Dear God,

Good morning, rain and all. It sounds so comforting on the window pane; reminds me of an Eddie Rabbit Song about rain, which is now blowing in the window, oops!! That's fixed. Why is it that I have this need in me to rise up for unpopular causes even in program? Have I not been in enough controversies over the last 24 years? You tell me what to do with what I can only see as tradition breaks and others see as "I can say whatever I want."

This wonderful gift You have given us brings with it the responsibility to protect and pass it on as given. Oh sure, we can gussie-up what we say as our life experience and still bring topics to our fellows that can be used improperly, not intentionally, but improper just the same. I would say that the traditions are not merely suggestions to be ignored at our whim, but rules by which we protect the 12 steps and our way of life. If I'm out of line here, You will let me know as You have in the past. I wonder if I'll ever be as right as I am wrong. The scale is really tilted. Meanwhile, I can use Your help with me today as I'm going to pick up my OA/AA pal and goof away the day: lunch, a movie and lotsa good conversation. You know I tend to screw up when things are going good. Please watch over and take good care of my family, friends, fellow sufferers, the general population, and the folks I don't like. Allow me to know and do Your will today. Thanks, Big Guy!

And Why Not?
Danny

Hi, I'm Kathi, a gratefully recovering COE.

From the Big Book, pg. 449:

"And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today... I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it supposed to be at this moment."

A morning meditation recently posed a question about how I handle the "mountains" (struggles) that I face differently now that I am in recovery. Do I view it as insurmountable?

What mountains are standing ahead of me that may seem too high to pass over? I love mountains, have even loved hiking them in younger days... hope and pray that I can do so again. But the mountains in my life can sometimes seem overwhelming. If I stand at the foot of the "mountain of parenting", I have a couple of choices. I can either sit there and look up and think of all the challenges that will lie ahead of me in parenting a kid with psychological issues, another who is developmentally delayed (and most likely mildly retarded) and another who may have learning disabilities and is the biggest flirt on the face of the earth.

Now, if I choose that route, I may as well just sit down on a rock and cry. OR I can take a few steps, stop and look at the beauty around me... the wildflowers growing beside the path... the mountain stream that gurgles beside me. When I get winded, I can stop and rest. When I need guidance, I can pull out the compass or a trail map. When it seems I can't go on another day, there will be a night sky filled with stars to remind me of the vastness of the universe and the power of the God who guides it.

I will find no serenity if I do not accept that my three beautiful special-needs children are exactly the way they need to be in this moment. God created them exactly the way they are for a purpose and a reason. While God did not intend for their birth families to abuse or neglect them, God gave them exactly what they need to overcome those obstacles. God will give me the same... the tools I need to parent them. I can find serenity in this where I once would have found only worry and fears.

When those worries come, and they do, I do not have to eat to numb them, or be angry to divert them. I do not have to react to every concern by compulsively eating, or snapping or worrying. I do not have to try to control that which I cannot control. I can choose to put it in God's hands, do what I am able, and let go of the rest. I can focus on what I can do, instead of fretting over what I cannot control. I can notice the beauty of the situation, or the beauty of the person it involves. I can find peace.

This is recovery!

God's Peace,
Kathi

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I am Ellen, COE/GRA and my favorite passage is:

"We are going to know a new freedom....We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it."

Before surrendering to the proven fact that I am a COE, I journaled for years as part of my recovery in the other program. This last week I have been sorting the journals, labeling the binders and marveling at how long I muddled along inching toward OA. ( I have a lot of time on my hands now that I am not living with my head stuck in the refrigerator seeking what I may devour.) As I dipped into pages in these journals for the last few years, one recurring theme was my struggle to remain committed to a healthy lifestyle with food. Any success brought apathy and rebound to demoralization. Pride kept me from OA, until I faced I could not do it alone and needed you guys to show me how to live.

After I found f2f meetings, and admitted my cross addiction other sisters in AA pointed me to the welcoming cyberspace of The Recovery Group. I am grateful for my wilderness time, and that I wrote it all down because it confirms to me what a deep heart desire of mine it was to stop abusing my polio compromised muscles by COE. I don't regret the past since it was the path to freedom. I had never heard of abstinence which then seemed the impossible dream. Arriving in OA did not cure my apathy attacks. After sloppy slipping since May, a man in a meeting shared this quote with me and it sums up the radical change that happened to me this August.

Until one is committed there is hesitancy, a chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative and creation, there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issue from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings and material assistance which no man could have dreamed would come his way. Whatever you do, or dream you can, begin. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now.    ~ Goethe

Serendipity is this very thing. I have seen it in my writing life, and by the grace of God I experience it today since I gave my binge food to the librarian....God meets us in the oddest places. Today, I get it, that service is an essential part of my recovery toolkit, and send this share. I want to give it away to keep my precious baby bird of abstinence.

Blessings,
Ellen B.

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My name is Joanne P, and I am a compulsive overeater. This is my favorite part of the Big Book:

From the Big Book of AA, pg. 163

"Abandon yourself to God as you understand God. Admit your faults to Him and to your fellows. Clear away the wreckage of your past. Give freely of what you find and join us. We shall be with you in the Fellowship of the Spirit, and you will surely meet some of us as you trudge the Road of Happy Destiny."

I am a fellow trudger for certain, still trudging the road to happy destiny, one day at a time.

Many blessings,
Joanne

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From the Big Book of AA, pgs 42-43

"Quite as important was the discovery that spiritual principles would solve all my problems. I have since been brought into a way of living infinitely more satisfying and, I hope, more useful than the life I lived before. My old manner of life was by no means a bad one, but I would not exchange its best moments for the worst I have now. I would not go back to it even if I could."

Coming to "Believe" was very important to me at that time. I was into Bingeing and Purging and I saw no hope for my future. I knew that this could not continue on as it was going. There had to be a change.

I was raised in the church, attended Sunday School every Sunday morning, Bible School every summer, and when a teenager attended my Youth Group of which I was leader, and then an evening Service. I attended revivals, song fests etc. and I loved every minute of it.

So the idea of a Higher Power wasn't knew to me, except for the name of course, so I instinctively just reached out when I heard the "good news" of deliverance that was to be mine by letting this Higher Power that I chose to work in my life in this area as well.

I was able to quit the purging, but developed a new style of "feast or famine." I know that some of us do not look at this as purging, but I must be honest and admit that this is a "form" of purging too. It is going from one "extreme" to the other and if I can open someone else's eyes to this all for the better.

I had a hope at last. This hope has kept me going all of these years, working the steps, depending upon my Higher Power to keep me from going back to the past. I have no desire to go back to that life. What does it have to offer me? Nothing! I can say unequivocally and irrevocably that this is a true statement. I am happy with the life that I have, except for the isolation which has not been of my choosing, but a matter of circumstances due to illness and other things.

I just keep hanging in there, trying to the best of my ability and know-how to carry the message to other compulsive overeaters, and praying for God to clear away the garbage of the past and keep me free.

Best Wishes,
Lizzie

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This is hard because I have so many. I guess one of my favorites is:

From the Big Book of AA, pg.449, in "Doctor, Alcoholic, Addict"

"that nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God's world by mistake."

It reminds me that it's God's world -- He is in charge and I ain't. Just gives me a lot of peace of mind when I remember this.

Vicki B.
Co-coordinator, Pain and Recovery