A Wellspring of Hope
Newsletter of The Recovery Group
October 2003
Volume 5, Issue 10
ser*en*dip*i*ty ~ (noun) First appeared 1754:
the faculty or phenomenon of finding
valuable or agreeable things not sought for.
PLEASE SEND LETTERS TO THE EDITOR TO:
SerendipityNewsletter@yahoo.com
with a Subject of 'Letter to the Editor'
SerendipityNewsletter@yahoo.com
with a Subject of 'Serendipity Article'
TO VIEW Serendipity ONLINE, PLEASE VISIT:
The Serendipity Archives
From Our Editor
Founder's Corner
From the TRG Administration
From Our ODAT Committee
From Our TRG Sponsor Program
Letters to the Editor
Announcements
Kids' Corner
The Twelve Steps of OA, as Adapted for Kids
Teens' Corner
October Loop Spotlights:
Pain ODAT
PMS ODAT
Pregnancy and Motherhood
Rainbow to Abstinence
From The Recovery Group Members
Recovery Writers' Series
From the Literature
Recovery Meditations Calendar
The Recovery Group Online Meetings
Overeaters Anonymous Contacts
Recovery Group Contacts
Serenity Prayer
Dear Serendipity Readers,
Dear Serendipity Readers ~
TRGADM had the privilege of launching two new loops this month. The
first one is "Creative in Recovery" aimed at those of us with our
creative juices flowing, or not flowing, as the case may be. If that
sounds like it might be you, please give it a try. Danielle is the coordinator.
To subscribe, just send a blank email to :
The ODAT/Discovery Loops
We hear of sponsorship as a 'tool for working the steps' and The
Recovery Group takes this tool very seriously.
ANNOUNCING:
Please see the following web sites for information concerning loops
which exist to help kids with eating problems.
STEP 1: We told ourselves that we didn't eat like other boys and girls
and that we could not stop eating when we wanted. We felt different.
TEENS' CORNER
Pain ODAT
PREGNANCY AND MOTHERHOOD
~ FROM OUR EDITOR ~
Welcome! Fall is officially here, and with it comes this October
issue of Serendipity! Leaves are beginning to fall, the air is
getting cooler, and colors are beginning to change. It's my favorite
time of the year!
I hope you enjoy this issue of Serendipity. It covers everything from
service to inspiration: TRG and ODAT loop positions which are open and
waiting for some loving members to take them over, spotlights on just
some of the loops available to join, and articles from fellow members
which have served to inspire. Take note of the Announcement about the
WTS study "12 Steps in 12 Weeks", which starts on October 1st! As
always, we have messages from our administrative trusted servants,
giving the status of their respective domains, and a wonderfully
caring message from Mari, our Founder.
At this time, I would like to invite you to, please, settle back and
enjoy not only the month of October, but also this October 2003 issue
of Serendipity Newsletter. Feel free to respond or send me your
comments; I would love to hear about how TRG and or Serendipity have
made a difference in your life. I welcome all Letters to the Editor,
so bring 'em on!
I send love, in recovery, to you all!
Marty
Editor, SERENDIPITY
Newsletter of The Recovery Group
~ FOUNDER'S CORNER ~ UNFULFILLED NEEDS ~
As we move into the autumn of our year I am reminded of the changes in
the seasons ... and also the changes in ourselves. We begin life so
perfectly, and as the years go by we experience one change after
another. Some of the changes are wonderful .... others not so
wonderful.
A few minutes ago I received a letter that broke my heart. It was
from a compulsive eater, and not unlike letters I have written myself
and have received from others at various times. The letter was from
a young mother in her early 30s and I wondered, as I read it, if the
tears I shed were for her ... for me .... or for all of us. The
letter ended with this poignant question:
" I look at my pictures from the wedding and I could cry. How did I let this happen to myself?"
I responded as I always do ... and what I had to say to this young
woman was less about food and more about needs. It's an age old
debate as to whether or not our sometimes enormous weight gains
are the result of our needs not being met ... or if our needs have
been compromised by our weight gain.
How do we let this happen to ourselves? I'm spending a lifetime
trying to find the answer.
