~ DANNY'S CORNER ~
"Setup time" is here. Thoughts of "who would know" are running around my head. Old tapes long since hidden in the back room of my brain have become new releases. "Who would know" is my long time companion and would have taken over by now except for some well spent spiritual recovery that I have been keeping for just a day as this. There was a time when I was unable to even recognize these thoughts, but now it is second nature to bring them to You for disposal.
The woman You sent to run my life is, as we speak, on her way to the wilds of Pennsylvania to visit her sister and him. She is taking Aunt Mae with her, and I put them in Your care, as well as my car. Alone to do as I please? Hardly. I will leave shortly for Brooklyn to do some banking, as the youngest of the children needs some cash (this one actually pays it back), and the weekend is full of f2f meetings.
Stay with me this day, show me the way, and give me the power to do Your will as it is revealed to me. Wrap all those I love in Your arms, give abstinence to all who need it, and remember to watch over those I would like to see suffer. They more than all others need Your help. The clock strikes eight and I must get going, but before I go please reach out to those who ask me for help that I can not help. Only You can make them whole.
AND WHY NOT......Danny
~ FROM THE
RECOVERY GROUP MEMBERS ~
White Gentle Dove
The time is late and no one is here
my heart is empty and I cannot hear
the gentle knocking from those I love
flowing white as snow like a gentle dove
The horses whisper and the bird doth cry
To join with the dove
To help it as it flies
For the journey is tough
The barriers are hard
For love to touch
My sealed off heart
The decision is mine
To be alone and cry
Or to break the seal
And like the dove I fly
To the mountains and valleys
I find my peace
By a soft gentle stream
Or by a long deserted beach
The waters they wash
The terrors of the past
The waves they crash
the seal to my heart
it allows me to feel
the white from the dove
as a hand stretches out
I can now feel your love.
One Day at a Time
We are told to take the program One Day at a Time. For me some days it's hour by hour. I have my program and it's getting easier for me. I can go and plan my food and stay on what I know I can have. My HP gives me the belief that I will do better. I can go now for blocks of time. I do well now for most of the day. Today I'm celebrating day 15 of abstinence. I know I will have my eating disorder or the rest of my life. I used to believe when I got to x weight I could eat normally, but now I know I will never be able to go without this program. I know by all the shares I'm not alone like I thought for years. I feel like all of you are my friends, and this is a safe place to talk about things I never felt comfortable talking about before. I will just take it one day at a time because I've learned thats what works.
love mickie, COE
My name is Jeanette B. and I'm a compulsive overeater and a food addict. Just tonight, I ran across this quote and it made me stop and think about myself and my program. Then there was this message about sharing you ESH and I've decided I'd like to share the quote and my ESH in this program.
YOU AND GOD
People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered;
Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends & some
If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you;
Be honest and sincere anyway.
What you spend years creating others could destroy overnight;
If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, will often be forgotten.
Do good anyway.
Give the best you have, and it may never be enough;
Give your best anyway.
In the final analysis, it is between you and God; it was never between you and them anyway.
This quote made me stop and realize that I never have done any of these things before I began my recovery program. I have always been too afraid to do any of these things, especially to be forgiving, honest, sincere or happy. UNHEARD OF. I have been in program for four years and I'm still striving to achieve them. I have found my insecurities to be so strong that I'm sometimes too afraid to let go of my armor coat to reveal the real me.
I certainly have gotten much better though. I now take the risk of letting others see the real me. I have learned to deal with my feelings instead of hiding and eating behind them. I've also learned that I can be a success, but not alone. I need my higher power who I choose to call God and my OA family. I have succeeded in loosing 75 pounds and still have about another 70 to go, but the weight loss is my last concern right now.
I sometimes forget about my program and like to think that I can do this without making any effort or work. I get really sloppy with my food plan and deceive myself into thinking it's still OK. How wrong I am! Now I want to continue learning, totally, how to become secure and trustworthy with my fellow sufferers and to continue to work my program in EVERY way so that I can continue to recover mentally, physically and emotionally. I really like this new person I've discovered and I don't want to let her go back into the shell she's lived in for 48 years.
