A Wellspring of Hope
Newsletter of The Recovery Group
December 2003
Volume 5, Issue 12
ser*en*dip*i*ty ~ (noun) First appeared 1754:
the faculty or phenomenon of finding
valuable or agreeable things not sought for.
PLEASE SEND LETTERS TO THE EDITOR TO:
SerendipityNewsletter@yahoo.com
with a Subject of 'Letter to the Editor'
SerendipityNewsletter@yahoo.com
with a Subject of 'Serendipity Article'
TO VIEW Serendipity ONLINE, PLEASE VISIT:
The Serendipity Archives
From Our Editor
Founder's Corner
From the TRG Administration
From Our ODAT Committee
From The Recovery Loops Coordinator
From Our TRG Sponsor Program
Letters to the Editor
Kids' Corner
The Twelve Steps of OA ~ Adapted for Kids
For Our Teens
December Loop Spotlights:
Relapse and Recovery
Relationships and Recovery
Silver Recovery
Spending and Recovery
Recovery Writers' Series
From the Literature
Recovery Meditations Calendar
The Recovery Group Online Meetings
Overeaters Anonymous Contacts
Recovery Group Contacts
Serenity Prayer
Dear Serendipity Readers,
The Recovery Group is enjoying one of the most peaceful times in its
history. A blanket of serenity seems to have been spread from one end
of us to the other, resulting in our loops, studies, programs and
meetings quietly humming along with experienced and dedicated Trusted
Servants doing their jobs.
THE ODAT/DISCOVERY LOOPS
Hello from the Recovery Loops.
Dear Friends,
Please see the following web sites for information concerning loops
which exist to help kids with eating problems.
STEP 1: We told ourselves that we didn't eat like other boys and girls
and that we could not stop eating when we wanted. We felt different.
RELAPSE AND RECOVERY
SILVER RECOVERY
In this column we bring you shares from Recovery Meditations,
Odyssey, Danny's "Letters To God", Journey to Recovery, Reflections,
The Promises and many others. This month we continue highlighting
"Recovery Inspirations", a collection of twenty different writings
which we hope will inspire you. Most of the inspirations are unknown,
so if you can identify the author of any, please let us know so the
appropriate credit can be given. The inspiration we have chosen
to highlight this month is called "The Present", a
topic appropriate to the holiday season in which we now find ourselves.
~ FROM OUR EDITOR ~
December...the last month of the calendar year....the month for the
holidays of Christmas, Hannukah and Kwanzaa....a festive season...
full of pretty lights, decorations and the fun of sharing gifts with
friends and loved ones. The holidays are a wonderful time, but for
recovering compulsive overeaters such as ourselves, they can also pose
a problem. It is precisely at this time of year, when we are dealing
with the stresses of extra food and the time crunch of "doing it all",
that we are glad to be recovering COEs, with the 12-steps and tools of
recovery which we have available to us to get us through sanely, and
"in one piece".
I hope this issue of Serendipity helps you center on your recovery
during this time of the year. We can enjoy them, but we must depend
on the tools of recovery as we travel through the upcoming days.
Service is one tool which has a constant presence in The Recovery
Group. Whether it be hearing of those who are volunteering their
service to a loop, or of one who has given many years of service and
recognizes the health in stepping down in order to "make room" for
new blood, I am reminded that TRG absolutely cannot survive without
service. I hope that our gift to TRG this year will be to serve, in
one capacity or another; there are lots of opportunities. If you
would like to let others know how giving service to TRG has helped
your recovery, please do so in a Letter to the Editor. I'll be happy
to print all those that come my way in the January 2004 issue!
Whatever holiday you will be celebrating this month, or even if you
will not be celebrating any holidays at all, I hope the month of
December is kind to you as your travel your route to recovery.
Love in recovery to you all,
Marty
Editor, SERENDIPITY
Newsletter of The Recovery Group
~ FOUNDER'S CORNER ~
~ HOLIDAY EMOTIONS ~
"God does not play dice with the universe."
How did it all happen? Are there really no coincidences? Where and
when did it begin ... and how will it all end? Or will it never? These
questions and others will be on our minds as we find ourselves in the
most emotionally treacherous months of the year for addicts. Even
though our Twelve Step program has prepared us well for this, the
holidays present things which cause us to ponder life more than usual.
