~ FROM OUR RECOVERY GROUP MEMBERS ~
~ 90 Meetings In 90 Days ~
I am about to complete my second round of 90-90, and
it has made all of the difference in the world in my
recovery! There are no face-to-face OA meetings where
I live and I have to drive a minimum of 45 minutes to get
to the closest OA meeting. I try to do that once a week,
but because of my work schedule and recent surgery,
I can't always get to that meeting. Between online
meetings at TRG, and a couple of open AA meetings
here in town that I attend each week, I have been able
to do a 90-90.
There is nothing to substitute for going to a face to
face meeting, but the online meetings here at TRG are
what has made the difference for me. If you can imagine,
I entered a "cyber room", just as I did my first face to face,
and sat in the back hoping no one would speak to me.
I hoped for a quick exit after the meeting. Didn't happen
at either place, thank you, God! I met people who share
my disease and more importantly, who share their
experience, strength and hope in recovery with me.
Program friendships have developed and I met my
sponsor here at TRG.
It took a little getting used to the protocol of an online
meeting, but it's really no different than a face to face
meeting. We all arrive a little early and stay a little late
after the meeting and the sharing continues, friendships
develop and recovery happens. As I write this, I am
coming up on six months of recovery, and I have been
blessed with abstinence for that entire time. In those
six months, I have gone from the person cowering in the
back of the room, to one of the meeting partners and
now a meeting leader. What a transformation it has
been for me!
So, 90 meetings in 90 days, comes highly recommended
from me. If you live an area where you are blessed to
have face to face meetings everyday, get to them every
day--especially if you are a newcomer. What a wonderful
way to indoctrinate yourself to this new way of living and
thinking. If you are like me and don't have meetings in
your town, or you have to travel too far to go every day,
join us online every evening at 9:30 (EST). And if you
join us, my nickname in the room is Sandbagger--introduce
yourself to me.
~ Kind Words ~
How many times are we gifted with newcomers to our meetings?
They are so easy to see as they huddle in the back of the room,
usually as close to the exit as possible. The large or oversized
coat is a good giveaway, especially in July. Their eyes also
show the fear and anxiety which we all felt. Sure, we made it,
and so can they.
I remember the elder who first said those magical words to
me, those two simple words, "Welcome home." The warmth
and safety those words held were immense. I felt that my
body was huge, and I was embarrassed in a room full of people
who looked very similar to me, but my eyes could not see that.
They were filled with tears because of those two words.
Welcome home. Whoever that person was, I have two words
for you, "Thank you", whereever this finds you.
What do you do to make a newcomer feel welcome to your
meeting? Let us not forget that all important first hug. I
remember mine; do you? It felt good, I'll bet. So, welcome
the newcomer and let them know they are home. I will do
my part to welcome the newcomer into our fellowship,
one day at a time....
~ RECOVERY WRITERS' SERIES ~
~ THE PROMISES ~
In this column we bring you shares from Recovery Meditations,
Odyssey, Danny's Letters To God, Journey to Recovery,
Reflections, The Promises and many others. This month we
continue with Dawn's series, "The Promises."
"We will not regret the past
THE PROMISES (AABB, P. 83)
nor wish to shut the door on it."
In the last part of this series on the Promises, I talked about
how they begin to come true after doing Step Seven. Although it's
true that they begin to come true then, they blossom forth
after the completion of Step Nine. What comes before that
is just a sample of what will happen after Step Nine; "Made
direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when
to do so would injure them or others." Like Steps Four - Seven,
this sounds much harder than it really is. It must be done
carefully, however, with help from a sponsor and with a lot
In doing Steps Eight & Nine, I uncovered a lot of guilt about
things I had done in the past; things I had forgotten about,
but which were causes of a vague sense of guilt. I had been
feeling this guilt for so long that it was like a natural part of me.
I felt like there was something basically wrong with me that
made me feel so much guilt. I actually felt guilty about existing
in this world, since I wasn't really aware of what the cause of
this vague sense of guilt was. These feelings of guilt and
worthlessness affected all areas of my life, especially those
But, as soon as I began to make my amends in Step Nine,
I felt the release of the guilt. I felt SO much more comfortable.
I could be more open with my fellows, both in and out of OA.
I had nothing to hide any more.
The second Promise is: "We will not regret the past nor wish
to shut the door on it." Like a lot of us, I had many feelings
of guilt and anger about things that had happened in my past.
This anger was eating away at the inside of me. The person
I was the most angry with was my mother.
I had to forgive her for the many times she showered me with
verbal abuse. That was the most difficult amends of all. Why
had she felt the necessity of treating me this way? What was
my part in it? Where had this pattern of abuse come from?
I had to learn a lot about my mother's past in order to forgive
her. I learned that she had many of the same feelings of
inadequacy that I was carrying around. She had learned it
from her parents, who had learned it from their parents.
Part of my amends has been to put an end to this chain of
abuse. I think that having gone through this abuse, although
it hurt me a lot, also helped me to be sensitive to verbal abuse
That was the biggest amends I had to make. I didn't make it
directly, by discussing it in detail. I just told her several
times - that she had been the best parent she was able to be.
Other amends were much easier - things like clearing up debts,
changing my behavior towards others, returning things I had
borrowed, apologizing for things I had done, etc. Doing these
things set me free from the guilt that had been keeping me
chained and had affected all of my interactions with other
people for most of my life. It had mostly affected my relationship
Miraculously, the second Promise began to come true - I could
think about my past in more positive terms. I could use the
past to make my present life more positive towards both myself
and others. I could use it as a tool to make my present
relationships more satisfying. I know now that the way others
treated me, or didn't treat me, had more to do with them than
with me. They had their own burdens to carry.
We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.
We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.
We will comprehend the word serenity.
And we will know peace.
No matter how far down the scale we have gone,
we will see how our experience can benefit others.
That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear.
We will lose interest in selfish things and gain insight in our fellows.
Self-seeking will slip away.
Our whole attitude and outlook will change.
Fear of people and economic insecurity will leave us.
We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to
We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we
could not do for ourselves.
~ FROM THE LITERATURE ~
~~THE TWELVE STEPS ~ STEP FIVE~~
Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human
being, the exact nature of our wrongs.BR>
~~ THE TWELVE TRADITIONS ~ TRADITION FIVE ~~
Each group has but one primary purpose-to carry
its message to the compulsive overeater who still suffers.
~~ BIG BOOK QUOTE ~~
"They knew they had a host of new friends; it seemed
they had known these strangers always. They had seen
miracles, and one was to come to them. They had
visioned the Great Reality - their loving and All
Alcoholics Anonymous Big Book - Pages 160-161