Well I am so glad you made it through last weeks hard work. Those who did Step 4 worked hard and I know you feel relieved that it is a great thing you accomplished. Step 4 is complete. Thank you HP or GOMU.
I want to assure you that you will think of many other actions from your past as time goes on. That does not mean you did not complete Step 4. It means you are growing in Recovery. If you are like me and many of the people in OA you will remember other acts from your past. At a meeting the other day I remembered something from my childhood. I mentioned it. Three other people at the meeting said they did the same thing when they were kids. I was shocked to hear that. I don't know why, because I know my story is like any other compulsive overeaters story.
So where do we go from here. Step 5 is another step that could fill us with fear. That four letter word again. We learned in Step 4 fear is not worth the effort it takes to keep it going. Fear is just a four letter word. We are bigger than it and we have a HP and many people on our side to give us the strength it takes to overcome fear in all its disguises.
Many ask the question, is it necessary to tell someone else my deep dark secrets. God knows already and I know so why do I have to tell someone else. The answer is another question. Do you want to stay in Recovery or not. It is just that easy. Your recovery depends on this step as much as any other step. The program tells me I have to do this step next. The quicker I get on with the step the sooner Recovery is mine.
This step not only measures our honesty but our integrity. We cannot skip over the harsh side of our life before we came to OA. We cannot fudge on how we treated our self and others. We must tell it like it was, warts and all. I hemmed and hawed after I completed Step 4. I spent a lot of time figuring out how to tell my life story and keep me as the darling of the show.
How could I tell about the dark side of my life when I was so sure everyone thought of me as this great person people looked up to? How could I tell about the money I stole? The lies I told? The many times I cheated family and friends. It all had to do with food. I thought I was the only person on this earth with such a guilty secret.
My sponsor and I sat in a restaurant, of all places. She listened to every word I said. She neither chided me for my actions nor did she tusk tusk at me as I told my story. She gave me her time and attention. More important than that, she gave me her love.
Who you choose to listen to your story is important. Your Step sponsor could be the one to hear your story. If you have an on line sponsor you may want to share with someone in person. Discuss this with your sponsor. Listen to the experience that is shared. It is important you do not burden someone who plays a big part in your history. Someone who has worked a Step 5 or your minister, doctor or therapist may be just the person to listen to your inventory. Ask for help and direction from your HP. Consider it well. Again you are worth any effort it takes to complete this step.
"When working this Step we do more than just recite events from the past which we consider to be our wrongs...We need to look at what those actions cost us."
The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Overeaters Anonymous. P.49
STEP FIVE ~ QUESTIONS
It was my privilege and joy to receive so many responses to last week's assignment. Thank you for staying on the journey to Recovery.
Some questions to consider this week as we contemplate the result of sharing our Step 4 inventory.
Have I ever considered the cost of my actions? What did my actions cost in friendships? Did I ever consider how much I was hurting me when I did what I did?
If you have already shared your inventory with someone share with us how it felt when you finished telling your story.
Keep moving along this road to happy destiny. Do a Step 5 this week.
Yours in ESH