STEP TWELVE
Sought through prayer and meditation
to improve our conscious contact with God
as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge
of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
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Essay Permission to use the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous I will not be substituting words in the readings I site, but please feel free to do so. Step Twelve, Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to compulsive overeaters and to practice these principles in all our affairs. For this last essay I want to post the AA long form of the 12th tradition. It is so tightly related to the 12th step, that I do not want to talk about one without at least sharing the other. 12.) And finally, we of Alcoholics Anonymous believe that the principle of Anonymity has an immense spiritual significance. It reminds us that we are to place principles before personalities; that we are actually to practice a genuine humility. This to the end that our great blessings may never spoil us; that we shall forever live in thankful contemplation of Him who presides over us all. The Doctor’s Opinion in the Big Book tells us that until we can experience an entire psychic change there is little hope for us and that once we do, we are fundamentally changed people. That has been my experience and it is the promise of these 12 steps and step 12 is the culmination of all the work we have done. When I was desperate and sought a solution, my sponsor showed me a tag on some scientific equipment that read, "If all else fails, follow the instructions." It was so appropriate for someone like me with a big ego on the one hand and a huge inferiority complex on the other. I could vacillate from feeling on top of the heap to hiding beneath it in a matter of seconds. Both personas were alive and well in me. My ego told me I did not have to read the directions and could figure it out on my own. Or that it was not that difficult and the directions were for all those folks who were less intelligent! I thought that having to read the directions was a bit cultish and overboard; a bit much. I thought the Big Book was dated and had little application to me today. It was only when I was desperate and beaten that I became willing to read the instructions. I began with an open mind because I was so desperate for relief and wanted what I knew the program promised. Even though I had been in program and working hard the promises were not all that true in my life and I thought there was something innately wrong with me that kept me from being able to "get it" like other people. However, somewhere deep down inside I knew that I could do more with the steps. I am not judging myself here. I did the very best I could. I had a lot to overcome. I had a lot to heal from. The point is that the founders of the 12 step program outlined what they did that got them well. They did it after they were already well. They left that for us in the Big Book and the 12 and 12. OA came along afterward and borrowed much of that solution and applied it to compulsive overeating. I do not want to convince you that the program works. My experience has been that if you read the material you will reach the same conclusions I did and I want to endorse your conclusions, not convince you of mine. Anyone can recover if they do what the pioneers did. We have a tried and true solution that works. It is not theory. They wrote what worked and they had already done that had produced results. They left out what did not work. Originally the Big Book was written as a specific instruction manual. If you read the Multi-lith you will see that. I have used excerpts of it in this study. I have used the material as instruction manuals. If you have not had a chance to read the material some of the terms today may not make sense. If for some reason you have not yet been able to share your inventory or to start making amends please try to do so this week. If you are physically not able to do so this week, please make arrangements to do so as soon as possible. Even if you have not had a chance to do this yet, it is part of the directions to start living in steps 10, 11 and 12 today. Please try to listen with an open mind. See if there is a difference between the definitions you have ascribed and to what the pioneers actually meant for certain terms and concepts. I am under the presumption that you want to stop self destructing with compulsive overeating. I presume you are going to follow the instructions left for us by the pioneers. There are no short cuts. If there were, they would be in the instructions. I can only show you what is in the literature. I can only share my experience, strength and hope with you about how this program has worked in my life. You will need to do what it says in these books to get the results the pioneers detail. Please remember once again that this literature is the result of many years of experience of many people. In step one we admitted our powerlessness and came to understand that powerlessness meant absolutely without power. We came to understand what unmanageable meant and admitted our lives were indeed unmanageable. We learned the principle of honesty. In step two we came to believe that it would take a power greater than ourselves, who were powerless, to restore us to sanity. And we