Willingness is the key to understanding God. Giving up control, learning how to practice faith alleviates stress during circumstances that are beyond our control. I cannot tell you what your faith should be, and this alone should be cause for celebration! :)
In recovery, you will explore, by reading and working the Steps, finding out who you are, what you were, and where you need to go to heal and grow. No one does this for you. Recovery leaders only throw thoughts out into the air to assist you in looking inward.
Did you know that your responses to these questions have given me a great pause to consider other ideas in turn?
My will certainly created my life. I had no one else to blame, and yet on the other hand, no one else could take the credit for my life, at that time. I had what I had due to my own efforts and God was not as much in the overall picture as He is right now. (My level of God awareness was not extremely keen, and I hadn't yet received the thwack on the head about how He uses coincidence). As a newcomer, I was still caught up in "I'm in control" yet was becoming more open to the idea of allowing God to co-share in my life choices and meal plans since I had done such a gynormous job of it so far.
My will, such as it was: my perfectionism and all the other attendant flaws, I gave to Him. Make of them what you will, I thought. When I first gave me to Him, I just knew He was getting the short end of the stick and felt so sorry I couldn't have given Him something more to work with. Yet over time, I realized he had used me as I was, flaws and all, converting them into more useful things to help myself and serve others.
At each step (for me) my stumbling block was perfectionism, yet each step only requires willingness to work the steps to the best of my ability. God increases my levels of willingness each and every time I take this step.
QUESTIONS & SUGGESTED READING:
1)In the AA Big Book on page 569-570, read, then discuss, the revealed consciousness you have about God, or share your experience about noticing HP in other people.
2)I have mentioned the 8 tools of recovery. In those who use all or most of the 8 tools, I have witnessed VIBRANT recovery.
Discuss how you will use the 8 tools. If you are not using certain ones, discuss with us how you will use them in the future. No one expects perfection in their use; remember they are tools to help you grow in willingness.
a. Program literature
b. Writing / journaling
d. Service (to your face-to-face group or to the TRG fellowship)
e. Meetings (face-to-face or TRG on-line meetings, and OA phone meetings)
f. Telephone (outreach calls)
g. Sponsorship (Share up to the level of your experience--become a sponsor).
h. A food plan of your choice/ abstinence
3) Read "A Vision For You" in the AA Big Book.
What hope does this reveal for you?
4)I have heard this said at more than one meeting: "Answers will come if our own house is in order".
Think of the old "building materials" that you used to "build your life" and what you will replace them with.
Listing out your OLD BUILDING MATERIALS in 1 column and making a 2nd column for NEW BUILDING MATERIALS, what do you want your new house to be composed of? Use columns or just simply list these things upon paper, whatever works best for you.
For my personal examples of these columns, I had listed:
OLD HOUSE "materials"
lots of anger (which helped me make a living)
hanging on to negative people
hanging on to negative employers/ negative jobs
hanging on to negative experiences
getting complicated (about anything)
NEW HOUSE "materials"|
keeping things as simple as possible
asking God to put character flaws to better use
replacing negativity with the positive
(The above is an example of my own list. It is actually much longer. I kept it short so that I wouldn't embarrass myself or hurt my own feelings). :)
After "rebuilding your house" via listing the 2 columns on paper, read in the AA Big Book on page 63 during your meditation, using this prayer as a contract with HP to rebuild your house into something better or ~~NEW~~!
This prayer starts in the paragraph with the words: "We were now at Step Three. Many of us said to our Maker, as we understood Him: "God, I offer myself to Thee . . ."