"I know God will not give me anything I cannot handle.
I just wish He didn't trust me so much."

    . . . Mother Teresa

There was a time when I asked God to handle only the impossible. How dare I ask someone as busy and important as God to help me with a simple thing like food? After all, this was just a matter of using a little will-power ... of pushing myself back from the table. Or so I had been told. As I began to trust my Twelve Step program more and more, I found myself turning issues which triggered my compulsive eating over to God. It was with great relief that I began to surrender my food and other problems to Him. It was with enormous gratitude that I realized what a gift it was finally to be able to give up control and put my life in my Higher Power's hands.

ONE DAY AT A TIME ...
I relinquish control of my food.
I relinquish control of people.
I relinquish control of my life.

FOUNDER'S CORNER ~ MAY

OUTSIDE INTEREST

For me, May is one of the most beautiful months of the year. I've always looked at it as the last month of work before a long vacation. This is not true any longer, of course ... but I used to be a teacher and the decades of teaching set into motion a mind-set that this was the way things were supposed to be. I still tend to reassess things in May and I am going to do that in this article.

As part of my reassessment, I, and a lot of others who serve here, have had to take a hard look at what The Recovery Group is - and - isn't. A few months ago, someone wrote and wanted to know if we were an "Outside Interest?" US? Of course, not. How could a wall-to-wall 12 Step Community like the one we spend daily time in be even considered to be an "outside interest?" Mind boggling ridiculous!

We began to be told that we couldn't have our 12 Step Study translated into languages and sent to our members. Then there were some complaints that our meeting leaders were announcing our Big Book, Newcomer events and 12 Step Studies to members attending our meetings and that by doing so that we were violating Tradition Four? NO WAY! If we couldn't do that, how were we going to carry the message that we were trying to convey by WTS and the Big Book Study and the Newcomer's Orientation?!

So, I read and re-read Tradition Four and based on my interpretation and that of many others, our beloved TRG community honors this tradition as we do all the traditions. After all, they've been our guidelines for over a decade of 12 Step service.

After months of discussions, we have an answer to give to those dozens of you who wrote letters to us and to OA about the subject of Founder's Corner this month. Yes! The answer is YES. The Recovery Group is not OA. It is not part of OA. It is not affiliated with OA. It is not endorsed, sanctioned or approved by OA. OA has no opinion of The Recovery Group. The OA Board of Trustees interprets Tradition Four in this way. TRG does not. We accept that we are an Outside Interest to OA. But let me unequivocally say that OA will never be an Outside Interest to The Recovery Group.

Happy May, Loopies.

@-}-}-}------
Love in recovery,
Mari

My favorite promise is,"We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us." Yet now it baffles me that intuition seems to evade me. In fact, I've been praying for the right answer per Chapter 6, page 86, of the Big Book:

In thinking about our day we may face indecision. We may not be able to determine which course to take. Here we ask God for inspiration, an intuitive thought or a decision. We relax and take it easy. We don't struggle. We are often surprised how the right answers come after we have tried this for a while.

The Recovery Loops Division is made up of TRG's Twelve-step general sharing support groups. Our common mission is to provide a safe and supportive space for anyone who wants to recover from the disease of compulsive eating to share their experience, strength, and hope with others. In addition, some of these loops also have a special focus. The loops that make up this Division are: Anorexia and Bulimia, The Big Book, 200 Plus, Journey to Recovery, Meditations, OA Friends, OA Newcomers, OA Recovery, Relapse, Sponsor-Sponsee-Talk, Working the Steps ("WTS"), and WTS Weekly.

WTS began a new 12 Step Study in April. A new OA Newcomers Orientation session also began in April. It is not too late to join either of these groups.