@-}-}-}------
Love in recovery,
Mari
~ FROM OUR TRG ADMINISTRATORS ~
CreativeInRecovery-subscribe-request@lists.therecoverygroup.org
Our second new loop is DepressionODAT. The name of the loop is self-
explanatory. Depression can have a devastating effect on compulsive
eaters, and talking about it to others who understand can help a great
deal. Sharon is the coordinator.
To join this loop, send a blank email to:
DepressionODAT-subscribe-request@lists.therecoverygroup.org
An ongoing project every month is filling every open Trusted Servant
position. We have made some good progress this month with several
volunteers for webservant, 12th step within, and coordinator positions.
Thank you to all who are serving. If you would like to serve, please
write:
TRGAdm@TheRecoveryGroup.org
http://www.TheRecoveryGroup.org
or the coordinator of the loop in which you are interested.
With love,
Mari and Sande
TRGADM administrators
~ FROM OUR ODAT ADMINISTRATION ~
Hi, everyone!
It seems unbelieveable that it is another month since I accepted the
job as Chair of the ODAT Committee. Mari and Sande have been such a
help and support as I begin to learn more about what is need to help
our groups grow and thrive as a team.
We see this as a 'together job' - not just administrative, but we
(YOU and us) are one whole at the end of the day. We still need more
Coordinators for some of our loops, and if anyone reading this feels
he/she would like to volunteer please contact me (or Mari and Sande)
and we can explain to you what that entails. Of course there are
other jobs equally important, especially that of putting our URLS
onto search engines on a regular basis. This is a five-minute job
and is very easy to do. As always, your help with this would be much
appreciated.
But while search engines are the way we reach the 'compulsive eater
still suffering,' we (YOU and the Admin team) mustn't forget the
'compulsive eater still suffering' already within our midst
belonging to loops, but n ot sharing. Why aren't they sharing? If
they are still members, why are they still members? I believe it is
because one day someone will share something they can identify with
and at last the Higher Power of their understanding will talk
directly to them and they don't want to miss it! So share, please
share if you belong to a loop. Share from the heart as if you sat
in front of your dearest friend. I have seen seemingly 'dead' loops
spring to life when someone says that one thing a team of people
identify with. YOU can make a difference. YOU are so special that
your HP has chosen YOU to save lives and in doing so, save your own,
one day at a time.
Thanks for the opportunity to work with all of you and be of service.
Love, and in fellowship,
Marl
Chair, ODAT Committee
http://www.TheRecoveryGroup.org/odat/index.html
Perhaps the steps are written as 'we' admitted....'we' came to believe
...etc....to let us know that the steps are not traveled alone but with
the help and encourgement of our Sponsor and the Fellowship.
The TRG Online Sponsor Program is designed to help each member find a
Sponsor who will be most helpful in traveling this 'proven, workable
method' and thus become free from compulsive eating one day at a time.
Our Sponsors are members who are 'living the Twelve Steps and Twelve
Traditions to the best of their ability and have become willing to
share their recovery with other members of this Recovery Community.
In The Recovery Group we want you to know that you are no longer alone
....the hand of friendship and love is extended to all those who want
recovery...and Sponsorship is one of the ways we make this available
to all who need it.
This is from Overeaters Anonymous:
"Sponsorship is one of the vital keys to success in OA (and the
Recovery Group). The sponsor maintains recovery from compulsive
overeating by sharing the Twelve Step program with others. The
newcomer, in reaching out for help from a successful Recovery member,
transcends the long-held idea that self-sufficiency must be maintained
at all costs ~ and acquires a state of humility so necessary for the
practice of the Twelve Steps. The sponsor and the newcomer benefit
equally from the relationship. The best way to learn to be a sponsor
is to have a sponsor."
To find out more about The Recovery Group's Sponsor Program please
check out this webpage:
http://www.TheRecoveryGroup.org/sponsors.html
With love and great JOY in service,
Dreena, Sponsor Coordinator
The Recovery Group Sponsor Program Trusted Servants
www.TheRecoveryGroup.org
SUBMITTING LETTERS
Letters to the Editor are encouraged and welcomed.
Please send your letter to
SerendipityNewsletter@yahoo.com.
Please put 'Letter to the Editor' in the subject line.
