and what we were doing were wrong.

The Tenth Step. Daily. For the rest of our life.

Love in recovery,

Mari

THE OA 12 & 12
"The tenth step begins with the word "continued," our first clue that perseverance is about to become a key aspect of our recovery program.  In the past, we may have clung stubbornly to self-destructive eating and other harmful behaviors. Now we will need to be stubborn about working our program, even during those times when we feel as though it isn't working or we aren't recovering quickly enough.  Stubbornness turned to such good use become perseverance as we continue - day after day - to apply to our lives the same concepts we learned in steps four through nine."  Page 84


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Step Ten - Part Three of Four

Hi, All,

Here is my take on the second half of the Step Ten promises:

7. "We will see that our new attitude toward [food] has been given us without any thought or effort on our part. It just comes! That is the miracle of it."

As we worked the first nine steps and changed the way we live, relate and react to life, our attitude towards food was altered FOR us.

8. "We are not fighting it, neither are we avoiding temptation."

9. "We feel as though we had been placed in a position of neutrality - safe and protected."

Is this the same as what Michael Johnson meant when he talked about "being in the zone?"

10. "We have not even sworn off."

THAT sure never did any good before! I wish I had a nickel for every time I swore off a certain food, or a certain action, or a certain relationship, or even a certain thought.

11. "Instead, the problem has been removed. It does not exist for us."

It's a lot better to have a problem removed than to have to *solve* a problem. Wow, what an idea!

12. "We are neither cocky nor are we afraid. That is our experience. That is how we react so long as we keep in fit spiritual condition."

This has little to do with going to church or reading certain spiritualbooks. It has all to do with living each day, being where we said we were going to be, doing what we said we were going to do, making a mend to our character when necessary, sticking with it, and being gentle with ourselves and others.

It has to do with moving from a former condition of being marginally useful to others into being truly useful to others.

===========
QUESTIONS
===========

F. Please write about any of the above Step Ten promises.
G. What does "in fit spiritual condition" mean to YOU?

Bob A.

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Step Ten - Part Four of Four

Hi, All,

The middle paragraph on Page 85 of the AABB says:

"We are not cured of [compulsive overeating]. What we have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition. Every day is a day when we must carry the vision of God's will into all of our activities. 'How can I best serve thee - Thy will (not mine) be done.' These are thoughts which must go with us constantly. We can exercise our will power along this line all we wish. It is the proper use of the will."

THIS is what Step Ten really is about - not (only) about saying I'm sorry when we mess up. It is being in constant contact with our own Higher Power. It is seeking Her will continuously. *** How can anyone DO that?

The only way I know is to first know that HP is the whole of which I am a part. To know that at the deepest part of my being dwells God and to establish and maintain contact is about going within not looking outside for answers. KNOWING that God is within me (and within you) or better stated that I am (we are all) within God is the key to living peacefully with myself and others. When I dwell on thatI dwell in peace.

My will to live in this manner is the choice I make daily because I want THAT. And to my understanding"that is the proper use of the will."

I can not say any better what the Big Book says in the last paragraph about Step Ten. It is quoted below and I will end with it. The specific manner in which we are to establish and maintain constant contact with HP is what the next step is about.

"Much has already been said about receiving strength inspiration and direction from Him who has all knowledge and power. If we have carefully followed directions we have begun to sense the flow of His Spirit into us. To some extent we have become God-conscious. We have begun to develop this vital sixth sense. But we must go further and that means more action."

God Bless you all.

Love
Bob A.

TENTH STEP PRAYER
"How can I best serve Thee - Thy will (not mine) be done."
(p. 85 BB)


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