FOUNDER'S CORNER ~ LOYALTY ~
Not too far behind love, which is the topic most
will be writing about this month, is loyalty. I'd
like to write about that in this issue because I've
been thinking a lot about loyalty and disloyalty, and
why they're so important to me.
An anonymous child, age 12 wrote this poem.
It resonated with me.
Of all the things in the world that can hurt us,
I believe disloyalty is one of the most
emotionally painful. I don't know where or when
commitment, loyalty, trust, love and tenacity
became so much a part of my psyche ... but it did.
"I feel the pain - it burns like a scar,
As people stare at me from where they are,
They whisper about me behind my back,
But it's okay ... because you are loyal to me.
I will come when everyone has gone,
And I will shield you when you are attacked;
I will comfort you when you are treated unjustly.
I will applaud you when others "boo."
If those you trusted turn their back on you,
They will have to turn their back on me.
That is just the way I am;
That is just the way it is.
This is respect.
This is friendship.
This is trust.
This is loyalty."
. . . . . Anonymous
Disloyalty is not a pretty sight ... but when it does
appear, I thank God for the freedom offered by
the 12 Steps, the wisdom of the Big Book and
and the comfort of the Serenity Prayer.
Happy February, Loopies.
Love in recovery,
~ INTO ACTION ~
I know from my own experience, and the countless
thousands of times I have heard it from others, that
getting "into action" works.
I was floundering and so - reverted to what I know to
do: trust God, clean house and work with others - put
the directions of the program into action. WOW! It
worked immediately. Within one day I was feeling
better and my relationships were improving, I felt
more comfortable with food and the obsession was
lessening. Within three days I was treating myself
with a wonderful respect and feeling like I was
pumping on all cylinders.
"Nothing short of continuous action upon these as a
way of life can bring the much- desired result." P. 40,
After so many years, I am still blown away by the
power of the program!
I love the 12 steps. They have saved me time and time
again from myself.
~ TRG ADM ~ The Administrative Hub ~
Some of you have received mail from one or more
of the adminstrators. There are two of us in
the office - Nancy and Dodee.
What do the administrators do? Well, we watch
over all of TRG -- the meetings, the loops,
the special services. We get up to 250 emails
a day. Each time someone addresses an email
with owner in the title, it is forwarded to
TRGAdm. We also check all the Yahoo and Hotmail
addresses that TRG uses.
We answer questions about every phase of TRG
from subscribing and unsubscribing, to how to
post to a loop, and even what the meaning of
OA acronyms such as ODAT and ESH are. We
live in different US time zones so one of
us is usually checking things out to make
sure the loops and meetings are available
for all that need them from early morning
until late at night.
We check to see that announcements are received
by each list and are always here for the coordinators
and division heads if they need us.
If you haven't seen us around, I promise you
will at some time.
In loving service to all,
Dodee, Nancy and Audrey, Administrators
~ ODAT LOOPS DIVISION ~
The ODAT Group Loops
The ODAT groups are for people who are compulsive
overeaters, and who share a common focus. In these
groups, we talk about our common focus, and about
how it impacts on our recovery. We have groups
which focus on people of the same faith (LDS,
Christian, Pagan, Jewish); groups for people of
the same age group (Silver, Teens); groups for people
with common physical/medical challenges (PMS, Pain,
Diabetes); groups for people who are at various
stages of their family life (Relationships,
Parenting, Pregnancy & Motherhood); groups for
people who are also addicted to other substances
(AA, Drug Abuse, Spending, and S*xandLoveAddicts)
and groups for people who love addicts (FFOA, OAAnon).
We also have two groups which focus on special food
plans. Though neither OA (nor TRG) endorse specific
food plans, many of the members of TRG loops follow
these specific food plans, and find it helpful to
discuss their food plans with others who do. We also
welcome people who want to know more about the food
plan, and would like to hear the ESH of those who follow
them. Our HOW group and Grey Sheet group were created
for this purpose.