came to believe that this could actually happen. We learned hope and open-mindedness In step three we decided to try to turn our will and our lives, our thoughts and our actions, over to this same Higher Power. We put our lives under the care and direction of that Power. We learned that since a decision without action is valueless, we would go on and validate that decision by working the rest of the program, starting with step four. We learned faith and willingness. In step four we took a moral inventory. We saw that the emphasis was on identifying our character defects that caused us to compulsively overeat and how this affected not only ourselves, but others. We learned courage. In step five we admitted to God, to ourselves and another person the exact nature of our defects. We discussed these with another person. For me these defects are Self Centered Fear and Self Critical/judgmental thinking born of unreasonable demands for perfectionism, born of fear that I would not be loved or good enough. This in the face of much evidence to the contrary, but still buried deep inside and running the show! We learned integrity. In step 6 we saw that these character defects were spiritual in nature and that we could not remove them on our unaided strength alone. I had a lifetime of proof! We then became willing to let God remove them. We learned willingness. In step 7 we asked God to remove those character defects that were in the way of our usefulness to Him and others and actually got out of His way. This we did with the humility of knowing who and what we really were followed by a sincere attempt to become what we could be. We saw that self-centeredly asking for the defects to be removed solely for our comfort would not work and was selfish. We learned that asking God to remover our character defects in their entirety would not work....those that stood in the way of our usefulness could be removed. We learned humility. In step 8 we looked at our inventory and saw those we had not only resented, but those we had harmed. We made a list and became willing to make amends. We learned that forgiveness could be a tool in becoming willing to make amends. We learned self discipline. In step 9 we talked about the process of making amends and learned once again that it was designed to get us out of ourselves. We stopped looking at the harms done to us by others and saw how our character defects had done harm to others and we were given the direction to make those amends. We began to understand that the first nine steps were a beginning that would be fulfilled in step 10. We saw that we did not have to do the first nine steps perfectly because they were merely the beginning of a lifetime practice. We learned love. In step 10 we again saw how the process is focused on how our character defects affect others on a daily basis...and on making daily amends where needed. We saw that when, not if, our character defects pop up we ask God to remove them and then resolutely turn our thoughts to someone we can help. We need to get out of ourselves! We learned perseverance. In step 11 we learned about asking and listening as forms of prayer and meditation. On page 86/87 in the BB "ask" and its variations are used 9 times! We began to see that the ultimate goal is not simply living in steps 10, 11 and 12, but to be of maximum usefulness to God and the people about us. We learned spiritual awareness. It was suggested that you read the chapter in the Big Book, Working With Others, the 12th step in the AA 12 and 12 and in the OA 12 and 12. If you look you will see that there are a number of pages and paragraphs devoted to steps 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, and 11. There is an entire chapter detailing exactly how to work with others, two chapters on working with family, one chapter detailing how to work with an employee, and a chapter accenting the need to work with others and the benefits/results of doing so. That gives us a hint as to the relative importance of this step. There are 88 pages discussing the first eleven Steps and five chapters discussing the 12th step. Even in the AA 12 and 12, the chapter devoted to Step 12 is twice the size of the other chapters. The first two paragraphs on p 89 in the BB are presented a little more clearly in the Multi-lith on p.41 "Practical experience shows that nothing will so much insure your own immunity from drinking as intensive work with other alcoholics. It works when other spiritual activities fail. This is our twelfth suggestion: Carry this message to other alcoholics! You can help them when no one else can. You can secure their confidence when others fail. Remember they are fatally ill. The kick you will get is tremendous. To watch people come back to life, to see them help others, to watch loneliness vanish, to see a fellowship grow up about you, to have a host of friends - this is an experience you must not miss. We know you will not want to miss it. Frequent contact with newcomers and with each other is the bright spot of our lives." You will notice it says nothing will so much insure "your own" immunity from drinking as intensive work with other alcoholics it works when other "spiritual activities" fail. Equating ‘working with others" as a "spiritual activity" puts things in a very different light. For instance, in the BB on p 14/15 "For if an alcoholic failed