Step Ten

"Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong,
promptly admitted it."


Step Ten Contents:

Part 1 and Questions for journaling
Part 2 and Questions for journaling
Part 3 and Questions for journaling
 
 

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Step Ten ~ Part 1

"Continued to take inventory and when we were wrong,
promptly admitted it."




Hi everyone.  I'm Carrie a compulsive eater and anorexic.

I've been involved in 12 step groups (alanon and OA) on and off for 8 years now.  I found the overeating fellowship that exists through AOL and the internet in 1995 and have since been involved in face to face meetings in Kansas City, Lawrence, Wichita KS and here in Anchorage Alaska.  Yes, I live in Alaska.  As a result of drawing nearer to God (read higher power if you need to), I've been guided to my earthly home.  This does make doing these questions "difficult" for me, because all my recovery books are still in boxes in Wichita.  I only moved a month and a half ago and they're not here yet.  Bear with me.  I've been trying to pray through this, but I'm not certain how well I'll do.  This is definitely a new experience.

Though I've been involved in 12 step programs for several years,  I had not taken the opportunity to work the steps until this past year.  I actually joined WTS as step 10 was beginning last year.   I had to take some time off over the summer as I moved, but I tried to get caught up.  I may still be sending out some "older" posts within the next few weeks.

Now on with the questions.  To me, Step 10 seems to be a reminder that the twelve steps are not a one time thing.  Just attending and working the program by osmosis isn't enough.  Just doing the steps once isn't enough.  I have to continue being realistic with myself about who I am, who I am becoming, and who I want to be.  Continuing to take inventory is part of how I do that.

Life has been so traumatic for me for so long that I still yearn for moments of rest.  I've come to believe though, that there are no plateaus in life and recovery.  If I'm not making strides forward, I'm fallingor sliding backwards.  I'd absolutely love to be able to tread water for awhile, but that just isn't possible in my life.  Maybe that's true for you too.  Regardless of what my situation in life is, it's my responsibility to be the best person I can be at all times.  I used to think that meant being completely perfect every second of every minute, (and still do sometimes) but now I see it as more of an unreachable bullseye I should still be aiming for.  I can come close, but it's not attainable.  Why keep trying?  Because I'd rather continue stiving to be a better person than settle for less.  That doesn't mean the anorexia doesn't creep on me now and then.  It does mean I'm more able, now, to forgive myself, pick myself up and start again.  I used to hate the starting over until I hear a wonderful analogy from another OA person:  a spiral staircase.  Even though I may think I'm in exactly the same place again, I'm not.  Something about the situation will be different, even if I can't put my finger on what it is.  It took quite awhile before I experienced that and believed it, but I now find it's true, and it helps me deal with the setbacks a little bit more.

Let me stop there for now and give these questions for thought.
 

Step Ten ~ Part 1: Questions

"Continued to take inventory and when we were wrong,
promptly admitted it."

1.  How do you or have you approached step 10?

2.  How do you view "continued to take personal inventory"?  Is it frustrating or helpful?

3.  As you see it, how does this step elaborate on and/or connect to steps four through nine?
 
 

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Step Ten ~ Part 2

"Continued to take inventory and when we were wrong,
promptly admitted it."

Hi everyone.  I'm Carrie, a compulsive eater and anorexic.

This past week has been extremely rough for me, including a trip to the doctor's office.  I also have been getting encouragement from a wonderful support person to remember my food allergies which has gotten the anorexic more avid again.  (If I can't eat _____, _____, and ______, I guess I can't eat anything, so I might as well not eat).  It also gets the cravings going for the foods I react to.  Vicious circle.

In the midst of this, I'm trying to find what to ask to encourage other folks to think about/share about, and feeling totally inadequate and that I'm a complete total failure at working the steps.  Hmmm.  Maybe others have felt this way too.  Hmmm.  Maybe that's part of where step Ten came into being, and why it's important.  I don't have to only get one shot at this.  In fact, I *Don't* get one shot.  It's a continuing process, with the promises of serenity and abstinence attached.  Step ten, right now, is a reminder to me that I don't have to have it right.  I just have to be willing to continue the process.

Unfortunately, if I get thinking about the process, though, I'm one of those folks that will miss what's going on around me.  I hiked up a mountain recently and didn't see the view till we were going down.  I rested twice in the same place.  I said "WOW!!!!" the second time.  My brother said "It's as pretty now as when you went up!" to which I replied, "Yeah, but I was trying to breathe then."  I wasn't looking around!  I was so focused that I missed what was there for me to see. Yet another reminder, to me, that I have to be certain to be aware.  There's a balance there somewhere.  Someday, I might glimpse it.  Not gonna hold my breath this evening.

In the meantime, I'm still here, I'm still willing to work the steps, and that's about it.
 

Step Ten ~ Part 2: Questions

"Continued to take inventory and when we were wrong,
promptly admitted it."


1.  If you have worked through the steps before, have there been times where going back through the steps seemed like the last thing you wanted to do?  How did you approach that?

2.  If you have not worked through the steps to this point, how do you feel about the prospect of continuing to work the steps?

3.  Regardless of which question you answered,  what can you do and/or what do you do to encourage youself as you work the steps, and look at step 10 in particular?
 
 

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Step Ten ~ Part 3

"Continued to take inventory and when we were wrong,
promptly admitted it."



Hi folks.  This is Carrie.

This month has been very difficult for me, and when I get very stressed, my first reaction is to run from life.  From the steps, still, too.  Though I try to tell myself I'm dedicated to the program, I still find points in time where the steps and life don't seem to connect.  Life seems too complicated for these steps to work during the hectic/bizarrely frantic times of my life.  I know that's not the truth, but it's what I tend to do still.
 
 

Step Ten ~ Part 3: Questions

"Continued to take inventory and when we were wrong,
promptly admitted it."


Since we do not have much time before the eleventh step begins, I have tried to come up with just one more section of questions, and even that has been very difficult this week/weekend.  Therefore, I'm taking the really woosy way out and borrowing something someone else shared.  I had never seen it before, so I'd like people to share:

1) what it means to them,

2) what the most meaningful thing about the twelve steps are to them.  Maybe even a gratitude list or two!

Take this opportunity to find a way to encourage yourself for what you do, and
encourage some of the rest of us by sharing it with us.

STEP TEN PRAYER.....I pray I may continue:
To grow in understanding and effectiveness...To take daily spot check inventories of myself...To correct mistakes when I make them...To take responsibility for my actions...To be ever aware of my negative and self-defeating attitudes and behaviors...To keep my willfulness in check...To always remember I need Your help...To keep love and tolerance
of others as my code...And to continue in daily prayer how I can best serve You, My Higher Power.
 


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