My name is Tami, and I am your WTS Step Study Leader this quarter. I am grateful to be recovering one day at a time by the grace of my Higher Power, this program and my own effort.
I did step six my first time soon after completing step five. The first time may be the most memorable, but this step is one in which I must become willing to have my defects removed and remain continuously willing.
This step appears so simple, but it is easier in theory than in actual practice. When I've finished a step 5 and my self will gone riot and undesirable ways of coping are glaringly evident to me, I am quick to want to proceed to Step Six. I think this is natural to want to proceed, and forward momentum is an important ingredient to recovery.aking too long with step six is not necessary, it is the preliminary work to Step Seven when we actually ask God for our defects of character to be removed.
It sounds like this step should just be a done deal, doesn't it? We want our defects removed, we hand them to our HP and the deal is sealed. Whoosh they are gone. I don't know about anyone else, but my experience is that much like Step Three, where I asked for God's will for my life, and I keep asking for that will daily and the power to continue to do that ~ one day at a time, step six is the same way. I must continuously keep this step before me. As I pray for God's will and work the steps, I become increasingly aware the effect of my defects upon me and others.
In fact, my defect of procrastination has become so uncomfortable to me, it is nearly more painful to remain in it than to take the action necessary to break out of it. This is how this step becomes evident in me is thru my awareness. This is so with my defect of resentments. I have become so uncomfortable with a resentment, that I am moved to seek God's will how to handle these in my life. I begin to ask what is my part, the other person's part? Is an amend needed? Do I need to let go? I start to ask for guidance and I am alert to the nudges from my inner promptings.
More than that, I am moved to stop just thinking and whining about it. I am moved to seek my HP in meditation and prayer, which means my HP will guide me to take an action at the appropriate time. I am reminded of it over and over, my conscience continues to nag at me, until I resolve this....because I know that without the food, I am conscious and unable to avoid this without a major relapse. Relapse is not an option I desire, so I take the spiritual action necessary to grow, to change, and to seek God's will.
The AA BB states it in this way:
"....we then look at Step Six. We have emphasized willingness as being indispensable. Are we now ready to let God remove from us all the things which we have admitted are objectionable? Can He now take them all--every one? If we still cling to something we will not let go, we ask God to help us be willing." Chapter: Into Action
In the past, my defect of criticism made me feel powerful and superior. I got a rush in putting other's down. The negative side of that is that the feeling of superiority lasts only a few minutes, and I was always left with a guilty conscience, and the fear that other's were talking about me in the same nasty manner. Then, I had more problems, and I wanted to overeat because of it. Today, I speak up and I say something positive about the person, or I ask the person to stop it. The first few times I did it, I had prayed for months for the courage to speak up with a calm manner. When I did begin to do this the other person was shocked. Another time, the person shouted at me, but I remained calm only by the grace of God. And then, I just calmly stated that I didn't want to put that person down, and I wouldn't talk behind their back. It set the boundary, and was respected after. They are still speaking to me, but not drawing me into malicious criticism or gossip. It was not easy, and I made some mistakes along the way. In time, as I examined what I wanted my behavior to be with my HP, my way became clear. And I found the courage was supplied by my HP as I remain consistently willing.
The most important thing about Step Six is to be willing to do it with my Higher Power. One of the harms that my Higher Power has shown me that my defects do to me besides the loss of self esteem and clear conscience, is that they reduce my effectiveness to do His will for my life. Just as the food came between me and my HP before I learned in the first few steps to put it down so that I could hear my Higher Power, so too do my defects interfere with my clear connection to my Higher Power. They keep me focused on self will and self interest, not in doing my Higher Power's will in my life, and therefore being of use for furthering to help others be attracted to this way of life in recovery.
I used to be afraid of change, now it is getting easier to flow with changes that come as a natural part of life and reality. This program of recovery through the Twelve Steps is about being willing to change and at the very least not resisting change. The most amazing thing for me to learn is that when I open myself up to change with my HP's guidance, then it begins to take the fear out of it, as I stay willing. It is a balancing act that can only be accomplished as anything else in our recovery ~ one day at a time.
WTS Step Study Leader
STEP SIX ~ QUESTIONS
1. What is your attitude regarding change?
List defects and shortcomings you are willing to turn over.
Qualities I wish to work towards:
What are the choice defects that I would rather keep?
What harm is it doing me to cling to each of these ways of thinking and
In what ways do I trust the God of my understanding in working this Step?
How do I know I am entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of
Do I make demands on God, praying for a specific result rather than
trusting God to know which defect is most important to remove?
How would the slogan "Let god and Let God help me?
Blessings in program,