to perfect and enlarge his spiritual life through work and self-sacrifice for others, he could not survive the certain trials and low spots ahead. If he did not work, he would surely drink again, and if he drank, he would surely die." The two ways to perfect and enlarge our spiritual life are; through work and self sacrifice for others. Bill Wilson did not always redefine terms each time he used them. He probably assumed the reader had read the prior definitions on p 14/15. BB p 89 "Perhaps you are not acquainted with any drinkers who want to recover. You can easily find some by asking a few doctors, ministers, priests or hospitals." Step 12 says we tried to "carry" this message. It does not say we sit back and wait for people to come to us. After you have found a prospect it tell us on p 90, "If he does not want to stop drinking, don’t waste time trying to persuade him." However, further down it says, "If he says yes, then his attention should be drawn to you as a person who has recovered." If we find someone who is interested their attention should be drawn to us as a person who has recovered. It continues, "You should be described to him as one of a fellowship who, as part of their own recovery, try to help others and who will be glad to talk to him if he cares to see you." Let’s accent this point. P 185 in the third edition of the BB. Dr Bob and Bill, less than 24 hrs after Dr Bob’s last drink understood that they needed to share the process of recovery with others, in order for it to continue working for them. This story, Anonymous Number Three, tells how the third recovered alcoholic, Bill D, was introduced to the program. First they went to Bill D’s wife and she in turn approached Bill D. "She said, ‘You are going to quit.’ That was worth a lot even though I did not believe it. Then she told me that these two drunks she had been talking to had a plan whereby they thought they could quit drinking, and part of that plan was that they tell it to another drunk. This was going to help them stay sober. All the other people that had talked to me wanted to help me, and my pride prevented me from listening to them, and caused only resentment on my part, but I felt I would be a real stinker if I did not listen to a couple of fellows for a short time, if that would cure them." The people we share with, we sponsor, are doing us a favor. We treat them with the same respect and kindness that we would treat anyone who is doing us a favor. We don’t approach people by saying, "Have I got a program for you! We approach people by asking them if they would do us the favor of allowing us to share about our program with them, because we need to, in order to get well and stay well ourselves. We do our best to speak with them without expectations about outcomes. BB p91. "Call on him while he is still jittery. He may be more receptive when depressed." There is a common misconception that someone can be approached only when sober. The Big Book suggests just the opposite. Most people are not willing to take the required actions if they are already sober, because they already have what they want. Someone who is sober/abstinent probably would not be willing to go through the steps because he is already abstinent. The Big Book suggests that we should not approach someone who has sobriety. We should wait for the end of their next spree. The pioneers knew that people needed to implement the steps in order to get well and stay well. If they had been sober to start with they probably would not have been desperate enough to enter into the drastic course of action of implementing the steps. Some believe that a newcomer is not going to understand, that he needs a clear mind. You may find it interesting to know that the original hard cover version of the Big Book got that name because it was a bout an inch higher and half inch thicker than the current Big Book, even though it contained far less text than the current edition. The paper was thicker; the type size was larger. The pioneers believed that the alcoholics they were approaching could not handle fine print and pages. They did not have to be sober to start implementing the program. The problem is that when people take too long to go through the steps, they tend to rest on their laurels. In the early days of the program they insisted that a newcomer get up to Step 9 within their second or third week in the program. They knew that when people entered the program they would often have a grace period...the pink cloud stage. Sometimes that grace period lasted for months, a year, or even longer for a few. However, it eventually wears off and if we have not implemented the steps in our lives we invariably slide back to where we started. That was the experience of the pioneers. BB p92 "Don’t, at this stage, refer to this book, unless he has seen it and wishes to discuss it. And be careful not to brand him as an alcoholic. Let him draw his own conclusion."