
FOUNDER'S CORNER
Abstinence
"Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition
from mediocre minds"
- Einstein
Abstinence is not a mere word to compulsive eaters. For those
of us who live with our disease, we are conflicted and made to
feel shame when we hear the words ... "you just need a little
willpower," "just pull yourself away from the table" ... or "just
cut back on this or that." How can they not understand?
And then I remember how I couldn't understand. I remember when I
scoffed at anyone who said I had a disease ... or was obese .... or
a compulsive eater. I remember when I didn't know what the Twelve
Steps were and had never heard of the Big Book. Abstinence?
What a silly word! Everyone knows that no one can abstain from
food. It would be decades before I realized how wrong I was. It
would be years before I began receiving the promises the BB talks
about. And it would be an equally long time before I realized that
this COE could internalize that Abstinence was the most beautiful
word in the English language ... and that it meant, not doing
without food, but abstaining from the act of eating compulsively.
Happy July, Loopbuds.
@-}-}-}------
Mari
RECOVERY MEDITATION
Abstinence
"It's a funny thing about life. If you refuse to settle for
anything less than the best, that's what it will give you."
. . . W. Somerset Maugham
When I first came to program, I was more in the diet mentality.
After a few "slips," I had to face the facts ... I was in relapse,
and I had never really surrendered. With the help of the program,
I gained an increasing awareness of this progressive disease.
Did I really want to recover? Was I really willing to go to any
lengths to find relief from compulsive eating?
When I finally surrendered the food and began working the Steps,
I didn't know what to expect. All I knew was that food could no
longer be the answer. With seven months of abstinence, I now
know that I have a long way to go in my recovery. However, one
day at a time, I am willing to find my answers in the Steps
instead of the food. Thank you, Higher Power!
One day at a time ...
I choose abstinence and to listen for God's calling in my life.
God's will for me is the safest and most loving place I can be,
and I know God wants me to live a life free from the compulsion
to eat.
~ Christine S.
TWELVE STEPS IN TWELVE WEEKS
BEGINS THIS WEEK
In our tenth year of serving compulsive eaters who love and want
to work the Twelve Steps of Overeaters Anonymous, we invite you
to join us in the Third Quarter WTS Twelve Step Study.
Our Step Leader for the WTS Study is a veteran OAer who has
been program since February 11, 1986. I hope those of you
who register for the Step Study will give a warm welcome to
Lawrie Cherniack, a lawyer and educator, from Winnipeg, Canada.
Lawrie has recently returned from England where he gave a
Big Book Workshop and he has done BB studies in a number of
places in Canada and the United States as well. He has been at
a healthy body weight since May 1994 and free from the compulsion
to overeat since May 1993. Lawrie does a lot of sponsoring and has
been active in OA from the group level to the World Service level.
We are deeply grateful to Penny K. for the excellent job she
has done for the past 12 weeks. Hundreds have participated
under her leadership as they will under Lawrie's. As an aside,
it is interesting that in this tenth year of WTS, Penny was also
the WTS Step Leader in our very first Step Study.
To register for the study, please send a blank email to:
WTS-subscribe-request@lists.therecoverygroup.org
Please have a sponsor. If you don't, we have a
wonderful Sponsor Program and can help you find one. Please read:
www.therecoverygroup.org/sponsors.html.
Thank you, {{{{{{{{{{{{{{Penny}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
Welcome, {{{{{{{{{{{{{Lawrie}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
~ LOOP SPOTLIGHT OF THE MONTH ~
FFOA - Family and Friends of Alcholics
Often in our support groups which are life-saving recovery
homes for compulsive eaters, we hear stories of
alcoholism. What is is about compulsive eating and
alcoholism that accounts for so many relationships with
one of each?
Family and Friends of Alcoholics is one of the support
groups of our community. Although The Recovery Group
is for compulsive eaters, FFOA offers a self-help recovery
program for the families and friends of alcoholics. It doesn't
matter if the alcoholic in our life seeks help or not ... it
doesn't even matter if they recognize they have a drinking
problem. We are here, not for the alcoholic as much as
for the compulsive eater who loves them.