Another special group in ODAT is the WLS group. This
group is for those who have had, or who are seeking -
information about weight loss surgery. Those of us who
have had the surgery are still challenged by the same
issues that were part of our lives pre-op, and it is
good to have a place to discuss how to use the tool of
WLS to help work our Program.
If you are interested in information on any of the
ODAT groups, please contact ODATAdm (address below).
ODAT Division Chairperson
Web page: www.theRecoveryGroup.org/odat/index.html
~ RECOVERY LOOPS DIVISION ~
The Recovery Loops Division is made up of TRG's
Twelve-step general sharing support groups. Our
common mission is to provide a safe and supportive
space for anyone who wants to recover from the
disease of compulsive eating where COE's can share
their experience, strength, and hope with others. In
addition, some of these loops also have a special
focus. The loops that make up this Division are:
Anorexia and Bulimia, The Big Book, 200 Plus, Journey
to Recovery, Meditations, OA Friends, OA Newcomers,
OA Recovery, Relapse, Sponsor-Sponsee-Talk, Working
the Steps ("WTS"), and WTS Weekly.
As you may know, a new group of OA Newcomers graduated
the general sharing loops in December where they will
continue their recovery journey. The First Quarter
Orientation of 2006 has begun. This is a Speaker
Program with 12 "old-timers" sending shares to the
WTS and Newcomers will begin new Study's March 1.
Several of the Recovery Group Loops are in need of
coordinators. I know that giving service by being a
coordinator of a loop has added a lot to my own
recovery and hope that you will consider this
opportunity to give service. If you are interested
in becoming a coordinator, please contact me at
the address given below.
The Recovery Group Loops Division
More details about these support groups can be found at:
~ DISCOVERY LOOPS DIVISION ~
For many of us the opposite of hope brought
us into program. At step one, or pre-step
one, we felt hopeless, dejected, defeated;
for many of us program seemd a last resort,
a final flickering ray of hope thrown out to
us across a dark sea of the drowning and the
For many of us, the New Year, just by being
a New Year, offers hope - hope of a new
beginning. We may enter program as we
once started another diet. This time, this
time, it'll work. Sometimes it does. The
New Year's resolution to enter fully into
program does keep us going, until it
becomes a habit. And, as habits have a
way of doing, our participation becomes
a natural and wonderful thing.
But not all of us have this experience.
Some of us quit, convinced program can't
work for us. We don't see the immediate
changes we hoped for. Or it takes longer
to lose weight this time, or none comes
off. Or our character defects seem
insurmountable, or we can't possibly
make amends to some of the people on
Funny thing, though, about this strong
and resilient program -- we can begin
again, at any moment. No bit of
recovery, however small, is lost. And
no one gets more than 24 hours at a
time. There is always hope, hope that
in the next minute we can decide,
again, to be abstinent, or pick up the
'phone for the first time and call
another OA member, or ask some
one f-t-f or online to be our sponsor.
We don't have to wait 'til next
Monday or next month, or the next
New Year, to adopt a food plan, to
begin an inventory or do a daily
inventory, to make an amend, to
talk with and listen to G-d as we
Hope never leaves the stage of
our lives. The rooms, whether
cyber or otherwise, brim over
with hope -- in what we share.
It is, after all, experience,
strength, and hope (ESH) we
are to share with one another.
What a profound gift our ESH
is! I see it everyday on these
loops, in meetings, hear it on
the phone, sense it in our
Like a brilliant beam of light in
that dark sea of despair, hope
calls us home, in program, one
day, one hour, one minute at
a time. We are never alone.
The light of hope forever
Everyone is invited to check out
the Discovery Division. If you
haven't visited, there are loops
on exercise, archives of recipes,
an abstinent kitchen, a loop for
kids to share, and a loop for
parents and other friends and
relatives of kids with food issues.
And there's the yellow brick road
..........come and find out by going
to the web page address, below:
In love and gratitude for hope,
Discovery Division Chair
Web page: www.TheRecoveryGroup.org/discovery/index.html
~ TRG SPONSOR PROGRAM ~
People often ask about the role of a sponsor in their
The OA website states it so clearly in the tools when
"Sponsors are OA members who are living the Twelve
Steps and Twelve Traditions to the best of their ability.