......" Continue to speak of alcoholism as an illness, a fatal malady." This helps the prospect reach hopelessness; recognizing that all of their best efforts got them to this point and that nothing they have ever done has brought the desired outcome. Still on p.92/93 "Even though your protege may not have entirely admitted his condition, he has become very curious to know how you got well. Let him ask you that question, if he will. Tell him exactly what happened to you. Stress the spiritual feature freely." Sometimes we hear that we should not stress the spirituality; that it might scare newcomers off. This is a 12 Step Spiritual Program of Recovery. If newcomers are introduced to a different type of program and then suddenly have to recognize that this is indeed a spiritual program, they may have a lot of difficulty making that transition. Most compulsive people do not like change, even if it is for the better. Most people when confronted with the need to change, leave. BB p 93. "If the man be agnostic or atheist, make it emphatic that he does not have to agree with your conception of God. He can choose any conception he likes, provided it makes sense to him. The main thing is that he be willing to believe in a Power greater than himself and that he live by spiritual principles." Notice there is a condition here; God as you understand him has to make sense. p. 93 "To be vital, faith must be accompanied by self sacrifice and unselfish, constructive action." Many people having gone through the steps and attempting to live a spiritual life usually do not have a problem with unselfish constructive action. They see that as a goal. However, a problem sometimes arises with self-sacrifice. What is the difference? If someone is attempting to live a spiritual life by living in step 10, 11 and 12, if they happen to be going someplace and someone calls them and asks for a ride to that same place, they will in all likelihood give them a ride, even if it means going out of their way. That is unselfish constructive action. However, if someone needed to go somewhere and the person called was not intending on going there in the first place, it would be self sacrifice to go anyway. Self sacrifice involves doing more than is easy or convenient. When we separate the two it is easy for our program to become self centered and lose focus. We may work with others for reward rather than as a service. Let’s look at this from the 1939 perspective. Two men are sitting in a kitchen in Brooklyn. Between them is a crock of pineapple juice and gin. The two men are, of course, Ebby Thatcher and Bill Wilson. Ebby is describing the program he has joined to Bill Wilson, a hopeless alcoholic. In AA Comes of Age on p58 Ebby shares the process of recovery with Bill, he says, "I learned that I had to admit I was licked; I learned that I ought to take stock of myself and confess my defects to another person in confidence; I learned that I needed to make restitution for the harm I had done others. I was told that I ought to practice the kind of giving that has no price tag on it, the giving of yourself to somebody. Now’, he added, ‘I know you are going to gag on this, but they taught me that I should try to pray to whatever God I thought there was for the power to carry out these simple precepts. And if I did not believe there was a any God, then I had better try the experiment of praying to whatever God there might be." In today’s program if asked to describe Step 12 many would say, ‘carrying the message’ or ‘working with others.’ The way Ebby presented the program to Bill does not fit either of those definitions. The other steps seem clearly related to our current definitions of the steps....I learned that I had to admit I was licked is the clear predecessor to Step 1. Taking stock of myself and confess my defects to another person in confidence correlates to steps 4 and 5. And I learned that I needed to make restitution for the harm I had done others." Is clearly related to steps 8 and 9. However, "I was told I ought to practice the kind of giving that has no price tag on it, the giving of yourself to somebody," is not a clear predecessor to carrying the message of the current definition of ‘working with others’. Again in AA Comes of Age, Bill asked Ebby to reiterate his neat little formula once more. And in this telling the distinction becomes even clearer. On p. 62 Ebby handed it out once again. He said, " You admit you are licked; you get honest with yourself; you talk it out with somebody else; you make restitution to the people you havae harmed; you try to give of yourself without stint, with no demand for reward; and you pray to whatever God you think there is, even as an experiment. It was as simple and yet as mysterious as that." Here it defines the 12th step as giving of yourself without stint, without demand for reward. When we put this step into its original context we begin to see a difference and why we can live in steps 10, 11 and 12 and not get the results the program promises. If we doing so solely for the self centered purpose of stopping coe then we may not find relief. In "Lois Remembers", the autobiography of Bill Wilson’s wife, she shares her opinion of why Ebby got drunk again and was never considered a founder of AA. On p. 118 Lois wrote, ‘After those first two years in the Oxford Group, why did Ebby get drunk? It was he who gave Gill the philosophy that kept him sober. Why didn’t it keep Ebby sober? He was sincere, I’m sure. Perhaps it was s difference in the degree of wanting sobriety. Bill wanted it with his whole soul. Ebb may have wanted it simply to keep out of trouble. Or maybe he couldn’t want it with his whole soul, because he was too ill. Beyond that crucial visit with Bill, Ebby seemed to do very little about helping others. He never appeared really a member of AA." BB. p 77 "At the moment we are trying to put our lives in order. But this is not an end in itself. Our real purpose is to fit ourselves to be of maximum service to God and the people about us." This whole idea is all over the Big Book. It is shot through with it! Let’s have a look. p. 14 "For if an alcoholic failed to perfect and enlarge his spiritual lige through work and self-scarifice for others, he could not survive the certain trials and low spots ahead.’ p.20 " Our very lives, as ex problem drinkers, depend upon our constant thought of others and how e may help meet their needs." p.67 "When a person offended we said to ourselves, ‘This is a sick man. How can I be helpful to him? God save me from being angry. Thy will be done.’ We avoid retaliation or argument. We wouldn’t treat sick people that way. If we do, we destroy our chance of being helpful." p. 77 we already shared, "At the moment we are trying to put our lives in order." There is nothing wrong with that..at all! There is nothing wrong with focusing on going through the steps to get abstinence. We probably need that self centered motive to start. We need to look beyond that self centered motive and pretty early too. As it says in the next sentence. "But this is not an end in itself. Our real purpose is to fit ourselves to be of maximum service to God and the people about us." When we keep that motive as our ideal and ask God to direct and guide us then we are no longer working a self centered program. It is not a question of how much time and energy and effort we give, but the motive, the goal of that time and energy and effort we are giving. It works. p. 84 "Our next function is to grow in understanding and effectiveness. This is not an overnight matter. It should continue for our lifetime. Continue to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear. When these crop up, we ask God at once to remove them. We discuss them with someone immediately and make amends quickly if we have harmed anyone. Then we resolutely turn our thoughts to someone we can help. Love and tolerance of others is our code." p. 86 "Were we kind and loving toward all? What could we have done better? Were we thinking of ourselves most of the time? Or were we thinking of what we could do for others, of what we could pack into the stream of life? But we must be careful not to drift into worry, remorse or morbid reflection, for that would diminish our usefulness to others." p.87 "We ask especially for freedom from self-will, and are careful to make no request for ourselves only. We may ask for ourselves, however, if others will be helped." p.93 "To be vital, faith must be accompanied by self sacrifice and unselfish, constructive action." p.94 "Suggest how important it is that he place the welfare of other people ahead of his own." p.95 "Never talk down to an alcoholic from any moral or spiritual hilltop; simply lay out the kit of spiritual tools for his inspection." The BB refers to the steps as spiritual tools. If someone were to live in a house constructed of tools, they would wond up getting rained on a lot. Tools are used to build something - a sound structure. The 12 steps are not an end in themselves. They are the spiritual tools designed to bring us to the point where we are of maximum service to God and to the people about us. Okay....BB p 94 "Outline the program of action, explaining how you made a self-appraisal, how you straightened out your past and why you are no endeavoring to be helpful to him." Please note that all of the instructions thus far are for our very first visit with the prospect. On our first visit we are outlining the entire program of action that got us well and what they will need to do to get well too. p.94 "It is important for him to realize that your attempt to pass this on to him plays a vital part in your own recovery. Actually, he may be helping you more than you are helping him. Make it plain that he is under no obligation to you, that you hope only that he will try to help other alcoholics when he escapes his own difficulties." The people we work with have no obligation to us at all, but they do need to try to help others. p. 94 "Suggest how important it is that he place the welfare of other people ahead of his own." One of the best ways I can take care of myself is by putting other people first. I am not talking about giving more than I have to give. I am not talking about over drafting the checking account literally or figuratively. How do those of us who spent so much of our lives giving to others and doing for others put this into action? We might examine the type of giving we did before program. Almost invariably we see that it was self centered giving. We gave to others so that others would like us, so that others would be obligated to us, so that war would not break out. We gave others what we wanted to give to others; not necessarily what the others needed. And so when our giving was neglected or ignored or not appreciated, we felt abused, used. In the program we give with a different motive; we give without thought of reward in prestige or money. We give to fulfill their needs not necessarily wants. How can we tell the difference? We have the 11th step and that helps us with discernment. BB. P 86 "On awakening let us think about the twenty-four hours ahead. We consider our plans for