12 Step Workshop Introduction

Hi, my name is Isabella. Like you, I’m a compulsive overeater. I’m also a food addict.

Here’s a bit of my story.

You just read "Our invitation to you". Let me just talk about that a little.

"At the very first meeting we attended we learned - " well, I wouldn’t say that I did learn right away that I was in the clutches of a dangerous illness. Actually, it took me a few months to even say that I was a compulsive overeater ­ I didn’t really want to acknowledge that.

What I did get right away, though, was that this was going to be the place where my nasty, seemingly unsolvable problems with food and weight were finally going to be taken seriously. Where people understood what this was all about.

One person talked about how she would walk down the hallway, hands playing with the change in her pocket, telling herself that THIS day was going to be different for sure ­ telling herself all the way to the vending machine, and even while the coins fell down the slot and while she was unwrapping the item she was getting. This woman told my story! Amazing!

Hopefully, you, too, will find your story here in the next few weeks. You might find it told by others, and more importantly, you might find it told by yourself.

And as these stories are told and heard, you will find that "there is a proven, workable method by which we can arrest our illness - we use the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions."

I wish I could tell you what it was that made me believe this. I am quite an analytical person and don’t generally believe something just because someone says it. But something - oh wait, I know what it was. It was my Higher Power whispering in my ear, so quiet I couldn’t hear it with my ears, only with my heart.

At any rate, I was convinced that this OA stuff was going to work. The tools, the traditions, the steps, the whole shebang. And it must have been my Higher Power because otherwise, why would I believe that 28 years of problems with weight and eating were finally going to be dealt with? I had dieted, I had starved, I had put dozens of pounds on and off over the years, I had changed my lifestyle, I had dealt with many of the emotional issues around eating ­ but when it came to the stuff that I put in my mouth, nothing seemed to work for more than a few months.

My Higher Power’s whisperings were certainly helped by the voices of the people that I saw in the rooms ­ both by what they said and what they didn’t say. What they said was that they, too, had done really strange things around food (turned out I wasn’t the only one who had mucked up her teeth with chewing on ice cubes), that they, too, weren’t perfect (you mean there are OTHER people who keep forgetting to pray?).

They didn’t have any problems talking about how frustrated they sometimes were with the OA program ­ phew, that was a relief for me. If there’s one thing I can’t handle is having to tow the party line. There was a lot of humour, too, and many people who weren’t very bent on taking themselves seriously.

And they didn’t say that there was a particular God I had to believe in in order to make this 12 step stuff work. I really needed to hear that, even though for the first few months I didn’t quite believe it.

But that’s what kept me coming back for the first few months.

"If you will honestly face the truth about yourself and the illness; if you will keep coming back to meetings to talk and listen to other recovering compulsive overeaters; if you will read our literature and that of Alcoholics Anonymous with an open mind; and most important, if you are willing to rely on a Power greater than yourself for direction in your life, and to take the twelve steps to the best of your ability, we believe you can indeed join the ranks of those who recover."

The momentousness of this promise only struck me much later. The only thing I really heard right away was "keep coming back", "read the literature" and "you can indeed join the ranks of those who recover."

So I kept going to meetings and read literature voraciously. Oh, and I also made up and folllowed a food plan (which again was much more Higher Power inspired than I first realized). I lost about 55 pounds within a year. It felt like much more, both physically and emotionally.

Physically, I felt lighter, a knee problem got much better, my hemmorhoids disappeared, and of course I liked how I looked. Emotionally, the fear that I was helplessly going to stand there and watch myself get heavier and heavier, disappeared.

So what did the steps do for me, specifically? Here are some things that happened: - my problems with anxiety seemed to drop with the weight. I was one of those people who would torture herself by, say, sitting on the bus, happily reading away when suddenly I would startle and think, "Oh God, did I turn off the stove?" - my fear of the dark diminished dramatically - I found a Higher Power that works for me (or maybe I should say, a Higher Power who works with me) - when I have a persistent problem, I KNOW now deep in my gut that there are ways of dealing with it - I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that when I turn to my Higher Power, I will ALWAYS get the answer that I need - I am becoming more and more comfortable with being imperfect - I know that sometimes I need to experience pain but that I do NOT need to suffer - I am beginning to understand the true and delicious meaning of this:

"But I'm too weak. I'll never make it!" Don't worry, we have all thought and said the same thing. The amazing secret to the success of this program is just that: WEAKNESS. It is weakness, not strength that binds us to each other and to a higher Power and somehow gives us the ability to do what we cannot do alone. If you decide you are one of us, we welcome you with open arms. Whatever your circumstances, we offer you the gift of acceptance. YOU ARE NOT ALONE ANY MORE. Welcome to Overeaters Anonymous. WELCOME HOME!"

To all of you at WTS, Welcome Home.

Let’s walk the 12 steps together.

Isabella