Step Ten

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Step Twelve

My name is Kay and I am a recovering compulsive overeater.  I am happy to serve as the step leader for this month.  Service has always been important to me and in doing service such as this I almost always learn something about myself that helps me.

First of all, for me, this step is about learning to make conscious contact with God as I understand Him.  It is about setting aside times every day and making a commitment to talk to (pray) and listen to (meditation) my HP.  I am not saying that I expect God to speak to me in an audible voice.  That would probably scare the crap out of me if it happened.  I am speaking about quieting the body and the mind so that I can open my heart and mind to the truths and lessons of God as I understand Him.

"In Step 11 we are challenged to actively seek to improve our relationship with our Higher Power in the same way we might develop any relationship, by taking the time on a regular basis to be with HP."  (OA 12&12, pg. 92)  This is a good analogy for me because I know my relationships  with other human beings suffer unless I spend quality time with them and share with them things about myself and then listen to what that person has to share about
himself/herself.

I would also like to use another analogy that helps me to understand the concept of this step.  I have a telephone.  I use the telephone to conduct business and to talk to my friends and family when I cannot see them on a regular basis. Prayer would be like me picking up the telephone and making the call.  The important thing for me to remember here is that NOTHING IS GOING TO HAPPEN WHEN THE TELEPHONE IS NOT PLUGGED IN.  I am not going to be able to make any calls and I am not going to be able to receive any calls. Therefore, prayer and meditation is like making sure the connection is open to God as I understand Him.

I don't know about the rest of you but I can easily get busy and before I know it days, weeks, and even longer can lapse and then I will realize that I have not talked to someone very important to me.  So, it important to set aside a time to make that contact.  I guess what I am trying to say here is that it is important that I plan ahead and commit time to spend with that person.  I know in my relationship with my husband that it is very easy to let time pass without spending any quality time with him and I know that our relationship suffers because of this.  Another thing I have noticed is that out of sight is out of mind in a lot of cases.  In other words there is no visual reminded that I need to contact someone.  So, when I get overly busy then it is likely I will forget to make contact.

Here are the first set of questions for journaling.  I would like to encourage each of you to share your experiences about this step with us.  It is very important that I hear your story too.  That is how I grow and bloom in the program.  I need to know that there are others like me who have had similar problems and I need to hear those who have had different problems so that I can understand those things about myself that have as yet been revealed to me.

In love and service,
Kay
 

1.  Have there been times when prayer was hard for you?  What did you do to get through it?

2.  Step 11 talks about us praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out. Concerning prayer, in what ways do you pray differently now than when you first came into the program?

3.  Concerning getting the answers to your prayers, share your experience about the ways and the criteria you use to determine which thoughts are God's directions and which are your own rationalizations?
 
 

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Step Eleven ~ Part 2

"Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact
with God, as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of
His will for us, and the power to carry that out."

Hello, my name is Kay and I am a recovering compulsive overeater and your step leader for this month.

"When we refuse air, light, or food, the body suffers.  And when we turn away from meditation and prayer, we likewise deprive our minds, our emotions, and our intuitions of vitally needed support.  As the body can fail its purpose for lack of nourishment, so can the soul.  We need the light of God's reality, the nourishment of His strength, and the atmosphere of His grace."  (AA 12 &12, Pages 97 and 98)

One of the things that has made this real for me is experience.  I still have difficulty at times with prayer and meditation.  I have experienced the nourishment that I get from prayer and meditation, even the oneliners in the Big Book.  So today, much like the excess food, my bottom is not as low, and I am able to feel that I am missing something when I get in those modes where prayer and meditation take a place in my proprities that is less than
sufficient to be effective and nourishing.

Things of spiritual nature are hard for me to discuss and to put into words, kind of like sex :-).  It is always comforting to hear that others have the same problem.  It reminds me that I am not alone, and it also reveals to me ways in which I can move into action that will get me results instead of just sitting around thinking that something must be wrong with the program instead of the possibility that there is something I could do which is going to make
things better.  I love that this is a spiritual program of action.

This step talks about making conscious contact with God as we understood Him.
AA 12&12 states, "Prayer and meditation are our principal means of conscious contact with God."  I don't always understand God or what God is or what God does or how God works.  I do understand this, unless I make conscious contact with Him, I will never have an understanding.  The AA 12&12 also talks about those who "recoiled from meditation and prayer as obstinately as the scientist who refused to perform certain experiment lest it prove his pet theory wrong.  Of course we finally did experiment, and when unexpected results followed, we felt different; in fact we knew different; and so we were sold on meditation and prayer."  That is my experience.  Even when I recoil from meditation and prayer today, perhaps it is my fear of finding out that my theory has been wrong.

Another thing about this program that attracts me is the experiments.  I lived a live on theory before and it did not work.  My theory was I could eat all I wanted and still be thin.  Another theory was that I could do it all by myself, I was self-sufficient.  Sad to say, that was not the results of my experience.  Likewise with prayer and meditation, there have been theories of mine that have died in the light of reality. I have learned in this program to
try something different in order to get different results.

Here are the questions for journaling.
 

1.  OA 12 & 12 states on page 92, “In order to recover from compulsive eating, we need a living, developing, ongoing relationship with this Higher Power........”  What specific measures do you take to ensure that you have conscious contact with HP every day?

