Step Four

Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.



LEADER'S SHARE ~ STEP FOUR


My Dearest Love,

Part of me feels saddened that our relationship has to end after such a long time. However what we had together will always remain with me till the end of my days. Difficult as it is I know I must end our relationship because I know in the end if I don't, I will die a long and painful death.

I remember the times where you comforted me and 'wiped' away my tears. I remember the times when you soothed my anger and proffered a new resolve to do things differently. I remember also the times when you were all I had to keep me company and I remember the anxiety I felt when you weren't there.

Looking back I can see you brought out the best and the worst in me, I was always the most generous of hostesses ensuring that none of my guests left hungry, all the while secretly reminiscing about the little Tête-à-têtes we would have before the guests arrived and then I'd pretend I hadn't been with you. I was always prepared to drop everything to help other people, but never let myself become so weak and feeble! I was always the person people would come to with their problems and I ran to you with mine. I was the one who calculated, contrived and manipulated situations so that you and I could be together. I got angry when anyone would intrude on our private party.

I got enraged and ignored those who claimed that you and I spent too much time together, I hated those who tried to take you away from me so I plotted and planned for the times you and I could spend in each others company, I guess I showed them a thing or two huh!

I pretended that you and I were not an item, especially when I was in a crowd of people I knew would never understand the relationship we had together. I never showed you off in front of anyone, not even family members and especially not my mother. She used to use you to get to me, she would shame me, because I cared for you so, but it only served to make my love for you stronger.

Sometimes I would do things I wasn't proud of, just so we could be together. I stole money for you, I lied and cheated for you and I turned my back on everyone who tried to force us apart. I knew you better than all those doctors and specialists; there was nothing they could tell me about you that I didn't already know.

They were the very best of times and the very worst!

I guess you are wondering why I am saying goodbye after such a long relationship. Well I have found someone new who makes me feel better than you do. Someone who cares for me, who listens to me, and who respects me for who I am. They challenge me to become a better person, they are there to pat me on the back when I succeed and offer shelter when times get hard. They offer me courage, strength and wisdom and they love me for who I am and for who I want to be.

I know that just because our relationship is over, it doesn't mean that we won't still see each other from time to time, but when that time comes I'll just say hi and be on my way. So I guess I'll end it here with farewell, adieu and goodbye.

Love,
SueG




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