They arewilling to share their recovery with other
members of the Fellowship and are committed to abstinence."
The heart of recovery is found in this simple
one-on-one sharing of the steps of recovery.
OA is based on these 12 steps, and those wonderful
promises come as a result of taking these steps and
living them out! When you are seriously ready to take
the steps of recovery, it is time to find a sponsor!
The OA tools page says:
"Ours is a program of attraction: find a sponsor who
has what you want, and ask that person how he or she
is achieving it. "
Listen carefully to the shares of the members on your
home loop. Perhaps you will find someone there who has
what you are seeking!
Try posting a topic for sharing yourself, and listen
to the responses of the members; perhaps you will find
the sponsor you are seeking.
If you attend meetings, either f2f or online, again,
listen to the sharing, ask questions after the meeting!
When you are ready, there will be a sponsor ready for
you! And, when you really begin working these steps of
recovery with a sponsor, you will begin to find the gifts
If you are ready to serve as a sponsor, please write,
and we will add you to the sponsor directory right
Patt and Cate
TRG Sponsor Coordinators
~ THE RECOVERY TELEPHONE ANGELS ~
(\0/) (\0/) (\0/)
/ \ / \ / \
THE RECOVERY GROUP TELEPHONE ANGELS PROGRAM
Dear Friend in Recovery,
There is an opportunity available for
you all to give back what you have
been given by carrying the message
through the use of the telephone. By
just being willing to accept phone
calls from fellow members of TRG when
you are available, you can impact so
many and possibly help keep someone
from that first compulsive bite.
Our program can be very simple. Just
by a member of a loop reaching
out and making a phone call from a
list available to them, lives can be
changed. So many times I have been
going through a tough time and picked
up the phone and with the kind words
spoken on the other end I was able to
express my pain - thus preserving my
abstinence one more day.
And sometimes just the act of dialing
the phone and releasing the negative
energy is enough - so even if the person
is not home - the negativity or obsession
has begun to be lifted and another tool
can then be utilized.
On the other side there have been so
many times when I received a call and
just the right thing was said. I know a
lot of times I would thank the person
for keeping me abstinent one more day.
Simply listening to them got me
out of my own head and kept me out
of the fridge.
So please consider being a Telephone
Angel. It is such an amazing way to
give back and serve at the same time.
I always love what Rozanne said in
her promise: "I put my hand in yours
and together we can do what we never
could do alone......" We all share
a common bond and need each other.
Sometimes online email is enough and
sometimes we need more like a telphone
To join our list of telephone angels
and share your recovery with others
through this service please contact:
In your email please include the
following information so that you may
be properly listed in th directory:
- Your name
- Email address
- Publish your email address? (Yes or No)
- What State you live in (this way people
can find someone closer to them)
- Your phone number ~ area code and
- Your time zone (like Eastern Standard)
- Best times to call?
- Should folks leave a message or not?
- And, any other info you want callers to know
Thanks in advance for considering
- We do not publish website mentions.
- No advertisements or spam is allowed.
- The Telephone Angel Directory is
published as an outreach tool for our
TRG Recovery Loop members ONLY
and is PRIVATE and CONFIDENTIAL!
- Phone numbers should never be
shared under any circumstances.
Coordinator, Telephone Angels Directory
The Recovery Telephone Angels Program
~ NEWCOMER'S CORNER ~
Newcomers meetings are Monday and Tuesday, 8PM EST and Thursday 10PM EST
~ MEET Elizabeth W.~
Elizabeth is the mother of 2 (ages 3 and 7), and comes to us
from St. Paul, Minn.
"This year I knew I needed to find a different
approach to controlling my weight. I had been on
several diets over the years, but found that my weight
still continued to climb despite my efforts."
Thank you so much for sharing your
experience with us, Elizabeth. It is a pleasure to
have you as a member of our group.
