Dear friends in recovery,
Welcome to the November issue of Serendipity! It's hard to believe that
we have been doing this for a year now, and that Serendipity will soon be
celebrating its first birthday. We invite all of you to contact us and
let us know what you think of your newsletter, what you like and what
you'd like to see changed. And as always, we invite all of you to take
the time to share your experience, strength and hope with other compulsive
eaters around the world. Believe me, the rewards are well worth the work!
In this month's edition, TRG founder Mari writes about why we are here in
this fellowship together. Anne, TRG meetings coordinator, lets us know
about the changes in two meetings, one focusing on our very own Recovery
meditations, and the other a change in time for the newcomer's meeting.
Our loop spotlight of the month is Meditations and Recovery, which is a
"brand new discussion list, where compulsive eaters share their
experience, strength and hope on topics inspired by the daily Recovery
Meditations of the Recovery Group." And in the Tools of Recovery, Thumper
writes about the importance of meetings in her program.
Recovery Group member Geri writes about her trigger food, sugar, and how
she has struggled with her addiction through recovery and relapse. Jim D.
shares with us about compulsive eating and loneliness. Stacey writes
about staying sober in the hard times. Danny writes, in his own special
and wonderful way, about 12 Step recovery. And Jo shares with us her
"rambling thoughts" from her journal. We are blessed to have so many
recovering COEs sharing their ESH with us in such special ways . . ..
We have included the Eleventh Step Prayer in the Literature section. A
Call to Action asks all of us to take the time to find a special quotation
and write a meditation for this wonderful Recovery Group project of
putting together a book of 365 daily meditations written by TRG members.
This
month's edition ends with a list of on-line meetings, OA and TRG contacts,
and the Serenity Prayer.
We hope you have enjoyed the first year of Serendipity, and that it helps
in some small way in your journey to recovery. If Serendipity has made
even a small difference in your recovery, please take the time to pass
that gift on by sharing your ESH with the rest of us. Take a few minutes
to make a difference in the lives of other recovering COEs!
Love in recovery,
Suzanne,
Editor
SERENDIPITY
Why are we here in this fellowship together? I've thought of that
question so many times and could probably make a list of dozens of
reasons; however, there is really only one main reason. We want help for
what we have come to know as a disease ... a disease that we didn't ask
for, that we don't want, that is not our fault and that we can't do
anything about alone.
So why don't we just go to a doctor, get a pill and move on and live our
life? The answer is simple. The reason is because this disease is
debilitating, cunning, serious and baffling, and no doctor on earth has a
pill or a procedure to cure it because it is incurable.
If you wanted to hear something other than that, I'm sorry. And that
brings me back to why there is a Recovery Group and why you and I are
here. Some diseases can be treated singularly ... someone can be alone in
a hospital room or treatment center ... and they can walk out of there
well. This is not one of those diseases. We need others ... others who
have been through the very same thing we are going through and who have
experienced the emotional, the spiritual and the physical devastation we
have felt. We need others who have worked the Twelve Steps before us and
who have found the extraordinary serenity that comes only in recovery. We
need those who have had a spiritual awakening and known the blissful
feeling of long term abstinence and the release of half their body weight.
We need to know that 24 hours a day, seven days a week there is another
compulsive eater we can share our problems, our hopes, our dreams and our
goals with. And we find it in this community of men and women called The
Recovery Group.
In the deepest part of a compulsive eater's soul . . . is the realization
that recovery begins when we find one another.
It has been yet another busy month of meetings, with a few meeting leaders
having to leaving us due to travel, illness and life changes, to be
replaced by new meeting leaders joining us to carry the message of 12 Step
recovery to COEs in our meetings.
One of the changes to our meetings is that the focus of the 10.30am
meeting has been changed to be a Recovery Meditation meeting. During
2000, the Recovery Meditations Committee has coordinated the development
of beautiful meditations which are written by our members, distributed
each day into your intray and have been developed into a wonderful website
at
http://recovery.hiwaay.net//meditations/index.html. Now we wish to
extend these meditations one step further and base our morning meetings on
the meditations. To share in these wonderful meetings, log onto #Recovery,
every morning at 10.30am US EST.
The other change in meetings is that our Newcomers meeting has a new time
~ Friday at 11.00PM US EST. Hopefully, this will prove to be a more
suitable time for all ~ for the newcomers to come and share their
questions, and for long term members to come and share their ESH. I
welcome all of you, whether you have been in the program a day or 10
years, to come and share your ESH in our Newcomers meeting, Friday night
at 11.00PM US EST in #Recovery.
The Meditations and Recovery Loop is a brand new discussion list, where
compulsive eaters share their experience, strength and hope on topics
inspired by the daily Recovery Meditations of the Recovery Group.
Right now, we have approximately 50 loop members. If you think you would
find it interesting to examine issues in your recovery and your life that
arise from reading the daily meditations, please join us. The only
requirements to join our loop is a desire to quit eating compulsively. We
come together to understand ourselves and our illness better by sharing
with our fellows in an environment of safety, serenity and support.
~ FROM THE
RECOVERY GROUP MEMBERS ~
Sugar is the main trigger food that causes me to overeat. I have been
this way since I was a small child. When I came to my 12 step group for
compulsive overeating in July 1995, someone mentioned it would be good to
identify my trigger foods and abstain from them. I was obsessing and
bingeing with food and was desperately ready to change. So I became
abstinent from sugar for almost 3 years. I committed to the H.O.W. food
plan and found a sponsor right away, and over time lost all excess weight.
I felt great physically, emotionally and spiritually.
As years went by, I deluded myself that I was safe and started to drink
wine and eat a little bit of sugar in foods that I hadn't had in years.
The year 1999 was also very stressful for me. My Mom got cancer and had a
mastectomy, my Dad had a heart attack, and I fell and broke my tail bone,
all within three months . . . and life just kept handing me more. I had my
first anxiety attacks due to stress.
I kidded myself that I deserved sweet foods. In a year and a half I had
put almost all of the weight back on, and was miserable and out of control
with sugar. I was still going to my meetings, but it was so hard to get
complete abstinence back. Hanging on by my fingernails was no fun. I kept
praying to my Higher Power for help all through the year. Suddenly it
was my time to really mean business with my program again. I had no other
recourse.
One of the things that helped me at this turning point was that I found
the HOW & Recovery Loop at The Recovery Group. I searched the net for
H.O.W. and found my way back to the food plan that had worked for me in
the beginning. I got an online sponsor, and that has been an incredible
gift. I've found that sharing at this forum and others helps me to do
service every day, and it is a big part of my recovery.
I know I am a sugar addict. I treat it as I would any substance an addict
can abuse. It ruins my life -- it is simply not worth having. I have
been completely off sugar since New Year's Day, as well as white flour and
alcohol (which apparently turns into glucose once it hits the bloodstream,
setting up cravings). I know I can live without these foods because I
have done it before. It's an easier, more gentle way to live life, a gift
I give myself today.
Isolation is the biggest part of this disease because of the shame it
makes me feel. So I need the continued help of my support group, my
sponsor and sponsee. And I am most willing to do the 12 step work daily.
I can't tell you how great it feels to be clear headed and losing all that
weight again. I believe in my Higher Power's timing, and this has been an
invaluable
lesson to re-learn. I feel stronger and more committed because of it.
Blessings and hugs...
Geri