~ NEW 'TWELVE STEPS IN TWELVE WEEKS' TO BEGIN OCTOBER 1ST ~
The 4th Quarter WTS Twelve Steps in Twelve Weeks will begin on October
1st and end on December 31st. We have had an extraordinary year ...
perhaps the best ever!
Each quarter a different Step Leader guides the members of WTS through
the Twelve Steps as they share their experience, strength and hope
together. Inspired by the questions the Step Leader asks at the end
of each week, members take comfort in knowing that they are not alone.
We want to thank our appreciation to Penny, the current WTS Step
Leader. She has done, as she always does, a terrific job. Thank you,
Penny.
On October 1st, Tami will begin the final Step Study of the year.
Tami is deeply devoted to her recovery program and her life will
unfold as she shares her experience with you, reminding everyone that
there is so much hope available to us as compulsive eaters through the
Twelve Steps.
To join WTS, please send an e-mail to:
Listserv@maelstrom.stjohns.edu
no subject
Subscribe WTS FirstName LastInitial
Sponsors are available through the Recovery Group's sponsor program.
You can let your needs be known to all the sponsors at once, as well as
request a sponsor, by writing to:
RecoverySponsors@yahoogroups.com
You can also get a copy of the Sponsor Directory and the biographies by writing to:
Sponsors@TheRecoveryGroup.org.
Dreena and Patt are the Sponsor
Coordinators.
The Trusted Servants of WTS are: Barb (Co-coordinator), Tami (Co-coordinator),
Jo (Greeter) and Norma (12th Step Within).
Hope to see you on October 1st.
In loving service to all,
The Trusted Servants of WTS
The Recovery Group
http://www.TheRecoveryGroup.org
is a loop that offers help with eating disorders; a place where kids
are welcomed with open arms and listened to by other kids with the
same sort of problems. What these kids cannot do alone, they _can_
do together.
To find out more, please visit:
http://recovery.hiwaay.net/discovery/kids/index.html
You can also find Kids and Discovery at:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/KidsAndDiscovery/. You can join from
these pages, too!
is a loop for parents who have children with eating problems.
It is a place for them to share and discuss the problems their
children are experiencing. For more information, please see:
http://recovery.hiwaay.net/cokids/index.html.
~ TWELVE STEPS, ADAPTED FOR KIDS ~
STEP 2: We thought that God could help us stop thinking about food so
much.
STEP 3: We decided to stop worrying about food and let God help us with
our problems. (Some people use the words Higher Power instead of God.)
STEP 4: We wrote down everything we ever did that bothered us.
STEP 5: We read our list to God (Higher Power), then to a person who
cares about us.
STEP 6: We felt ready for God to take away the sad or upsetting things
we do.
STEP 7: We honestly asked our Higher Power to take away the sad or
upsetting things we do.
STEP 8: We wrote down the names of people we had hurt and felt ready
to say we were sorry.
STEP 9: We told these people that we were sorry, unless it would hurt
them or others. We tried to make up for what we had done.
STEP 10: Every day we thought about how we acted and how we could
improve..
STEP 11: We asked God what to do and for help to do it.
STEP 12: Because it had helped us, we told people about OA and the
twelve steps when they asked. We kept using the steps everyday.
Hi, everyone!
Teens is still ticking along with some teens now sharing a little to
each other which is great. Sadly, we are losing Cyndi as
Co-cordinator of this loop but we wish her well, and have hope that
someone will be brave enough to take the job on.
There are so many teens out there in the big, wide world, and as part
of Recovery we have access to so many of them and are in the position
of being able to be there for them so they know they don't have to
struggle on alone. At TeensODAT they have a safe place in which
to vent, to support and be supported, and to help keep their disease
of compulsive eating at bay for one more day.
If anyone feels they would be able to help as co-coordinator of this
very special loop with so much potential, please do contact me on:
dietrich12000@yahoo.com.