FFOA is not a religious organization or a counseling
agency. It's not a treatment center nor affiliated with
groups such as Al-Anon. We require no dues or fees. Our
only requirement is that the compulsive eater who joins us
wants to quit eating compulsive and has been living a life
adversely affected by someone else's drinking problem.
OAAnon is our sister support group. It is for those who
live with or love a compulsive eater ... and we will
talk about that group in another issue of Serendipity.
FROM THE COORDINATOR OF FFOA
I wonder how many members know that The Recovery Group
has a group for Compulsive Eaters who are also dealing with
someone they love, or are concerned about, who is being hurt
by Alcohol? It is called FFOA. This stands for "Family and
Friends of Alcoholics" or someone dealing with alcohol in their
lives. This is a place where you can share your feelings or
experiences with others who are also walking in the same
moccasins.
As in Al-Anon, everything said or done here is held in strict
confidence. We respect each other's rights to privacy on such
a hurtful subject.
Imagine having a group where you can share your feelings with
others who have had the same experiences. Some may have
been dealing with it longer and may have some really good
thoughts or actions that you could adopt in your lives. Or, on
the other hand, you may be able to pass on some crucial
guidance to someone's life.
We invite those who think this may be a group they would like to
be in to send us an email. There are some of us who are waiting
for others who will share and listen to our stories too. I know
that
pain held inside us only festers and gets worse and keeps us
anxious, sick and depressed. I also know that talking is therapy
and when you can talk out the pain and bad memories or
experiences, then we feel better than we could ever have believed
possible. If you have had a chance to go to an Alanon meeting,
you will understand that each meeting brings a greater ability to
cope as we learn new ways from others.
I'm hoping that some of you will come and join in and help
yourselves and others feel better.
Submitted by Myrlene, Coordinator of FFOA
Subscription information:
Visit our website located at:
http://www.therecoverygroup.org/odat/ffoa/index.html
To join FFOA, send a blank email to:
FFOA-subscribe-request@lists.therecoverygroup.org
~ ODAT LOOPS DIVISION ~
ODAT SPECIAL FOCUS SUPPORT GROUPS
The ODAT Loops of TRG are special interest groups, where
people who work the OA Program and also have a common
focus can discuss their program and how their common focus
affects it.
Some of our groups focus on the program(s) we are part of.
The AA/OA group is for people who are members of both OA
and AA, and how both programs impact their lives. FFOA is
for those who are members of Alanon, or who have friends and
family in AA. Oanon is for those who are not in OA themselves,
but have friends and family in OA. Drug Abuse is for those who
are addicted to substances other than food or alcohol; some may
be in NA. Sex, Food and Love Addiction is for those who may be
part of SLAA and/or those who are addicted to sex and/or love in
addition to food.
If you are interested in finding out more about these groups
please contact us and I will be happy to answer your questions.
In service,
Donna
Chairperson, The ODAT Division
ODATAdm@lists.therecoverygroup.org
www.theRecoveryGroup.org/odat/

~ RECOVERY LOOPS DIVISION ~
The Recovery Loops Division is made up of TRG's Twelve-step
general sharing support groups. Our common mission is to
provide a safe and supportive space for anyone who wants to
recover from the disease of compulsive eating to share their
experience, strength, and hope with others.
The following is a brief description of each of these groups.
ANOREXIA and BULIMIA
In addition to our common mission, this loop also focuses on
issues and topics that are of interest to compulsive eaters
whose disease takes the form of anorexia and/or bulimia.
http://www.therecoverygroup.org/special/anorexbul.html
THE BIG BOOK
This loop studies the first 164 pages of the Alcoholics
Anonymous Big Book, which has been the blueprint for many
12-step programs, including OA. The loop has 7 chairpersons
who are responsible for posting a short passage from the Big
Book as the topic of the day. If you are interested in
studying the Big Book, you may join this loop at anytime and
begin sharing immediately.
http://www.therecoverygroup.org/special/bbrecovery.html
200 PLUS
This support group is for men and women who have 200 or more
pounds to lose ... or who have lost that much in the past. We
also have a loop called HOTJ for those who have lost or need
to lose much more than 200 pounds.
http://www.therecoverygroup.org/hotj/200plus.html
JOURNEY TO RECOVERY
JTR was the first general sharing group in the Recovery Group.