Several of the Recovery Group Loops are in need of coordinators. One of these loops is the 200 Plus loop. The 200 Plus Loop focuses on compulsions and addictions relating to food. Most of our members weigh over 200 pounds... some of them considerably over that.... and this is our place to discuss the problems that come about with the disease we suffer from. We have dreams and goals and through the process of working towards these dreams and goals we hope to reach them. Although many of our members are also members of Overeaters Anonymous (OA) and other world-wide groups, the only requirement for being a member of 200 Plus is to have the desire to quit compulsively overeating. This was an active loop until it lost its coordinators at the beginning of the year. If you would be interested in becoming a coordinator or coordinator-in-training, please contact me at cheryl_stanley@msn.com. If you aren't interested in a coordinator service position but would consider sending welcome and/or farewell letters or posting daily topics, please contact me as well.

I know that giving service by being a coordinator of a loop has added a lot to my own recovery and hope that you will consider this opportunity to give service. If you are interested in becoming a coordinator or coordinator in training for one of the other Recovery Group Loops, please contact me at the email address below.

Respectfully submitted,

CherylS, Chair
The Recovery Group Loops Division

WHAT DOES A SPONSOR DO?

• A sponsor's primary responsibility is to help a sponsee work the 12 Steps.
• A sponsor helps us work the 12 Steps by providing explanation, guidance and encouragement.
• A sponsor helps us get established quickly in our
• Fellowship by explaining basic concepts and terminology and by introducing us to other members.
• A sponsor is a safe person whom we can learn to trust.
• A sponsor can answer the many questions that we can have as newcomers or develop as "mid-timers."
• A sponsor can help us in the process of self examination that the Steps require.
• A sponsor encourages us to read the basic text of our Fellowship and other program literature and to engage in Fellowship activities and service work.
• A sponsor reminds us to apply 12 Step principles in our lives.
• A sponsor models the 12 Step program of recovery.

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     / \   / \   / \

Dear Telephone Angels,

Thanks for your great response to the Telephone Angels notices. Below are a few FAQ's that give you the 'skinny'' on what questions you asked most here at Telephone Angels Headquarters.

Question: What exactly is a Telephone Angel and what do they do?

Answer: A Telephone Angel is a member of TRG who donates their time and attention to helping other TRG members by giving them someone to talk to, share their ESH with, answer questions, or simply listen.

~ MEET Andrea R.~

Andrea, mother of 2 (ages 3 and 4) comes to us from Kentucky and works part time in one of her passions -landscape design.

Andrea, please tell us a little about yourself and how you came to be here at TRG.

"I was talking to a friend of mine, and she told me how she was using the steps of AA to lose weight. I was really intrigued by that. I had heard of AA, but had never heard of using steps to lose weight. When my friend told me about OA, I was really surprised. I had heard of OA, but thought that it was just another dieting group. I did not know that OA looked upon overeating as an addiction."

"My friend had been losing weight and had been doing well, so I wanted to find out more about it. Unfortunately, there are no OA meetings near me, and I really did not feel comfortable going to AA meetings when drinking was not my problem. Also, with raising two small children, it would be very difficult for me to attend daily meetings even if I did have OA meetings locally."

"I went to the OA site, and was happy to see that online meetings were listed there. I found The Recovery Group, looked over the website a bit, and started reading the Big Book online."

"Since then I have been coming to meetings, and look forward to them. Even though I am not abstinent yet, I look forward to the meetings, and love hearing the shares. Somehow the meetings take the a lot of the stress out of controlling my eating, and my mind focuses more easily on what I need, as opposed to what I want".

Sometimes nature gives us the gift of wisdom whether we wish to receive it or not. My newly fragile back has led me to start the yard work earlier in the season and to do it in smaller increments so as not to cause undue discomfort. At first I chafed at the idea of devoting such little parts of my day to the yearly monumental task of cleaning up over an acre of leaves and tree limbs, but as I look out over my yard, it is cleaner earlier than it has ever been and I am not at all stressed out about having to spend several days rushing to clean it up. Doing an hour or half hour at a time, it's almost seemed as if I wasn't doing it at all, but today I noticed, with surprise, that I am over half done!