"A friend of mine who is in AA told me about there
being a 12 step program for people with eating
disorders, and so I came online to learn more about
it. That is how I found the Recovery Group."
"I was very intrigued by my first meeting. It was as
if the people in the meeting had been reading my
diary. I also found myself wanting to learn a lot
more about how my thinking was tied in with my
overeating. Before, I just thought of myself as a hog
with no willpower."
"I found the shares of people in the meeting to be
shocking in their honesty. I had never had the
courage to speak frankly about how far out of control
my eating gets sometimes, and I so related to those
who felt ashamed afterwards."
In what ways, Elizabeth, do you feel that this program
has had an impact on your recovery?
"I know that I am just getting started, but I am
already beginning to feel differently... I now have
peers that I can talk to who know the struggle of
being obsessed with food. I am more forgiving of
myself and learning to set smaller goals, rather than
thinking about how my life will start once I am thin.
I am concentrating on getting healthy, happy, and
finding peace, rather than concentrating on weight."
"My family is very supportive, but does not really
understand what the steps and meetings are all about
if they are not about dieting and exchanging recipes.
At this point I am still a little reluctant to say too
much to them about the program, but that is ok, I am
doing this just for me."
Love in recovery,
Newcomer's Meeting Leader
~ OA NEWCOMERS GUEST SPEAKERS PROGRAMS ~
OANewcomers is a "hopping" loop with over 75% of
its members actively sharing this month. The loop
provides the Newcomers with a temporary haven before
they move on to a permanent home loop. While at OA
Newcomers, members participate in an Orientation
Program in which they are introduced to The Recovery
Group and OA program basics. The orientation period is
approximately 12 weeks during which time the newcomers
are encouraged to ask questions and are introduced to
We invite Guest Speakers to present the following
topics; Basics; Netiquette, Subscriptions, tips, what
to do first, etc., The Twelve Steps with focus on the
first three steps and spirituality, the Twelve traditions, Sponsors,
On-line and Face-to-Face meetings, The Recovery
Group Loops, studies and services, Food Plans, The Three
Legged Stool, Literature with a focus on the OA 12 & 12,
Big Book and TRG writings, Recovery Topics on The Recovery Website,
Service and How to Share appropriately at F2F and on
The speakers send their article that includes
questions for review to the loop. The newcomers then
post their answers to the loop, ask questions, discuss
the topic, etc.
We have Guest speakers signed up for 10 of the 12
topics for all of 2006! (Speakers send their topic one
time each quarter). We are presently in need of guest
speakers for two topics, The Three Legged Stool and
Recovery Topics on The Recovery Website. If you are
interested in giving service as a speaker for one of
these topics, please contact me at: LCaul@verizon.net
The Newcomers really enjoy having the Guest Speakers.
And as they are very eager to learn, they take their
topic work very seriously.
The second quarterly Newcomers Orientation Session will
begin March 1-June 30. To join, e-mail:
~ THE STAGES OF STINKING THINKING ~
Like a lot of COE's, I have my good days and bad
days... even when my plan is going well, and even
though I am abstinent.
What I have become aware of most recently is that my
mind has different levels of "stinking thinking".
It is in "disease mode" that I find myself where my
mind should not dwell. Self-pity is a good example of
From self-pity it is just a little hop over to my
mental theater, where I replay old mental movies of
how someone or something did me wrong. I well-up with
resentment, and I start to have "insane" thoughts that
contradict everything that I have been hoping and
working to achieve. I start to lose focus of things
going on around me, lose strength, lose energy, lose
confidence, and just wallow in those old thoughts and
If allowed to go unchecked, I can find my emotions
rise up, grow, and I am past resentment and well on
my way to anger. I breathe differently. My willfulness
increases, my mind races,and I find that I want to head
for the fridge out of a need to lash out... only instead
of lashing out at someone or something, I curb those
feelings of violence and stuff it down... as though the
physical violence of stuffing myself is the only
outlet for me to react physically to my emotions.
When I immersed myself in the program, I began to
experience a very strong anti-binge dialogue going on
in my head.
