Working The Steps - Step Five

STEP FIVE

Admitted to God, to ourselves
and to another human being
the exact nature of our wrongs.

Essay

Three people are involved in this step. Despite the wording, I am the first person I have to admit my wrongs to. If I can't accept myself as I am, I can't admit anything to anyone else. God may know, but this step asks me to have a specific conversation about it with the GOMU. It isn't enough to just say, God knows. We need to admit it to God. Probably, most of us have asked God to help us make the inventory, so presenting God with the results isn't so bad.

The real catch for most of us the other human being. I have noted that most of you have someone in mind. This is good. A sponsor was mentioned most often, but counselors and religious officials were also mentioned. Sometimes partner or spouse was mentioned. It really doesn't matter, as long as we take the action with someone we trust to hear us out without going into shock.

The purpose of this step is to make the inventory objective to us. There is not a one of us who isn't capable of being a weasel when it comes to working on the defects. If we weren't good weasels, we wouldn't be addicts! So we need this step to keep us honest, honest with ourselves, our God, and at least one other person. The step's mention of another human being isn't limiting. If we think our list is really interesting, it would be perfectly all right to publish it in the papers. Most of us wouldn't want to do that -- doing it with one other human being is enough!

We need to keep this list, of course, as we will be using it subsequently in following steps. Our real purpose is two fold. One is to get rid of the defects that we have turned up. The other is to clear the decks with people we may have hurt in our addictive behaviors. But that is in the future.

Right now, we need to be sharing.

Love,
John

Questions

1. Have you completed your inventory? If not, what is keeping you from doing so?

2. Have you asked someone to hear your inventory, and got a positive response, so you can go ahead expeditiously?

3. Answer (A.) or (B.)

A. If this is your first inventory, have you had some illumination into the situation your addiction has caused? Are you surprised that you found yourself responsible for so many things you had wanted to blame on someone else? Are you satisfied that you have been honest? Do you realize that in this program, you will be doing this again and again, and therefore can check on your progress, as well as adding things to the list that you may not see right now? Share anything you feel you can on the loop, if you want to. It will help us all to learn.

B. If this is not your first inventory, do you see progress since your last one? Did you find some things that you had not seen before? Was it easier this time that the first time? Share anything you feel you can on the loop. If you want to, it will help us all to learn.

-- Love,
John

My Answers

1. I have completed my inventory. It isn't nearly as long as the first one!

2. Yes.

3. B. There has been enormous progress for me. I note that my level of anger is much lower than it was once, and more focused on things that are boundary issues, and not just general rage. I find that I am capable of much more honesty about my program, my food, and especially my feelings. There are still some problems, but I'm working on it! Doing a tenth step daily has helped a lot. I have worked the steps at least a dozen or more times, now, too.

Love,
John

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