We have time off ... we spend it surrounded by people and things that
trigger our deepest and most private emotions. Some of these emotions
are wonderful ~ some are not.
. . . . Albert Einstein
We try to accept the randomness of life ... there are no coincidences ...
or perhaps everything is a coincidence. Somehow knowing that there is a
Greater Power handling things, allows us the freedom to put aside past
hurts and use our energy to combat holiday emotions rather than succumb
to them. One might say that believing in randomness is simply a way of
giving up, that admitting powerlessness is wimpish. Somehow, I don't
think so.
Happy Holidays, dear loopies!
@-}-}-}------
Love in recovery,
Mari
~ FROM THE TRG ADMINISTRATION ~
Members of the loops are beginning to feel more and more that they have
a second home; we've noticed many are focusing and participating more
in a home loop rather than spreading themselves among a lot of loops and
really participating in none. The programs have much vitality, and as
we approach 2004, we are reminded that our Step and Big Book studies
have both had extraordinary years. Probably the biggest surprise of
all has been the meetings. The Recovery Meeting Leaders have gone far
beyond what we could have ever imagined in their quest to provide members
around the world 56 meetings a week every three hours of every day. The
ODAT, Discovery and Recovery Loops are exciting to watch, and Serendipity,
Meditations the Writer's Series and the Sponsor Program are making us all
so very proud. TRG Adm has an overview of every aspect of The Recovery
Group, and during this season which is so special to many of us, wants
to thank those who make it all possible by offering to be Trusted Servants.
All of us who serve you, wish to express our gratitude to you for giving
us the privilege to serve .... and to wish you and those you love the
happiest holidays ever.
TRGADM administrators
TRGAdm@TheRecoveryGroup.org
~ FROM OUR ODAT COMMITTEE ~
The ODAT Loops are Twelve Step Special Focus Loops and a very
important part of the Recovery Group Community.
There are a few loops which can be very quiet and some which are
thriving beautifully. I wish you could see what I see ... the recovery,
the support of each other, the participation by so many. It touches my
heart to be able to help such special people. We are a family, that
much is evident and I am proud to a part of our family of choice.
If you would like to review our dozens of loops, read the mission
statements and, perhaps, even join one, we extend an invitation to you
to visit our website, given below.
On behalf of all the Trusted Servants of the ODAT Loops, may I take
this opportunity to thank you for your loving support this past year;
we wish you all the very best for the festive season.
In loving service,
Marl and The Trusted Servants of ODAT
http://www.TheRecoveryGroup.org/odat/index.html
It's been exciting to see new people subscribe to the loops. Cody has
agreed to coordinate Anorexia & Bulimia, and she has breathed new life
into that important loop. Thanks to Lynne and Rynn for their previous
service.
I am happy to be in contact with so many people working the program to
the best of their abilities.
Dodee (One day at a time since April 30th of '87)
Coordinator of The Recovery Loops
RecoveryLoopsAdm@lists.TheRecoveryGroup.org
As most of you realize, it is possible for The Recovery Group (TRG)
members to find online sponsors through our Sponsor's Program.
Throughout the month we send notices to all of The Recovery Loops
explaining our program so that newcomers will have all the information
needed to find an online sponsor.
As a tool, Sponsorship allows members to find a person to help guide and
encourage him/her as they work the 12 steps of recovery.
"Sponsors are members who are living the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions
to the best of their ability. They are willing to share their recovery
with other members of the Fellowship and are committed to abstinence.
We ask a sponsor to help us through our program of recovery on all three
levels: physical, emotional and spiritual. By working with other members
and sharing their experience, strength and hope, sponsors continually
renew and reaffirm their own recovery. Sponsors share their program up
to the level of their own experience.
Ours is a program of attraction; find a sponsor who has what you want,
and ask that person how he or she is achieving it. A member may work
with more than one sponsor and may change sponsors at will."
We never again need to be alone as we trudge the Road of Happy Destiny!
With love and great JOY in service,
Patt and Dreena
TRGSponsor Coordinators
NOTE:
To find out about the Recovery Sponsor Program go to:
http://recovery.hiwaay.net/sponsors.html, or write:
TRGSponsorAdm@yahoogroups.com
If you wish to become a Recovery Sponsor please write to:
Sponsors@TheRecoveryGroup.org.