Hi,
My name is Jim D., and I live in Toronto . . . and to tell the truth, I
will eat anything that doesn't eat me first.
Genuine mercy impels me to accept my ineffective eating habits. Where is
it written in stone that I am a bad guy because I eat to fill the hole of
loneliness? For me, it's a fact that I am lonely, yet being lonely is not
the end of the world. Actually, it is during the moments of intense
loneliness that I learn the most about myself, if only I will listen.
It is imperative that I get to know myself. And that self is always
out there, it's just that I don't see it. As an example, I am a very
generous person with my time, money and energy . . . and yes, I have given
the shirt off my back. Another example is that, over the years, I've
always managed to keep myself and my home clean and presentable. My mind
is keen and my intellectual curiosity is unending, even though I am a high
school drop-out. And change . . . ah, change, I am excellent at accepting
it, and I am so proud of that reality. But, when it comes to ineffective
eating, I get stuck and I spin my wheels . . . can't seem to change, but
I will not sweat that.
I've been free from alcohol for 25 years, and from nicotine for 20 years.
But just because I no longer drink or smoke does not say I have rid myself
of the effects of those destructive behaviors. In many ways, I have not
matured and I have not stuck to the principles of recovery . . . but then,
perfection is not the name of the game . . . progress is.
Back to the food thing again. There are times when a candy bar (or 10)
have saved me from despair, when so called junk food has comforted me
during times of great pain. I am grateful to have had access to these
remedies during times of need. For whatever reason, my food binges get me
through some really lonely times. Thank you, Mr. Oreo. My body? How
does it look? Well, it has two eyes that see, two arms and hands that
work, two legs and feet that do their job. If you saw me, you'd say jeez,
that guy has all his parts working well for him: no wheelchair, no
crutches, no seeing-eye dog, no cane required. What more does he need?
He's a very lucky guy, you would conclude.
My loneliness is more a case of my isolating from others. You see, I just
don't get along well with others, except on superficial terms. I don't
know why this is, but likely it is associated with my immaturity. On the
occasions I find myself in groups I enjoy, I can run, skip, sing and dance
with the best of them . . . those times are rare. Generally, when I find
myself in groups, negative thinking takes over, and it is best if I get on
my own again.
I'm ok, I have a right to be here, my ticket to be on the planet is
valid . . . but I *am* me, and I am *not* you, or that *other* person. I
learned that during the periods of my greatest loneliness. It's a good
thing.
Jim