Compulsive eaters who join this Twelve Step group share on a
wide range of topics.
http://www.therecoverygroup.org/jtr/index.html
MEDITATIONS
While all groups receive the daily Recovery Meditation, the
members of this group share with each other how the daily
meditation relates to their own individual experience, strength
and hope.
http://www.therecoverygroup.org/special/meditations.html
OA FRIENDS
This loop does not have a special focus other than to provide a
safe haven for compulsive eaters to discuss topics of interest
to them in their recovery process. OA Friends is a group of men
and women who come together and share the experience, strength
and hope of their recovery in OA with each other. You will find
sharing that ranges from questions about food plans to how to find
a sponsor to someone struggling to find abstinence to tips from
those who have found strong recovery and are willing to share it
with others looking for the same thing.
http://www.therecoverygroup.org/oafriends/index.html
OA NEWCOMERS
This is a very special loop that helps newcomers to become
more familiar with OA and The Recovery Group and to ask
questions. Once members becomes more comfortable with the
process, they are encouraged to join a "home" loop to work
a full recovery program.
http://www.therecoverygroup.org/special/newcomers.html
OA RECOVERY
Like the Journey to Recovery loop, this loop was also one of the
first Recovery Group loops. The mission of this loop is to be as
much like an Overeaters Anonymous face-to-face meeting as
possible in cyberspace.
http://www.therecoverygroup.org/recovery/index.html
RELAPSE
This loop is a place for members who are in or have gone through a
relapse to find support and to hear and share experience, strength,
and hope with other members who have also experienced the pain
of a relapse.
http://www.therecoverygroup.org/special/relapse.html
SPONSOR-SPONSEE-TALK
The members of our sponsors group ask questions and discuss
concerns relating to the sponsor/sponsee relationship.
http://www.therecoverygroup.org/sponsors.html
WORKING THE STEPS (WTS)
The very first Recovery Group loop established ten years ago,
WTS is a quarterly, in-depth e-mail study of the Twelve Steps
of Overeaters Anonymous. Each quarter a WTS Step Leader
will post the step of the week and a personal share about that
step. Members work with their personal sponsor on the Step
work as well as post their own experiences with the Step to
the loop.
http://www.therecoverygroup.org/wts/index.html
Submitted by Cheryl S.,
Recovery Group Loops Division Chair
More details about these support groups can be found at:
www.theRecoveryGroup.org/trg.html
Contact: TRGAdm@lists.TheRecoveryGroup.org
~ DISCOVERY LOOPS DIVISION ~
Come join us at The Abstinent Kitchen, Kids and Recovery,
COKids, Exercise, Kitchen Archives and The Yellow Brick Road.
These are fun-loving ways to work your recovery program, share food
plans, get recipes, find others with children with weight problems,
exercise solutions for compulsive eaters, overweight kids writing
other overweight kids about their common problems and a Yellow
Brick Road where anything goes.
Athena is the Discovery Division chair and is busy recruiting
dedicated Coordinators for each of the Discovery Loops.
Read more about The Discovery Division groups at:
http://www.theRecoveryGroup.org/discovery/index.html
Contact:
DiscoveryAdm@lists.TheRecoveryGroup.org
or DiscoveryAdm@yahoo.com
~ THE RECOVERY TELEPHONE ANGELS ~
(\0/) (\0/) (\0/)
/ \ / \ / \
ANGELIC OPPORTUNITIES TO SERVE 0-x:)
Be an angel. Consider using a common tool of recovery--the
telephone! Give back what you have been given by volunteering
your phone number to talk to others in recovery.
Your willingness to accept phone calls from fellow
members of TRG when you are available will impact so
many, keeping others from that first compulsive bite.
Many times I had balked at using the phone because I used it
so much in a job-related way. But I tell you, when my food
addiction began to press all the buttons in my elevator, I
became willing to make the first call for help. Thank HP that a
phone list was available and that there were others willing to
listen and respond.
The telephone is yet another tool to break the isolation that is
so very common among us. Alone, with my own thoughts, I am
a goner. But when I hear a voice of reassurance reinterating
that I do not have to listen to the urge to food splurge it is
calming and sane.
Please consider being a Telephone Angel. It is such an amazing
way to give back and serve at the same time.
To join our list of telephone angels - and share your recovery with
others through this service -- please contact
January, using the conact information listed below.