Love,
Marl
Coordinator
TeensODAT
[ Editor's note: For information, please see:
http://recovery.hiwaay.net/special/teens.html. To join TeensODAT, send an empty email to:
TeensODAT-subscribe-request@lists.therecoverygroup.org
]
~ OCTOBER LOOP SPOTLIGHTS ~
PainODAT is a very special loop. Its membership consists of some very
special people who bravely practice their 12 step program and day to
day abstinence from compulsive eating while suffering, in some cases,
very bad pain. It can be bad enough to be a compulsive eater alone at
home, in pain, sometimes to the point of tears, but to be a compulsive
eater in recovery under those conditions can be a real struggle. At
PainODAT members have a chance to air their feelings and share their
hopes and strengths, and together hold each other up.
To find out more, please visit:
http://recovery.hiwaay.net/odat/pain/index.html
or
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/PainODAT/.
To join, please send a blank email to:
PainODAT-subscribe-request@lists.therecoverygroup.org.
The PMS ODAT (One Day at a Time) group/loop is a place where those who
have compulsive behaviors towards food, but also experience PMS issues,
can meet with others who suffer, to share our experience, strength and
hope with one another. One of the nice things about our loop is you
are accepted, understood and loved, exactly the way you are.
PMS is biochemical and can be treated. It is not a joke and you
aren't crazy. If you're going through a PMS crisis, we understand. If
your abstinence has been threatened by PMS, we've been there. If mood
swings make your recovery harder each month and your life miserable,
we know where you're coming from. You will meet a bunch of
"strangers" here, but you will find that these strangers may become
some of the best friends you will ever have in your life.
To read more, please visit:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/PMS_ODAT/,
or
http://recovery.hiwaay.net/odat/pms/index.html.
To join PMS ODAT, please send a blank email to:
PMS_ODAT-subscribe-request@lists.therecoverygroup.org.
Pregnancy and Motherhood ODAT is a special group designed to be of
service to those who are pregnant or mothers, and need a safe place to
relate to others in the same situation and also COEs. It's a place
where you can share your joys as well as your struggles. It's a place
where you can gain strength from others in the group. It's a place
where you may truly bond to the others in the small group, and it may
well become another family to you. To be a member of this group is
truly like being a member of a family. You will get to know others
well in this group, and you, yourself, will get to be known. This
group is special because the members take a special interest in each
other's recovery, and are able to relate to you on many counts, many
times over. You are understood and loved for who you are in this group.
Please feel free to join us and share your ESH on recovery and
pregnancy or motherhood!! We welcome you with open arms!
To read more, please visit:
http://recovery.hiwaay.net/odat/pregnancy/index.html
or
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/pregnancyandmotherhoodODAT.
To join, please send a blank email to:
PregnancyAndMotherhoodODAT-subscribe-request@lists.therecoverygroup.org.
RAINBOW TO ABSTINENCE
Rainbow to Abstinence is a 12-step loop focused on gays, lesbians,
bisexuals and transgendered persons who are recovering from compulsive
overeating. In a society where GLBT compulsive overeaters often have
to cope with a double portion of incomprehension, censure and prejudice,
Rainbow to Abstinence provides a safe haven for our members to discuss
and receive support on issues related to both our orientation and our
recovery.
If you would like to subscribe, or know someone who would benefit
from this loop,
simply send a blank e-mail to:
RainbowToAbstinence-subscribe-request@lists.therecoverygroup.org.
Of course, you can also visit our webpages at:
http://recovery.hiwaay.net/odat/rainbow/index.html,
or
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/RainbowToAbstinence/.
~ FROM OUR RECOVERY GROUP MEMBERS ~
When I found the "10 Rules for a Good Day" in my mailbox, they struck
a chord with me. They were not "OA-Approved", so to speak, but they
reminded me of the "Just For Today" that has been around for ever. I
saved "The Rules" in my inspiration folder for a good day, and I
re-read it often to remind myself that today can be a good day; it all
starts with my attitude. I do not know to whom to credit them; I got
them from the Internet. I hope that maybe they may inspire others as
they have me.
In light and love,
Lorrie, COE
~ TEN RULES FOR A GOOD DAY ~
If someone is rude, if someone is impatient, if someone is unkind...I
will not respond in a like manner.
If I come across someone who treats me harshly or unfairly, I will
quietly ask God to bless that individual. I understand the "enemy"
could be a family member, neighbor, co-worker, or a stranger.