I've always told my children and staff to break up tasks into manageable chunks but it was never advice that I thought applied to me. However, having seriously begun to practice the 10th step for the first time in my life (a lot of "firsts" this year) I can see a similar wisdom in ending the day in reflection and then laying it aside. Living one "chunk" of twenty four hours at a time, I am finding that I sleep better and awake without the residual of yesterday's regret. If some part of my behavior requires apology or amends, it's right there on the pad for me to address as soon as possible. I'm amazed that such a simple activity as writing the answers to 15 reflective questions works such a wonder in my life!

I expected the program and HP to lead me to the sanity promised in Step Two, but I expected the clarity to be related to food. It's wonderful to realize that any of my insane behaviors (like the way I've always done yard work, or reports or cleaned house, etc., etc.) can be mitigated by practicing the steps.

Love in recovery,
Helen

Worry is a subtle foe for me. Worry does not present itself to me as a form of fear - which it is. Nor does it present itself as some nasty character defect - which excessive worry is - most certainly.

Worry parades around in my mind like a prideful know-it-all, much smarter than everyone else who isn't worried, even smarter than God Himself.

Worry demands "What if?...", when the question ought to be, "What is my next right step, God?"

Worry likes to waste my time going over the same territory again and again. I become paralyzed watching the hypnotic revolutions of my own mind. I do not move; I am a deer caught in the headlights.

Worry says I have to figure out a solution. No one else, not even God can help. I'm on my own.

Worry is a thief that steals my "now," my peace, my joy, my strength to move ahead, my positive attitude, my energy, my zest for life. Worry destroys the quality of my life.

Some helpful things I have heard concerning worry that help me are:

• I should doubt my doubts.
• If I pray, why worry? If I worry, why pray?
• I should ask myself: What is the net result of this train of thought? If it is positive, then it is not worry, it is just working through things.
• I should talk back to my worries. I should tell them to go away and that I don't believe them. I should also tell them that I am trusting my Higher Power.
• Sometimes my worries are really anger in disguise.
• Sometimes I worry because I am not taking care of myself well with exercise, sleep, etc.
• Caffeine can cause me to worry.

~ FROM THE TWELVE-STEP LITERATURE ~

~~ AN AA BIG BOOK READING~~

"It is easy to let up on the spiritual program of action and rest on our laurels. We are headed for trouble if we do, for alcohol/COE is a subtle foe. We are not cured of alcoholism/COE. What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition. Every day is a day when we must carry the vision of God's/HP's will into all of our acivities. "How can I best serve Thee--Thy will, (not mine) be done." These are thoughts which must go with us constantly. We can exercise our will power along this line all we wish. It is the proper use of the will..(AABB page 85)

"As we go through the day we pause, when agitated or doubtful, and ask for the right thought or action. We constantly remind ourselves we are no longer running the show, humbly saying to ourselves many times each day, "THY will be done". We are then in much less danger of excitement, fear, anger, worry, self-pity or foolish decisions. We become much more efficient. We do not tire so easily, for we are not burning up energy foolishly as we did when we were trying to arrange life to suit ourselves.(Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, p. 87-88)

    With permission, Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

MY SHARE...

These paragraphs speak very loudly to me right at this moment in time. I have been worrying, fretting, crying, depressed, etc. because "I" couldn't make something important to me happen in my group. I am once again trying to take control. MY will be done not God's will. This was very upsetting to me for several days until I began to feel sick again and then finally realized that I am getting WAAAYYYY too emotionally involved in all this!

I really wanted those who read this to know that this is a very Subtle foe. I don't overeat, but I do overworry and try to control those things I cannot control. At this moment I am reminded of our beautiful Serenity Prayer. "Grant me the SERENITY to ACCEPT the things I CANNOT change, COURAGE to change the things I can, and the WISDOM to know the difference.

I really pray for all of us as we struggle DAILY, sometimes one minute at a time, to remember THY will be done!!

Many blessings and Prayers to all seeking Recovery,
    Myrlene (Big Book and Recovery Group Coordinator)