the day. Before we begin, we ask God to direct our thinking, especially asking that it be divorced from self-pity, dishonest or self-seeking motives. Under these conditions we can employ our mental faculties with assurance, for after all God gave us brains to use." BB p.94 "Make it clear that he is not under pressure, that he needn’t see you again if he doesn’t want to. You should not be offended if he wants to call it off, for he has helped you more than you have helped him. If your talk has been sane, quiet and full of human understanding, you have perhaps made a friend." This gives us a perspective of our sponsors and sponsees as "friends". If one of my sponsees does not contact me for a while, I contact them, just as I would any friend I had not heard from in a while. We may not go to the movies and then again we may, regardless, this is a two way relationship between friends. It is not authoritarian or subservient. P. 95 tells us, "Never talk down to an alcoholic from any moral or spiritual hilltop; simply lay out the kit of spiritual tools for his inspection." P. 95 "If he is sincerely interested and wants to see you again, ask him to read this book in the interval. After doing that, he must decide for himself whether he wants to go on." p.96 "We find it a waste of time to keep chasing a man who cannot or will not work with you. If you leave such a person alone, he may soon become convinced that he cannot recover by himself." I try to listen and then bring the discussion back to the 12 step solution. I am not a therapist or counselor and I have no expertise in solving other people’s problems. I simply try to carry this message; the message that anyone can recover by God’s grace through this 12 Step program of recovery. I share the message in these books because that is what works and what helps me. p.97 " Helping others is the foundation stone of your recovery. A kindly act once in a while isn’t enough. You have to act the Good Samaritan every day, if need be. It may mean the loss of many nights’ sleep, great interference with your pleasures, interruptions to your business. It may mean sharing your money and your home, counseling frantic wives and relatives, innumerable trips to police courts, sanitariums, hospitals, jails and asylums. Your telephone may jangle at any time of the day or night. Your wife may sometimes say she is neglected. A drunk may smash the furniture in your home, or burn a mattress. You may have to fight with him if he is violent. Sometimes you will have to call a doctor and administer sedatives under his direction. Another time you may have to send for the police or an ambulance. Occasionally you will have to meet such conditions." The Multi-lith is interesting on this paragraph. P. 44. The first line says. "Self-sacrifice for others is the foundation stone of your recovery." p.97 "Though an alcoholic does not respond, there is no reason why you should neglect his family. You should continue to be friendly to them. The family should be offered your way of life. Should they accept and practice spiritual principles, there is a much better change that the head of the family will recover. And even though he continues to drink, the family will find life more bearable." We offer the family of the newcomer our way of life. AA originally was one fellowship including alcoholics, family members and friends. They all attended meetings. Lois participated as enthusiastically as Bill. It was 16 years before Al-Anon was born. There was no my program and your program. No one was abandoned and left out. In the AA 12 and 12 on p 110, "When a man or a woman has a spiritual awakening, the most important meaning of it is that he has now become able to do, feel, and believe that which he could not do before on his unaided strength and resources alone. He has been granted a gift which amounts to a new state of consciousness and being. He has been set on a path which tells him he is really going somewhere, that life is not a dead end, not something to be endured or mastered. In a very real sense he has been transformed, because he has laid hold of a source of strength which, in one way or another, he had hitherto denied himself. He finds himself in possession of a degree of honesty, tolerance, unselfishness, peace of mind, and love of which he had thought himself quite incapable. What he has received is a free gift, and yet usually, at least in some small part, he has made himself ready to receive it. A.A.'s manner of making ready to receive this gift lies in the practice of the Twelve Steps in our program." My sponsor told me this story, even though she was Jewish. She said that not only did Jesus walk on water, but so did Peter. Peter was a grown man, a fisherman. He knew that if he tried to walk on water he would sink. And yet, when Jesus said, "Come to me." He stepped out of the boat. Why? She believed that he did so because of trust. She believed that Peter had developed trust in his Higher Power that gave him enough faith to step out of the boat onto the water. He attempted the impossible because he saw somebody else doing it and trust that person when he told him he could do it too. We are in the same situation in our program. We can try to eat less. We take the action and let go of the result. God can do for us what we could never do for ourselves as a result of implementing all the 12 