I will carefully choose and guard my words being certain that I do not
spread gossip.
I will find ways to help share the burden of another person.
I will forgive any hurts or injuries that come my way.
I will reach out anonymously and bless the life of another.
I will practice the golden rule - "Do unto others as I would have them
do unto me" - with everyone I encounter.
My smile, my words, my _expression of support, can make the difference
to someone who is wrestling life.
I will eat less; I will eat only healthy foods. I will thank God for
my body.
I will spend a little more time in prayer today: I will begin reading
something spiritual or inspirational today; I will find a quiet place
(at some point during the day) and listen to my Higher Power's voice!
~ Recovery Inspirations ~
In this column we bring you shares from Recovery Meditations,
Odyssey, Danny's "Letters To God", Journey to Recovery, Reflections,
The Promises and many others. This month we will begin three months
of highlighting "Recovery Inspirations", a collection of twenty
different writings which we hope will inspire you. Most of the
inspirations are unknown, so if you can identify the author of any,
please let us know so the appropriate credit can be given. The first
Inspiration we have chosen to highlight is called "Harley, Living
in the Moment".
HARLEY
Living in the Moment
This morning I am taking Harley, our puppy dog, to Happy Tails. Happy Tails is a "doggie daycare" type of place. They have play equipment for the dogs. They romp and play and pee all over the place. Between 11 and 1, they have "siesta" time. They get a snack, the lights are dimmed and classical music is played. We take him once a month when it isn't too hot outside. He absolutely loves it and we do that because we love him.
This got me to thinking about how much Harley lives in the moment. He eats when he is hungry. He drinks when he is thirsty. He pees when he has to pee. He plays when he is playful. He rests when he is tired. The thing he does the best is to give love and joy to whomever he comes in contact with; well, with the exception of the cat across the road, or the squirrels that sometimes wander into our yard. He loves to bark and chase them.
This weekend I experienced a panic attack. I don't get them much any more, but occasionally one will creep up on me. I thought I was going to get sick or pass out right in the middle of Juanita K. Hammonds Center. Because of where I was at, I felt penned in. The tools I learned at a panic attack seminar weren't working for me. I did the deep breathing. I prayed about it. I just couldn't get the picture out of my mind, though, of how embarrassed I would be if I puked right there in front of people I knew and a whole lot of strangers.
As I thought of the panic attack and Harley going to Happy Tails, I was aware of how Harley lives in the moment and how I didn't live in the moment during my panic attack. I was worried about "what if", and Harley simply enjoys "what is".
I don't think Harley feels fear very often. He gets a little nervous when there is loud thunder. When that happens, he finds Mike or me and gets close. We pet him and he quiets down. Other than that, there is little that scares Harley. He's living in the moment too much.
As I thought of that, I realized that Mike and I are kind of like Harley's "Higher Power". He knows we will take care of him. He knows we have always made sure he's fed and taken care of. I know he feels our love. We are his source for everything. I know Mike and I would do anything to make sure he is protected and taken care of because we love him so much.
With that thought in mind, how much more must our Higher Power love us? My God loves me so much that he wants to make sure I am protected and taken care of because He loves me so much. God is my source. Sometimes I forget, and try to make "me" my source. That's what happened on Saturday. Should I have actually gotten sick in front of everyone, God would have still taken care of me. There would have been a lesson in it for me.
Today, I will work on living in the moment. Most days and moments I do that well. I will learn from Harley today. I will eat when I am hungry. I will drink when I am thirsty, I will pee when I need to. I will show love when I feel it. The only thing different that I will do is to smile instead of wag my tail when I am happy, and drink out of a glass instead of the toilet!
Have a great "living in the moment" kind of day, unless of course you have other plans!
Cyberhugs,
Linda
~ FROM THE LITERATURE ~
Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
Our group has no opinion on outside issues; hence the Overeaters Online Recovery Group name ought never be drawn into public controversy.