In your email please include the
following:
- Your name
- Email address
- What State you live in (this way people
can find someone closer to them)
- Your phone number ~ area code and
number
- Your time zone (like Eastern Standard)
- Best times to call?
- And should folks leave a message or not?
Thanks in advance for considering giving service.
In service,
January K.
Telephone Angel Coordinator
stayangelstay@yahoo.com
The Recovery Telephone Angels Program
TRGAdm@TheRecoveryGroup.org. Please put "Attention: Telephone Angels" on the subject line.
~ TRG TRUSTED SERVANT OF THE MONTH ~
A Very Old Timer
She's done it all, our Penny ... and she is the Recovery Group's
Trusted Servant of the Month. Currently, the Coordinator of our
Israel Loop, Step Leader for the WTS Twelve Steps in Twelve
Weeks Study and Co-Distributor of the Recovery Meditations,
she holds the record of being the longest running OA Online
Trusted Servant in the Recovery Group.
Penny is a 'woman's woman.' By that we mean she does it
all. Married, children, homemaker, job, community ...
everything. She is also a singer and one of the few people
who can tell it like it is and in doing so, you see her courage,
her strength and her humility. In 1996, Penny wrote the
following about Step Two ... and for those of us who insisted
we were sane and read her words below, life was never
the same again.
"And as I look at the damage I caused by trying to control
the uncontrollable... the utter chaos I caused by behaving
like a roaring tornado, Step 2 offers incredible hope that I
can be restored to sanity. And believe me, my behavior, my
attitudes, my beliefs were light-years removed from any
semblance of any definition of sanity. I tried so hard to
change myself and my attitudes, and I was stymied at every
turn. What blessed relief to know that there is a power
greater than myself that can restore me to sanity."
Now, almost a decade letter, she is still telling her story
to hundreds and letting us see her imperfections which
mirror our own. And she does it in such a way that it keeps
us filled with eternal hope that we can recovery from this
disease.
Congratulations, ODAT1836@..., our Penny ...our
Trusted Servant of the Month
To nominate a TRG Trusted Servant
to spotlight, please send an email to:
serendipitynewsletter@yahoo.com.

~ FROM THE TWELVE-STEP LITERATURE ~

~~ FROM THE BIG BOOK ~~
It is easy to let up on the spiritual program of action and rest
on our laurels. We are headed for trouble if we do, for
alcohol/COE is a subtle foe. We are not cured of alcoholism/COE.
What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the
maintenance of our spiritual condition. Every day is a day when
we must carry the vision of God's/HP's will into all of our
activities. "How can I best serve Thee--Thy will (not mine) be
done." These are thoughts which must go with us constantly. We
can exercise our will power along this line all we wish. It is
the proper use of the will. (Alcoholics Anonymous,
Page 85)
Along with the above, I love the line that says, "If tempted, I
recoil from it as from a hot flame. We must react sanely and
normally, and we will find that this has happened automatically."
(AABB, Pages 84-85)
MY SHARE...
I was thinking that it certainly is easy to start resting on our
laurels when we have been in program for a certain length of time
and think we have it all under "control!" This is the time to
be aware that our disease is "cunning, baffling, and powerful",
and it loves to see us letting up and thinking we are now "in
control." This is when it strikes us when we least expect it!
How many of us have started missing just a few meetings, then
more, or didn't read our literature for a few days, or think,
'oh, just one bite won't hurt me. After all, I've been
abstinent long enough that I know better than to binge now!!
NOT!!
At this point we must remember to "recoil from it/COE as from
a hot flame!"
I know I've been there and done that. I know that I've let
reading my daily literature slip and soon start forgetting some
of the slogans that had helped me in a tight squeeze. I let my
busy life interfere and soon I was back again gaining a few added
pounds that I certainly didn't want!
As the BB says, "we are granted a daily reprieve contingent on our
spiritual condition." How safe is my spiritual condition now that I
have let program slide for a few days or a few weeks?
We are all walking a slippery slope, One Day at a Time. Let's all do
our best to remember "First things, First." And that first thing
has to be OUR own health. No one will take care of us, but US!!
May our HP/God be with us all, ODAT!!
Much Love in Recovery,
Myrlene (Big Book and Recovery Group)