Thanks for letting me share, and thanks to all of you for being here.
Love, hugs and prayers in recovery,
The Serenity Prayer. How strong is this prayer? How many people have been saved by saying this prayer in the hour or seconds of turmoil? It is a short prayer filled with hope for good things. Serenity lets us live our lives free of dissatisfaction, fear and pain. Serenity makes hard time bearable. Serenity changes the way we look at and deal with events everyday. Serenity lets us say half full instead of half empty. Serenity fills us so we are not knocked down by disturbances. Even large catastrophes only give us pause to ask what we should do next. Strength to do comes from the Serenity prayer.
God, grant us the SERENITY to accept the things we cannot change; the COURAGE to change the things we can; and the WISDOM to know the difference.
~ TOOLS OF RECOVERY ~
~ FROM THE LITERATURE ~
The Promises from the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous
We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.
We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.
We will comprehend the word serenity.
And we will know peace.
No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our
experience can benefit others.
That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear.
We will lose interest in selfish things and gain insight in our fellows.
Self-seeking will slip away.
Our whole attitude and outlook will change.
Fear of people and economic insecurity will leave us.
We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us.
We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.
Reflections on The Twelve Steps of Recovery
"Came to believe that a Power greater than
ourselves could restore us to sanity."/B>
~~THE SECOND STEP~~
In Step One I told you about the days when I was "Queen of the Universe" and "Ruler of the World." I wrote about taking the first step ... "We admitted we were powerless over our addiction ... that our lives had become unmanageable." And I ended my journal with these words: "IF I wasn't going to continue being "Queen of the World" .... IF I was "powerless" ... IF my life was unmanageable .... how was I going to be able to survive? Who was going to restore me to sanity?"
And today's quote begins to answer that question. The second step of any 12-step recovery group tells us that a "Power greater than ourselves can restore us to sanity." It doesn't say Jesus .... or God .... or Nature ... or Buddha .... or any other traditional "powers." It simply says a "Power greater than ourselves."
Compulsive illness is a killer. We reach a bottom in this illness ... and I don't care WHAT your compulsion happens to be. Sooner or later, in my opinion, we are all going to reach a point that we KNOW we are not going to be able to "handle this" alone. It's going to take every force in the Universe. It's going to take holding one another's hand, taking it one day at a time, acting "as if" until we "get it," working the steps, using the tools and, my friends, it's going to absolutely, positively take falling down on our knees, admitting that we are powerless and saying, perhaps with tears streaming down our face, to that "Power" greater than ourselves, that WE GIVE UP!!!!!!!! That we cannot do it alone. That we need help. That we are not able to go on like this.
Cautiously .... timidly .... untrustingly, perhaps, ..... we begin to "turn it over." We reach out to that enigma that some of us call God .... and we feel suddenly that everything we've ever worried about has been lifted from our very souls. And when that happens, my friends, we have taken that beautiful Second Step ....... and are ready to move on to the third.
Please help me to know
that in whatever form we
have You to be ....
That your arms encircle us ...
And we are safe.
Two new meetings are beginning in the next few days in Stepping Stones, AOL's OA Meeting Room.
Starting Friday, January 5, there is an OA Newcomer's/Step One Study Meeting each Friday at 8:00 pm ET. The focus of this meeting is on Step One: "We admitted we were powerless over food -- that our lives had become unmanageable." This is a focus meeting, but in accordance with the third tradition of OA it is open to anyone.
Starting Tuesday, January 9, there's a Relapse and Recovery Meeting each Tuesday at 10:00 pm ET. This meeting focuses on the special issues facing those who are or have been in relapse. This is a focus meeting, but in accordance with the third tradition of OA it is open to anyone.
If you have access to AOL and have never been to a meeting in Stepping Stones, you can get there via Keyword: A&R > Chats/Meetings> OA Meetings. This will take you to the Stepping Stones Foyer. Click on the "doors" and you're in the Meeting Room.
HOST AnR Pax
Assistant Team Leader
Meetings & Chat