This is what allows me to maintain my abstinence.
Still, with practice and working on my relationship
with my HP, things continue to get better... and my
relationship with food has totally changed.
I still find, however, that unless I interrupt the
negative thought process, my mind wants to escalate to
the next level. I have begun to see these levels as
red flags in which I know I need to take action and
head negative thinking off at the pass. For example,
I remind myself that there is no such thing as a right
to self-pity, and that if I continue to wallow in
it, I will become an emotional addict, becoming stuck,
and losing my recovery.
Love in recovery,
~ GRATITUDE ~
Most of the time when I sit down to write my shares
the very first thing that comes to my mind is
gratitude that I CAN write them because I am working
the Program I am writing about.
I remember the years upon years when my life was such
a mess in so many ways and I didn't really know why.
I could point to turning points where it certainly
appeared I had taken the wrong way, but why I had
turned was a mystery to me. I knew I was eating
compulsively again and I started many diets, food
plans and ways of living that were calculated to fix
that problem. Surprisingly to me, although many of
them were rooted and grounded in good common sense and
good spiritual principles, none of them worked.
This week I can write the topic with more informed
gratitude because, thanks to the ongoing WTS workshop,
I finally know what was wrong with my life. I have a
physical, mental and spiritual disease...the spiritual
manifestation of which is an unmanageable life! This
is wisdom from our WTS leader, but we've had two weeks
to work on checking out whether his wisdom jives with
what we have proved in our own life. The homework is
voluminous, comprehensive and searching. At the end
we receive, not a continuing education credit but a
new understanding of our disease and most important,
I had never thought of step one as being divided into
physical and spiritual aspects, but thinking of it
thusly brings easy comprehension where only questions
used to lurk. To paraphrase, I have a physical
addiction to certain substances over which I am
powerless to control my physical reaction which will
result (sooner or later) in cravings. I have a
spiritual disease which manifests itself in the
behavior of compulsive overeating which is a character
defect. Like all character defects, it is instinct
gone wild and although this was not covered in class,
I believe that character defects, at their heart, are
an attempt to circumvent the action of HP in our
lives..to use some way to comfort ourselves other than
turning to our Creator for help.
So today, at long last, I understand what was going on
during those years of chaos. I was looking for a
substitute god, even willing to play God myself. It
didn't work and I am glad it didn't because the pain
of failure brought me back to sanity. I gratefully
plan to work the Program one day at a time in order to
maintain this sanity. Recovery blossoms in our lives
as we become open to the nuances and depths of its
Joy and peace,
~ FROM THE TWELVE-STEP LITERATURE ~
~~ FROM THE AA BIG BOOK ~~
THE TWELVE PROMISES
"We are going to know a new freedom and a new
happiness. We will not regret the past nor
wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend
the word serenity. And we will know peace.
No matter how far down the scale we have gone,
we will see how our experience can benefit others.
That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will
disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things
and gain insight in our fellows. Self-seeking will
slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook will change.
Fear of people and economic insecurity will leave us.
We will intuitively know how to handle situations
which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that
God is doing for us what we could not do for
c. 2001, AABB, pp 83-4
We are definitely going to find a new happiness and
a new peace, at least I know I did! All of us have
been down in the bitter hole many times and back out,
only to fall in again, unexpectedly!! This is because
our disease is so Cunning and Powerful! No amount of
willpower can last long enough to stop this deadly
disease from attacking us (usually when we confident
and least expect it)!
The cycle of this disease must be stopped! We HAVE
to find a Higher Power to give us the strength and
guidance every day. We have to be willing to let HP
lead us and show us the right Path.
As we begin this NEW YEAR, I do pray that HP will help
ALL of us to reach the goals we want ONE DAY AT A TIME.
I feel that I am at the bottom again and as I'm
suffering with the effects of COE, I humbly offer myself
to HIM to please help me.!!
Many Blessings on your Path To Recovery,
Much Love in Recovery,
Myrlene (Big Book and Recovery Group)