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LEADER'S SHARE ~ STEP TWELVE
The Twelfth Step is vast in its sweep, even as it is short and simple.
I think by now that most of you realize that I certainly did have a
spiritual awakening when I first came to OA. I am persuaded that this is not
just a one shot deal. True, the light is now on, and the darkness is no
longer sovereign. But there are so many corners and turns and hallways and
rooms in the house that is my self, that I have to keep on turning on the
lights. Sometimes this has been a hard job, but each time I do it, I think I
learn a few new things that help me later on. Recently I needed to do some
inner child work, and since I had once established this line of interior
communication, it didn't require that I start from ground zero. The fruit of
this work is that I can come to terms with my fears and anxieties much more
easily. Thus the notion of taking a daily inventory is not so difficult as
it was once, when taking any inventory took months to accomplish.
Very early I came to realize that service was not just a tool, but was
really a part of the Twelfth Step. As soon as I could, I made my
qualification and led a meeting. When I had done the work my meeting
required, I offered myself as a sponsor. Before too long, I had takers. In
due time, I went on to being the Intergroup Rep, and so on and so forth.
Each trail seemed to lead to another place, and each place had opportunities,
and I took such of them as I came across. I never asked myself whether I
could do the task, or whether I was worthy of it. I always assumed that with
help from HP and my friends, I could always do whatever had to be done. And
the issue of worthiness is simply a manifestation of my own insanity in this
disease. If I were not worthy, why would HP put this thing right in the
middle of my path? And if HP thought I was worthy, who am I to argue?
In 1998 I discovered the Recovery Group. We were rather smaller then
than now, but the big loops were all there, and I joined WTS. It was not
long before I was a Co-Coordinator, then the Coordinator. And then an
Administrator of the Recovery Group, and your step leader for this quarter.
What is next? Already, I know that I'm going to sponsor for the next
quarter. And after that, whatever God has in mind will turn up.
The process of the Steps obviously is aimed at recovery, but the
spiritual principles upon which the program is based is the best way to live,
whether in business or family. Look at the Promise which says, "We will
intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us."
For me, this has made a major difference in the direction of my
career. The trust of HP extended to beginning to trust myself, that together
HP and I could make decisions which were in my best interests. In terms of
economics alone, it has been most remarkable. In terms of friendships and
serenity and peace, it has been most remarkable. I had never had a really
good job, but now I have choices between good jobs. I had few friends, and
now I have many, and they are good for me. Putting the principles to work in
as many of my affairs besides just recovery as I could, has resulted in my
having a whole new life to enjoy.
So you can see that this is how I have worked the Twelfth Step.
How have you done it?
Share with me.
Love,
John
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