steps we do receive this gift. Skipping down the page and onto the next it says, "So, practicing these Steps, we had a spiritual awakening about which finally there was no question. Looking at those who were only beginning and still doubted themselves, the rest of us were able to see the change setting in. From great numbers of such experiences, we could predict that the doubter who still claimed that he hadn't got the "spiritual angle," and who still considered his well-loved A.A. group the higher power, would presently love God and call Him by name. Now, what about the rest of the Twelfth Step? The wonderful energy it releases and the eager action by which it carries our message to the next suffering alcoholic and which finally translates the Twelve Steps into action upon all our affairs is the payoff, the magnificent reality, of Alcoholics Anonymous. Even the newest of newcomers finds undreamed rewards as he tries to help his brother alcoholic, the one who is even blinder than he. This is indeed the kind of giving that actually demands nothing. He does not expect his brother sufferer to pay him, or even to love him. And then he discovers that by the divine paradox of this kind of giving he has found his own reward, whether his brother has yet received anything or not. His own character may still be gravely defective, but he somehow knows that God has enabled him to make a mighty beginning, and he senses that he stands at the edge of new mysteries, joys, and experiences of which he had never even dreamed." If they had simply wanted to say "newcomer" they would have, but they emphasized it. What can the newest of newcomers have to give away? Obviously then, you do not have to have anything to give away in order to start sharing this program! You simply have found a program that works. "We sit in A.A. meetings and listen, not only to receive something ourselves, but to give the reassurance and support which our presence can bring. If our turn comes to speak at a meeting, we again try to carry A.A.'s message. Whether our audience is one or many, it is still Twelfth Step work." AA 12 and 12 p 111 "What about the practice of these principles in all our affairs?" One of the favorite books of those that the pioneers read and that was read at early AA meetings was The Greatest Thing in the World by Henry Drummond. This was a book that Dr Bob used to recommend and which many people have received benefit from. It is a beautiful dissertation on love based on 1st Corinthians 13. I am not endorsing nor opposing the contents, but rather simply sharing for contextual purposes. We may perhaps better understand what the pioneers meant by the term "practice". In the yellow hard cover version on p.35 "What makes a man a good cricketer? Practice. What makes a man a good artist, a good sculptor, a good musician? Practice. What makes a good linguist, a good stenographer? Practice. What makes a man a good man? Practice. Nothing else. There is nothing capricious about religion. We do not get the soul in different ways, under different laws, from those in which we get the body and the mind. If a man does not exercise his arm he develops no biceps muscle; and if a man does not exercise his soul he acquires no muscle in his soul, no strength of character, no vigor of moral fibre, nor beauty of spiritual growth. Love is not a thing of enthusiastic emotion. It is a rich, strong, manly, vigorous expression of the whole round Christian character - the Christlike nature in its fullest development. And the constituents of this great character are only to be built by ceaseless practice. What was Christ doing in the carpenter’s shop? Practicing. Though perfect, we read that he learned obedience, and grew in wisdom and in favor with God. Do not quarrel therefore with your lot in life. Do not complain of its never ceasing cares, its petty environment, the vexations you have to stand, the small and sordid souls you have to live and work with. Above all, do not resent temptation; do not be perplexed because it seems to thicken round you more and more, and ceases neither for effort nor for agony nor prayer. That is your practice." AA 12 and 12. p114 "But also like others, we often discover a greater challenge in the lesser and more continuous problems of life. Our answer is in still more spiritual development." We can keep doing our best to get better at living a recovered life, practicing. Continuing on it says, "Can we love the whole pattern of living as eagerly as we do the small segment of it we discover when we try to help other alcoholics achieve sobriety? Can we bring the same spirit of love and tolerance into our sometimes deranged family lives that we bring to our A.A. group? Can we have the same kind of confidence and faith in these people who have been infected and sometimes crippled by our own illness that we have in our sponsors? Can we actually carry the A.A. spirit into our daily work? Can we meet our newly recognized responsibilities to the world at large? And can we bring new purpose and devotion to the religion of our choice? Can we find a new joy of living in trying to do something about all these things? Furthermore, how shall we come to terms with seeming failure or success? Can we now accept and adjust to either without despair or pride? Can we accept poverty, sickness, loneliness, and bereavement with courage and