We have finally been blessed by rain, a lot of slow, earth sinking rain. Yesterday after my regular 8:15 A.M.meeting I came home and worked in the garden. Played in the mud actually. The sun shone, but not too much. The breeze was just the right amount of coolant. I dug back grass that had grown on the driveway and started to prepare beds for all the bulbs I bought for my five year plan to make spring a time of beautiful color before the perennials bloom. I thinned some of the still growing portchulaca and alyssum, which have killed each other looking for space.
My time in the garden is my meditation time, interrupted by yelling at the dogs to stop digging where I have planted. Serenity mixed with reality ... what else is new. I have heard so much I need to think about this week. Just when I think I have it (perfection) I lose it. Thank you God for not letting me graduate again. I did that 25 yrs ago give or take a month and I have been given the gift of recovery which I cherish and nurture each day for 22 yrs and 9 months.
My son-in-law in law drove up while I was digging and thinking and added to my pleasure by telling me how necessary to his well being riding alone in the woods and coming out onto green gallops where you truly feel alone and blessed with quiet.
Noise pollution is something we all encounter. Different noises invade the peace of different people. I know that city dwellers find it hard to sleep in the silence and darkness that is deep country. My sister-in-law who died of alcoholism hated the absolute darkness of Island nights. I love complete darkness. I love complete silence. I sometimes write to music but most of the time I evict even the soft sounds of dogs breathing from my writing room. Abelard said that in order to hear God's voice we need complete silence. We need the same to reach the well spring of thoughts within us. This was easy for a fourteenth century philosopher but it needs work to achieve silence in this day and age. Sounds however muted are always present.
In my garden I hear the sound of my tiny fountain, the birds calling to their friends, "come on over she has filled our lunch station." When I am sitting instead of shoveling I can hear the insects who come to collect nectar from a variety of flowers.
Last week I found out that I had some humming birds. I was sitting on my newly placed bench beneath the trees which surround my garden and watched as these tiny creatures tested everything red and orange for possible treats. I actually saw one of "my" birds as he/she rested for a second on a branch which touched a bunch of flowers. I didn't know these beautiful little bundles of energy ever rested. I think that I read somewhere that their wings move faster than cheetahs run. I wonder why they don't die from tired. I remember saying to my brother "if you don't give me a day off I will die from tired." Naturally he countered with you can sleep when you get old. I just rebutted with the fact that if I didn't sleep now I wouldn't get old.
All these thoughts bring back my intense gratitude for all the blessings of this life above all my recovery which enables me to have a life.
As they say in the program, Thanks for letting me share.
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