Hi, My name is Dodee and I am a compulsive eater.
This step would be very painful, if it weren't just the first in the process. We have to know we will be given power later on, if we are to admit we have no power.
So we look at our lives honestly, knowing that if we find problems, we are on the way to finding a solution.
I find that my program has many peaks and valleys. I do the things I need to do to abstain and life becomes fairly easy and then one day I wake up to find myself balking at those things. I want to stomp my foot and say "I don't WANT to do all that stuff." Wah, wah.
I think that the root of this feeling of not being willing is that I lose sight of the seriousness of my disease. I become complacent about it. When I realize this about myself, I go back to the 1st Step.
Am I powerless over food? Not always. But if I take the first bite of a food that has been proven to be a binge food, I am taking a chance that I will never again be abstinent. Is it worth the risk? Clearly, it is not.
I ordered a pamphlet from OA World Service called "A Guide to the Twelve Steps for You and Your Sponsor." It was written before there was OA literature, so all the references are to AA literature. One of the books referenced was "AA Comes of Age" and specifically the address by Dr. Harry Tiebout, a psychiatrist who tried treating alcoholism before AA. He said we need to get to a place of surrender. That is the bottom of which we speak. I have typed out Dr. Tiebout's speech from that book and uploaded it to the files section of WTS if you don't have access to the book.
For today, I recognize that I am powerless over food. I see that when I am in the food, my life is unmanageable.
STEP ONE ~ QUESTIONS
For the person working the steps for the first time:
Do you think you are powerless over food?
How have you proved it?
In the Big Book it says that if you don't know for sure, you can sit down with a plate of your favorite foods. Take one bite and then watch what happens.
Are you able to stop after one bite?
Did you have to actually sit down with the plate or could you imagine what would happen?
Have you tried and failed at diet programs?
Have you succeeded only to regain the weight "with interest."
Is your life unmanageable?
Are people taking advantage of you?
Do you put yourself last?
Are your finances in a mess?
Is your house in a mess?
Are you waiting until you are thin to live life?
Do you think that everything would be all right if you were thin or if everyone would do things the way you want them to?
If you have previously done a 1st Step, then go back and answer the questions by inserting the words "now" or "still" in them. Make this current.
Are there still foods that I am powerless over?
Are there still foods I am eating that I am powerless over?
Do that with all the questions.