Dear Fellow Travelers,
Step Three Essay
Well here we go, the step wherein we either do or don't find trust. Step one brought about the admission of our powerless position with food and the chaos of our lives. Hopefully the utterly useless task of changing anything or anyone except ourselves has begun to be understood. Now that the need for change is planted in our brain it has to also have an entity greater than ourselves to bring this unthinkable action into play. For many including myself some sort of image was needed other than the punishing vengeful God of my youth. Just what do You look like? Many visions are available, and try as I may, nothing suffices, at least not for long. My God has no face. :=)
So for my purpose, which is saving what is left of my life, You are a spirit I am not able to see. However I can and do feel You. Knowing God exists is paramount to being able to make this decision and that is all I'm asked to do. There is nevertheless the common thread woven into these first three steps. It is coming to accept You and if that is not possible neither is any form of relief. Oh there may be some form of diet in place, but that is not abstinence, as abstinence, as defined by me at least, is the absence of compulsive eating and negative thinking along with a spiritual life.
All three legs of the stool must be in place. Oh oh, I used the "must" word and somewhere along the line a person not remembered said there are no musts in the program. So okay, I'll drop the "must" for a "you damn well better." Now if at this point you are thinking this is getting complicated it is because like me you have the feeling that up till this point the program has been easy enough, and now is going to be hard. Only if you make it so by holding on to old ideas and ideals. Story time for all of God's children.
A very skilled man is climbing a mountain of great height when near the highest peak he slips but manages to grab hold of the branch of a bush. He looks down into 5,000 feet of nothingness and the branch begins to break. He cries out IS ANYBODY OUT THERE? Silence save for the wind as it becomes colder. In desperation our man cries, dear God please help, and a voice says I'm here. The man says are you God, the voice answers yes, what do you want? Our guy figures this is not the time to ask for too much and replies, please save me. God says, no problem I can do anything, just let go of the branch. Our mountain climber looks around surveying the situation and calls out, IS THERE ANYBODY ELSE OUT THERE?
This I believe is where we are on our journey to recovery. Those who are bleeding and beaten by this vicious, cruel master will make the needed leap of FAITH and make the decision to turn all of their lives over to the care of God as they understand Him. Male or female, fish or fowl, flesh and blood or spirit, find your God now and then trust. Let go of the damn branch! After all, up to this time in your life things haven't really been so good, have they? No, I did not think so. Now make a decision, that is all that is asked of you in step three.
Of course the decision is to turn our will away from ours as it is flawed and will give us no peace, no serenity, no joy nor happiness. This is where the faith comes in: to believe that which is unseen and may never be save in the power of the ocean waves, the absolute beauty of a new born child or the love in the eyes of the people you love reflecting back at you.
Still have doubts and fears? Replace them with faith. Read page 449 of the AA BB and believe. Then make the decision to place your will in line with God's will. Those who do so will be continuing on to the 4th step. Ohhhhh !! Poops! He said 4th step. Replace fear with faith and some of us will be here to hold your hands.... Decisions only. That is all we are asked to do.
AND WHY NOT.....Danny