2.  What have you learned about prayer that helps you seek only to know God's will for us and the power to carry that out and to refrain from the Santa Clause type of prayers you prayed in the past?

3.  Have you used God letters, a God can, burnt offerings, or other rituals to deliver your prayers to God?  Share how this has helped you.
 

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Step Eleven ~ Part 3

"Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact
with God, as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of
His will for us, and the power to carry that out."

My name is Kay and I am a recovering compulsive overeater.  Since the last two
questions for journaling on Step 11 were about prayer, I would like to talk here about meditation.  Meditation has been very beneficial to me.  When I completed my first three steps through reading and writing assignments, it was suggested that each individual find a method of meditation that is effective for them (i.e.,Transcendental Meditation, Yoga, etc.).  I mention these not to promote any particular meditation, but to give an example of the type of meditation that was being suggested.  The meditations mentioned above are
meditations that are used to quite the mind and relax the body.  On page 93 of the OA 12&12, paragraph 2, it says "Remembering that our goal is to develop a closer conscious contact with God, prayer is simply what we do when we talk with our Higher Power, and meditation is simply a way of stilling our minds and opening our spirits to God's influence."

Meditation means several things to me.  First of all, meditation can be about thinking about the meaning of program literature or a prayer and focusing my attention on "the truths contained" therein and opening "our minds to receive new understanding and direction for our Higher Power" (OA 12&12, pgs. 93 & 94).  This is important to me because I need to take time out to think things through.  Much of my life was spend reacting and acting impulsively and not much time was spent in thinking about truths.  I also took many things to be true that through the grace of God and this program, I no longer believe in.  Some of those things were about the truths about God.  In doing my third step, I spent time thinking about and searching out the truths of God and I was able to put some prejudices and lies to bed with that approach.

OA 12&12, page 96 talks about "Meditation is an action which gives us much-needed practice in the art of sitting still and opening our hearts to receive spiritual nourishment.  Most of us have spent a lot of time running--running from food, then running to it--and many of us have turned to excess food for its sedative effect.  Eating compulsively was our chief means of relaxation.  Meditation offers us a way to stop running and to relax without eating."  I was one of those people.  I had a hard time sitting still and I used food as my primary sedative.  This is the kind of meditation I was encouraged to learn, along with the
contemplative type of meditation, as a means of relaxation.  I do this type of meditation for stress management.  This helps me to manage all stress, even good stress.  The OA 12&12 says "Our primary purpose in meditating is simple:  we seek to relax and receive spiritual nourishment by experiencing more fully our connections with our true unfragmented selves and with our Higher Power."

The contemplative meditation helps me to seek understanding and truth from the program literature and prayers.  By doing this type of meditation, my goal is to open my mind and my heart to the insights that God would have me to receive.  My goal for the relaxation meditation is to quiet my body and my mind and to relax so that I can receive spiritual nourishment.

I have heard people other than myself talk about those "Aha" moments when God gives us insights to truths that we were void of at the moment. This is what I have received by taking time to think things through.  The 4th Step was the greatest gift that God could have given me.  It was one of those "Aha" moments when I realized that in the process of doing the steps that God was going to give me something I didn't have instead of taking something away from me.  There were many "Aha" moments especially in coming to understand how God and the steps work.

There have been many benefits of the relaxation meditation too.  I am better able to cope with anything that arises because I take 30 minutes out of my day to quiet my body and mind.  I usually do my relaxation meditation about 3 PM because I have a down time there.  I feel like I have taken a 3 hour nap after my meditation and my energy has been restored.  My emotions are on a much more even keel at all times.  My blood pressure has gone from 120 over 80 to 94 over 70.  I feel my health has improved.  My allergies no longer bother me.  I feel much more centered and less fragmented.  A truth I learned here was that
my body works much better when it is relaxed and is able to heal itself and restore itself.

Best of all, as promised on page 98 of the OA 12&12, "Practiced regularly, they (prayer and meditation) open our lives to the comfort we sought in food but could never find."

The AA 12&12 says of meditation, "It knows no boundaries, either of width or height."  My Higher Power knows no boundaries, either of width or height.  I really like the similarity there.

For me, prayer is a way I talk to God.  Meditation is a way for me to listen to God.  I liken meditation to having the telephone plugged in.  If my phone line to God is not plugged in through the relaxation meditation, I am not going to get any calls.  In other words, my intuition is not going to be working.  One of the things I can do with my relaxation meditation is to ask God a question for which I desire an answer prior to my meditation.  I do not contemplate the answer during the meditation.  I just practice the discipline
of the meditation.  I cannot tell you how many time shortly after my meditation when I am cleaning the bathroom or some other simple chore around the house that I have received the answer to the question through avenues mentioned in the OA 12&12 on page 97.  I get a new idea or concept, a change in my motive or attitude, a feeling that my energy has been renewed or a bad mood has lifted.  I have not even been working on it.

Thanks for allowing me to serve you and the fellowship by being the step leader for the month.
 
 

1.  If you practice the contemplative type of meditation, will you share a recent insight you received and how that insight has helped you?

2.  If you practice the relaxation type of meditation, will you share the benefits you feel that you have received from it?

3.  How important is meditation as the vehicle for you to get to a place of peace and serenity?  Please explain.

4.  Since there are innumerable types of meditation, would you please share your favorite relaxation meditation with us?

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Step Ten

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Step Twelve