STEP ELEVEN

Sought through prayer and meditation
to improve our conscious contact with God
as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge
of His will for us and the power to carry that out.







Essay

But weren't some of us taught this as children and haven't we prayed to anything we could to have our obsession/compulsion with food removed. Haven't we hoped we could be thin and eat all we want/not need?

First a few definitions as I understand them. Remember this is my practice and yours may be different.

Prayer- speaking with God who I know is infinite and immediate, always with me but always other. Who loves me unconditionally! Always will, always has! Some formal prayers I was good at. Heart prayers were confusing so I started writing and I am so glad I did. Slowly through my daily writing some in letter form some just thoughts, slowly and gently a relationship was formed and I could express my heart and receive what I needed slowly. Just a touch would be: safe and growing in Him, always pick me up brush me off and help me to continue, the gates to His Presence are always open. In the beginning all I could write was a gratitude list and that I was grateful I scrubbed my teeth twice a day. I had to start somewhere. Then after I write I consulted some spiritual reference wrote some more. My goal is to repeat this in the evening but I haven't gotten there. Some of my friends in OA read and write on OA Literature every day. Every once is a while all I can write is nonsense or just His name until the pain goes away.

Meditation: Listening to God. (Then acting on it if it agrees with reason and program and if it is odd checking with sponsor or spiritual mentor first). See also the above. Another definition is thinking in the Presence of God or Being still in the Presence of God.

There is an old Spiritual saying that we have ears to hear, eyes to see and hearts to understand. As well we have hands and mouths to serve. This grows as we go. This has become very dear to me because our program has said and pointed to truths about my eating disorder and disorderly life. Think about that phrase with your God. Ears to hear Him, Eyes to see Him in eternity and hear and now. A heart (the center of our being ) to understand. Isn't that what our twelve step program gives us? Once we see and hear and start to understand then our hands and mouths can be right ordered to feed us healthily and others, and say and be the things that will help others. One way is sponsoring the needy love hungered people that come to the program. We work the steps selfishly to help ourselves and we are given the joy if we choose it of also helping others. Not being perfect but always growing and always staying near to our God. O how I wish I was better at this, but I know it is possible.

So there it is if we have seen and if we have listened then we can pray for the power (some would call it grace - free unmerited strength) to carry out what we have learned. Surely no one does this perfectly that is why we are still safe and growing in the fellowship, our faith, our recovery.

There are many other ways. I would suggest if you are looking at the spiritual side of your recovery that the chapter in the 2ND Edition of OVERSEATERS ANNONYMOUS p. 242 The Spiritual Side of the Program is very good. Also I like the Step 12 in OVEREATERS ANNONYMOUS 12/12 as a great summary. The AA BIG BOOK deals with this matter too. For me the Spiritual Side is the foundation of the emotional and physical side of the Triangle and all three are essential especially for staying in recovery ODAT for many years.


Questions:

What practices of prayer and meditation are you starting to use?

Is it hard to be still?

Are you committed to being a learner rather than storing food and resentments, storing the fruits of the program?

What fruit has this step given you?

Are there any questions above that make you think?





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