Admitted to God, to ourselves
and to another human being
the exact nature of our wrongs.


First, again I am sorry for the physical malfunction of my phone and the 7 day wait for repair. This gave me no internet because I use a dial up modem. Oh how I dream for broadband! Verizon is not being very helpful out here in the country.

I trust you have been looking at and at least starting step 4 with your sponsor. Nevertheless we must go on to step 5. Some of us have told real experiences of how we found the person we gave our 5th step to. Remarkable experiences which you will find in some of our literature. If you are going to give it away to your sponsor please make sure they have done a step 5. I didn’t check and it worked anyway. Lets work this step in the order it is written. First admitted it to God. He already knows and loves you anyway but you need to tell Him you know. Now is the time to look at what you have written or if you are blind listen to your tape.

Once you have read them, good and bad and owned them not blamed others for them, it is important to find one or two people who understand the steps to share any defects of character you have found. Your list may not be perfect but is the best you can do now. You might share some of your strengths too. When you discover problems later you can take care of then in step 10. But we are not there yet. For now it is an honest list as of this moment.

When you ask someone to take your step 5 you are honoring them. Do not be offended if you have to ask several people. If you have a spiritual mentor you might take your list to them, a mental health person, or a special friend who understands the Steps. Pray about it, please. The importance is honesty. Have your sponsor find a comfortable private place where you can be alone and share. She will probably tell you how she had similar problems as you and share some with you. Sometimes a big pot of coffee or tea helps. Mostly both of you should consider saying the serenity prayer together and get to it. If your list is to long for one time period then set another day.

What about the problem that you are convinced there are things on that list that you will never tell anybody? Talk to your sponsor, make some phone calls, read more literature, write about your feelings. Some of us have divided our list into three columns: never, maybe, sure I tell someone this can do this. Those of us who have chosen this method started with the “sure I can say” that out loud find the relief is so great they go on to tell the maybe and then or later the never list. Our friend will not be shocked. Your list will be like so many before; we have a lot in common.

My personal experience was that I was shaking when I got to her home. When we started it flowed and the relief was tremendous.

Sometimes something else comes to mind or you have some questions. Usually you see some common root of the events like fear.

It is then suggested you go home or a quite place and talk to your HP and listen. Talk is prayer and listening is meditation or just thinking in the presence of God.

Keep it simple.

Good luck.


Is the list really you? Does your God know it anyway and still love you?

What does your list tell you while you are looking it over with God?

Are the defects scars from life that your God will make a firm foundation for growth?

If you have done your 5th step what was the result? Please share.

Step Four

Step Six

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