INTRODUCTION

I am Cindi L and I became a compulsive overeater on September 20, 1969. Yes, I know the exact date because I know the event that led to my disease being activated physically. The emotional and spiritual sides of the disease came soon after that event. It was six weeks before my eighteenth birthday and I was a bridesmaid in my cousin's wedding. My first time as a bridesmaid and all dressed up in a beautiful gown with hair and makeup to match. Since I was shortly to be eighteen, it was decided by my father that I could take a drink. I did.

At the reception I took one drink, and I liked that effect so much I took another and another and another. Soon I was very drunk and passed out and became very ill. That introduction to alcohol set off something deep within me. I believe it was some sort of chemical reaction because the next thing I know, I cannot get enough sugar products.

Up until this time I had never been overweight, never had a problem with food and didn't know what in the world was wrong with me. Neither did anyone else. I couldn't stop eating; and because I couldn't stop eating, I gained fifteen pounds in six weeks. All my clothes were too tight and I was so embarrassed and so ashamed of how I looked. Then I began to isolate from all my beloved activities. I’d been a very active teenager in school, 4-H and church. My friends were hurt when I refused to go anywhere or do anything. The more I ate, the more I wanted to eat. The more I wanted to eat, the more I wanted to stay at home and have everyone just leave me alone! Eventually, they did. I spent the next thirty-five years of my life under the obsession of food, isolating from anyone and everyone.

My first experience with OA was a meeting where God was frequently mentioned. Since I am not a religious person, I left thinking these people were religious freaks. I wanted to lose weight, not find God. A few years passed,a few more added pounds and a lot more unhappiness sent me back to give OA another chance. This time around I stayed for about a year. I was going to meetings, listening to shares and sharing myself, reading literature and doing some minor service work. I thought I was working the program, but I did not understand why the program was not working for me. Look at all I was doing in program and yet nothing much was happening for me. So I left again, not giving OA another try for twenty years.

I was drifting through life without any goals, just simply existing. This continued until January of 2002 when I came back to OA at the age of 50, unemployed with a high school education, and weighing 300 pounds. Let me tell you that NO ONE wants to hire a 50-year-old fat woman with little education. So I had to do something and OA was it. This was my third try at OA and I began to understand what was needed to have recovery in a 12-Step program. First of all, I actually had to work the Steps. This was something I had not done in my second go-around with OA simply because fear held me back. On my third try I became more willing to do things the OA way because I was so desperate. The group said to get a sponsor. I got one. The group said to work the Steps. I did. The group said to use the 8 Tools of OA on a daily basis. I did. Day in and day out, I worked the program of OA and managed to stay abstinent for a full year. Then came the holidays and my disease whispered in my ear, "Time to celebrate. You have been abstinent a full year now. You know how to work program. This time you can handle sugar. Go ahead, eat." And I did!

It took me another eighteen months of on again/off again abstinence and working the program before I received my miracle that began my journey to good recovery. I would go four or five days abstinent and then Bam! Off again to sugarland. To give myself credit, I never stopped working program. I continued working through the Step questions in the workbook and I continued using the 8 Tools of OA. I continued working program whether I wanted to or not, whether I was abstinent or not. It paid off.

On June 1st, 2004 I received my miracle of abstinence, a gift for giving up self-will and putting my life in the care of a power greater than myself. Since that day, I have been free of cravings, free of binging and free of obsessive food thoughts. I am also 89 pounds lighter; but more important, I have peace of mind and serenity of soul. The promises of OA are slowly coming true for me. I am becoming the person that I have always wanted to be.

I am so grateful that I can be here with you today. Never give up until you find your own miracle!

Love in recovery,
Cindi L



What are the promises of working a 12 Step program? "If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are halfway through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feelings of uselessness and self pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.

Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us-sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them."

Big Book of Alcoholic Anonymous: Page 83 & 84 (Fourth Edition)