serenity? Can we steadfastly content ourselves with the humbler, yet sometimes more durable, satisfactions when the brighter, more glittering achievements are denied us? The A.A. answer to these questions about living is "Yes, all of these things are possible." We know this because we see monotony, pain, and even calamity turned to good use by those who keep on trying to practice A.A.'s Twelve Steps. And if these are facts of life for the many alcoholics who have recovered in A.A., they can become the facts of life for many more. Of course all A.A.'s, even the best, fall far short of such achievements as a consistent thing." And I just love this..." It became clear that if we ever were to feel emotionally secure among grown-up people, we would have to put our lives on a give-and-take basis; we would have to develop the sense of being in partnership or brotherhood with all those around us. We saw that we would need to give constantly of ourselves without demands for repayment. When we persistently did this we gradually found that people were attracted to us as never before. And even if they failed us, we could be understanding and not too seriously affected. When we developed still more, we discovered the best possible source of emotional stability to be God Himself. We found that dependence upon His perfect justice, forgiveness, and love was healthy, and that it would work where nothing else would. If we really depended upon God, we couldn't very well play God to our fellows nor would we feel the urge wholly to rely on human protection and care. These were the new attitudes that finally brought many of us an inner strength and peace that could not be deeply shaken by the shortcomings of others or by any calamity not of our own making." There is so much hope in this. One more thing....the Oxford groups had certain tenants they lived by. They were called the Absolutes. They used to ask each other, "Are you maximum?" referring to living the four Absolutes to the hilt. They were Honesty, Unselfishness, Love and Purity. HULP. The 12th step comes to a close in the AA 12 and 12 with these final words, "True ambition is the deep desire to live usefully and walk humbly under the grace of God. These little studies of A.A. Twelve Steps now come to a close. We have been considering so many problems that it may appear that A.A. consists mainly of racking dilemmas and troubleshooting. To a certain extent, that is true. We have been talking about problems because we are problem people who have found a way up and out, and who wish to share our knowledge of that way with all who can use it. For it is only by accepting and solving our problems that we can begin to get right with ourselves and with the world about us, and with Him who presides over us all. Understanding is the key to right principles and attitudes, and right action is the key to good living; therefore the joy of good living is the theme of A.A. Twelfth Step. With each passing day of our lives, may every one of us sense more deeply the inner meaning of A.A. simple prayer: God grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, Courage to change the things we can, And wisdom to know the difference." The promise of the 12th step in the OA 12 and 12 on p 100 says, "We’re no longer afraid of food, either, because we are no longer controlled by it. The glorious fact for most of us is that God has lifted the food obsession from us. Freed of the obsession and restored to sanity, today we choose not to eat self-destructively. We have new ways of coping with our problems now and new practices which make living a positive, joyful experience most of the time. If we should again crave more food than we need, we know we will find relief in the steps instead of compulsive eating." p. 101 OA 12 and 12 "Service in OA has been a surprisingly powerful factor in our recovery. Simple actions which seemed unimportant when we took them have turned out to have profound effects on us and on others." My journey with the 12 steps started when I was 19 years old and I am 52 today. I have had a very difficult life with many traumas and tragedies outside my control. This will be true for some of you also. As I continued to get well in the program the substances and behaviors I used to separate myself from me and God have dropped away. The more well I have become the less afraid I am to live life on life’s terms. I do not need to create diversions in order to avoid the present. I no longer need to blot out the consciousness of my intolerable situation or condition in any way shape or form. I am living free from all addictions and substances. This is a miracle that brings me to my knees in gratitude. I went to visit Dr Bob’s house in Akron Ohio in 2001 and learned that the Big Book was the number two selling book in the world, second only to the Bible. I believe this program is divinely inspired and I am truly humbled and awed to be a messenger and can only hope that this study will bring you closer to the solution they left for us. Thank you so much. Love, Lanaya QUESTIONS: Have you had a psychic change, spiritual awakening as a result of these steps? How can you tell? What kinds of service do/can you offer? What are the principles? What is "this message’? What are the prerequisites for giving service and carrying the message? |
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