Dear Fellow Travelers:
Step 6 reads:
Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
My name is Donna and I am a compulsive eater.
After sharing our inventory with ourselves, our HP and with another person, it is time to begin the process of letting God remove our defects of character. I look at this somewhat like a snake, shedding its skin. This is necessary for me to go on living, in recovery. It will improve my "appearance", but, like the snake - while it is happening I may appear to be completely whole, or completely "myself".
When I first encountered Step 6, it looked pretty simple to me. I thought to myself, "why in the world would I NOT want to have all my character defects removed?" But then I thought of some of the things in my life, that I have grown used to. Some things that I slough off by saying "oh, that's just the way I am." or everyone's favorite: "Well, nobody's perfect!" There are some character defects that have grown familiar to me, and, while I would like to think I would LOVE to be perfect, I guess I have to admit that sometimes I am not "ENTIRELY ready" to be relieved of ALL my character defects.
But that is what Step 6 says.
Another challenge to Step 6, for me, is much the same as I experienced with Step One: why should THIS episode of my recovery be any different than the 99 preceding it? In other words, will I truly expect God to remove my defects this time, when I have asked this of Him before (with varying degrees of sincerity) and the same old defects are still part of my life? I ask myself: why should I try to live without my character defects, when I know how hard it has been, in the past, for me to change and/or remove them?
I think the key here lies in the wording of Step 6. All that we are asked, in this step is to "be entirely ready". And, being Program people, it is important to remind ourselves that ANYTHING we do is to be done "just for today". If we want to move forward in our recovery, we must take yet another leap of faith, with this Step, and become ready - for this 24 hours - to have God remove our defects.
What does that really mean? I believe this readiness begins with a prayerful attitude, as it is GOD who will be doing the removing, and not us. We wull have to put forth some effort, but it is HIS power and direction which will lead us in the way of removing. And the readiness has to be sincere, and it has to be expectant: we have to watch for ways to implement the defect removal. We walk through each day, expectantly waiting and asking, with each thought or action "What shall I do here? Is there something here that needs attention?"
One thing I have noticed is that the degree of defect removal for each 24 hours is in direct proportion to the amount of sincere willingness which I bring to each day. My defects have taken years to "perfect"........and, though my willingness to have God remove them will affect SOME changes, they will NOT all be permanantly removed, within 24 hours, as if by magic. So just be grateful for whatever change God is able to make, in your life, for today.
To put it in Program language: progress, not perfection.
May God bless you all as you put your faith in your Higher Power, and allow the change to transform you one day at a time. Take that step of faith: you will be glad you did.
Donna, food addict
1. What is the difference between saying I am entirely ready; and being entirely ready?
2. Why is so hard, to be entirely ready to part with my defects?
3. What have my character defects (as a whole) done TO me?
4. What have some of them done FOR me?
5. What do I believe is the essence of Step 6?
Donna, food addict