Hi, everyone. Often when sharing my Big Book passage with others, some people can't identify with the share as they don't have a problem with alcohol. I'd like to take the opportunity to share by paraphrasing and making it personal. Here is what I mean:
"And I have ceased fighting anything or anyone--even compulsive eating. For by this time sanity will have returned. I will seldom be interested in my trigger foods. If tempted, I recoil from it as from a hot flame. I react sanely and normally, and I will find that this has happened automatically. I will see that my new attitude toward compulsive eating habits has been given me without any thought or effort on my part..it just comes. That is the miracle of it. I am not fighting it, neither am I avoiding temptation. I feel as though I have been placed in a position of neutrality--safe and protected. I have not sworn off. Instead, the problem has been removed. It does not exist for me. I am neither cocky nor am I afraid. That is my experience. That is how I react so long as I keep in fit spiritual condition."(Adapted from) Alcoholics Anonymous Big Book, Pp. 84-85 (all editions)
~ RECOVERY MEDITATIONS ~
~
October Meditations Calendar ~
(http://www.therecoverygroup.org/meditations/october.html)
THE RECOVERY GROUP ONLINE MEETINGS
Telephone 505-891-2664
~ THE RECOVERY GROUP MEETINGS ~
CAN YOU SPARE AN HOUR A WEEK?
We need your help for a wonderful line-up of online meetings beginning
October 1st. We will be working on a schedule of meetings every three
hours around the clock every day, and are well on our way to meeting
that goal. This will make it possible for those in time zones around
the world to participate both as leaders and attendees. Will you help
by volunteering an hour or two or three a week? It's easy, it gives
you a good feeling by helping others, and it's fun!
The doorway-to-the-meetings-picture is at the top of the page at
http://www.therecoverygroup.org.
All you have to do is click it, and
you'll be in the meeting room. The times are 12 noon, 3PM, 6PM, 9PM,
12 midnight 3AM, 6AM, and 9AM. These are Eastern times, and all
meetings are held in #Recovery on IRC with a doorway located here:
http://www.therecoverygroup.org.
We hope as many of you as possible will write us back and let us know
if you can help from October 1st until the term ends on December 31st.
Please don't be shy ... meetings are easy and rewarding to lead.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
SEND TO
MtgAdm@lists.TheRecoveryGroup.org
Yes, count me in. I'd like to lead a meeting at the following times:
___________________________________________
Name _____________________________________
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
To reach the Recovery Group website:
Or, go
directly to the meeting webpage at:
http://therecoverygroup.org/meetings/index.html.
For AOL members, there is a direct link to #Recovery:
#Recovery on StarChat.Network. AOL users need to first go
to the Meeting website and look at the special instructions
for AOL users before they can fully participate in the
meetings or they can go to:
http://www.starchat.net/aol.php.
#Recovery is the meeting room for Recovery Group. There
is a doorway to #Recovery on the Recovery Group website,
www.therecoverygroup.org. The meeting room can be directly
accessed by going to either of these sites:
http://www.starchat.net/recovery
or
http://www.starchat.net/chat/?chan=recovery.
You can find other helpful information, including on-line
meeting protocols at:
http://recovery.hiwaay.net/support/meetings.html.
~ OVEREATERS ANONYMOUS CONTACTS ~
World Service Office (WSO)
6075 Zenith Ct. NE
PO Box 44020
Rio Rancho, NM 87124
USA
Fax: 505-891-4320
http://www.overeatersanonymous.org/index.htm
E-Mail Address ~
info@overeatersanonymous.org
"I put my hand in yours ...
and together we can do what we could never do alone."
~ Rozanne, OA CoFounder ~
Is the realization that recovery begins when we find one another."
~~ The Serenity Prayer ~~
Grant us the SERENITY to accept the things we cannot change;
The COURAGE to change the things we can;
And the WISDOM to know the difference.
What we could never do alone ~
We can do together.
One day at a time, ~
One step at a time.
Disclaimer
The Recovery Group and our newsletter has as its mission and purpose that of carrying the message of recovery to those who suffer from the disease of compulsive eating. We are an anonymous organization and follow the 12 Steps and 12 Traditions of Overeaters Anonymous; however, we are not affiliated with that group. Your articles, announcements and information are welcome. All opinions in this newsletter represent only the opinions of the writers and not necessarily that of The Recovery Group or OA, Inc.
Volume 5 Issue 10 © Copyright 2003 THE RECOVERY GROUP All rights reserved.