Step Five

"Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs."



"Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs."

"All of A.A.'s Twelve Steps ask us to go contrary to our natural desires . . . they all deflate our egos. When it comes to ego deflation, few Steps are harder to take than Five. But scarcely any Step is more necessary to longtime sobriety and peace of mind than this one." (AA Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions pg. 55).

Dear Friends,

The spiritual principal involved in Step 5 is honesty. "We must be entirely honest with somebody if we expect to live long or happily in this world." (AABB pgs. 73&74)

In recovery I have heard it said many times that "we are as sick as our secrets." With Step 5 we take an active step toward being healthy, or as my sponsor says: "we will come clean and we will be clean." With this step we begin cleaning the slate. We see that we are going to be starting fresh and new but to do that everything needs to be brought out into the light and not just the things we want known or are comfortable with being known. It says clearly in the AABB that those who hold back, will invariably drink (in or case, overeat) again. It is not enough for us to know, we need that humbling (not humiliating) experience of having another know what happened and what our part was. Only in that way do we lose our egoism and fear.

The last Fifth Step I did was the most thorough Fifth Step I have ever done. I held nothing back, I shared things I had not shared in previous 5th steps because at that time I felt it was enough for me to know. Or in one case, I didn't want to say it out loud because then I would have to admit my own wrong and I didn't really want to, I wanted to keep holding on to the wrong done to me. Thank God I finally gave it up. What a relief.!

My sponsor is an online sponsor and I mailed him my entire fourth step. I was very clear in my Fourth Step in where I was at fault. I was very forthright and it has proven to be the greatest gift I have given myself. Whether you do your Fifth Step face to face with someone, by telephone, or through email, as long as you are honest, direct and fearless, it will work perfectly well. Be sure to choose someone who understands the process you are going through when giving your Fifth Step. I know for myself, that hearing someone's Fifth Step is an honor that takes place in holy time. I stood tall afterwards; honesty and responsibility have a way of straightening my spine. Remember we are not alone. With Step Five we are saying good bye to isolation and loneliness.

"This feeling of being at one with God and man, this emerging from isolation through the open and honest sharing of our terrible burden of guilt, brings us to a resting place where we may prepare ourselves for the following Steps toward a full and meaningful sobriety." (AA 12x12 pg. 62).


Step Five Questions:

1) How did you decide who would listen to your 5th Step?

2) How did you do Step Five with your Higher Power? And Yourself?

3) What was it like to tell someone the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?

4) Do you feel a sense of freedom or is there still something you are holding back?

5) Please list at least three things you are grateful for having completed your Fifth Step.

All my love,

Step Four

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