Staying sober in the hard times ~
Because I'm addict, it is during the hard times that I have to watch
myself, and to try to keep the loop and the friends that I have met on the
loop in mind. I have recently had one of those hard times, and I would
like to thank the people at the loop meetings for the help and the
strength they provided. I lost one of my best friends . . . she passed
away . . . and all I wanted to do was to go and get something to take the
pain away so that I didn't have to feel the pain in my heart any more. I
felt that if I
got high, it would take all the pain I was feeling away. But instead I
got on the loop and went to a meeting lead by Danny, and he and the other
people at the meeting made me realize that the only person that I would be
hurting if I used was myself, that it was not going to bring my friend
back, and that the pain would still be there in the morning. So I
stopped and thought, and by the time the meeting was over I felt that I
didn't need to use, and that I could go through this mourning period
without the drugs, and that I would always have my friend in my heart so
she would really never be gone. So i would like again to personally thank
all the people at the meeting, and to say that the meetings are great if
you need a friend and someone who understands.
Love,
Stacey

12 STEP RECOVERY
The woman God sent to run my life has a name, and I have been instructed
to use it every now and then or pay dearly for the ability to defy her.
As I sat in my favorite chair sipping a late morning coffee, Gloria
reminded me that my blood pressure had increased greatly during our trip
to the nation's capitol. My instructions were to avoid reading any
newspapers or watching any TV related to news or, worse yet, commentary.
I was reminded that my main problem in life is me, and the road to fix me
is in this 12 step recovery of mine. As I made a feeble attempt to argue,
the hand of authority was raised. Hold your tongue and remember how
peaceful you are when living in the steps, accepting all things, people,
places and events as being exactly as they should be. Do only as your God
directs and be helpful, not spiteful, mean and arrogant. The truth hurts.
OUCH!!
I'm no longer amazed which direction or person my God uses to set my feet
on the right path. Page 449 in the Alcoholics Anonymous Big Book was
written especially for me. While I am many things to many people and a
living legend in my own mind, I am a compulsive overeater and doomed to
suffer should I listen to me instead of God. Oh, yes, and Gloria also.
AND WHY NOT?
---Danny

Rambling thoughts from my journal:
The great gift of serenity comes when we finally acknowledge HP in our
lives. The HP of truth and justice. The HP that gets things done
his/her way. If I want a more serene life, I need to let go and follow
HP in all things, from setting up the chairs at a meeting, to writing
my journal, to spending time with grand kids. Times will be as hectic as
I let them become. That is why I must remember this is HP's show, not
mine. HP has the clout to do things the way HP wants them done. I will
take the path of the follower. My job will be easier.
One way to help myself is to stay abstinent through all these incidents
and activities. Let HP be the leader, me the follower. The job will be
done right. HP, today I ask for willingness to do your work. You supply
the ideas and I will supply the body to get the work done. Please help my
abstinence today.
Jo

~ FROM THE LITERATURE ~
Eleventh Step Prayer
Higher Power, as I understand You, I pray to keep my connection with You
open and clear from the confusion of daily life. Through my prayers and
meditation I ask especially for freedom from self-will, rationalization
and wishful thinking. I pray for the guidance of correct thought and
positive action. Your will, Higher Power, not mine, be done.