SUBMITTING LETTERS
Letters to the Editor are encouraged and welcomed.
Please send your letter to
SerendipityNewsletter@yahoo.com.
Please put 'Letter to the Editor' in the subject line.
is a loop that offers help with eating disorders; a place where kids
are welcomed with open arms and listened to by other kids with the
same sort of problems. What these kids cannot do alone, they _can_
do together.
To find out more, please visit:
http://recovery.hiwaay.net/discovery/kids/index.html
You can also find Kids and Discovery at:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/KidsAndDiscovery/. You can join from
these pages, too!
is a loop for parents who have children with eating problems.
It is a place for them to share and discuss the problems their
children are experiencing. For more information, please see:
http://recovery.hiwaay.net/cokids/index.html.
~ THE TWELVE STEPS OF OA, ADAPTED FOR KIDS ~
STEP 2: We thought that God could help us stop thinking about food so
much.
STEP 3: We decided to stop worrying about food and let God help us with
our problems. (Some people use the words Higher Power instead of God.)
STEP 4: We wrote down everything we ever did that bothered us.
STEP 5: We read our list to God (Higher Power), then to a person who
cares about us.
STEP 6: We felt ready for God to take away the sad or upsetting things
we do.
STEP 7: We honestly asked our Higher Power to take away the sad or
upsetting things we do.
STEP 8: We wrote down the names of people we had hurt and felt ready
to say we were sorry.
STEP 9: We told these people that we were sorry, unless it would hurt
them or others. We tried to make up for what we had done.
STEP 10: Every day we thought about how we acted and how we could
improve..
STEP 11: We asked God what to do and for help to do it.
STEP 12: Because it had helped us, we told people about OA and the
twelve steps when they asked. We kept using the steps everyday.
Hi!
TeensODAT, a small and intimate group, would love more participation!
In particular, someone is needed who can be there for the teens who
check in, feeling scared and alone, but slip away again if they feel
no one is hearing them. If you feel you could be that someone, who
could "hug", listen to, and talk with these shy, scared teens, please
join the group, at:
TeensODAT-subscribe-request@lists.therecoverygroup.org
. (Just send an empty email to this address, and the proper process will be set in motion.)
Also, if anyone feels able to help as co-coordinator of this very
special loop, please do contact:
dietrich12000@yahoo.com.
Love,
Marl
Coordinator
TeensODAT
[ Editor's note: For information, please see these web pages:
http://recovery.hiwaay.net/special/teens.html and
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/TeensODAT. ]
~ DECEMBER LOOP SPOTLIGHTS ~
"Relapse and Recovery" - sounds like a bunch of people who have failed.
But, it is far from that; our members have just not found the way to be
abstinent quite yet. We are searching for answers to our questions.
We do not judge each other. We encourage one another by posting both
good and bad. We become a "family" where some of us do not have
someone rooting for us in our corner. We are not required to post
every day, but some do. I myself have grown much closer to the enduring
goal of "abstinence", but not on a full time basis. If your recovery
is not where you want it to be, we encourage you to join us. This time
of year, the holidays, can be taxing on your recovery. When I write to
new members I always say --"I may be down, but I'm a long ways from
being out".
Yours in recovery
Mickie, COE, Greeter, Sponsor
To find out more, please visit:
http://recovery.hiwaay.net/special/relapse.html or
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/RelapseAndRecovery/
To join, please send a blank email to:
RelapseAndRecovery-subscribe-request@lists.therecoverygroup.org.
RELATIONSHIPS ODAT
What's on our minds and in our hearts is pretty easily interpreted by
the people sharing our lives. Our demeanour, our attitude, and our
gestures, speak loud and clear. The relationships we have with others
mirror what is happening within ourselves.
Most of us, whether we are new, or not so new, to Recovery crave control.
We think we would find lasting happiness if only others would do what
we want. But wringing our hands over their independence won't change
anything. On the contrary; addressing our own behaviour, our own
thinking, our own attitudes can encourage the very behaviour we tried
to demand all along. This is one of the miracles that comes from working
this program.
The Relationships ODAT Loop is a Twelve Step Discussion Loop for
compulsive eaters who are dealing with relationship issues. Here, we
invite you to share your thoughts, concerns, and feelings, in a safe
and loving environment. We all know how difficult it can be to live
in an unhappy or unsettled relationship, and we care. This loop is a
place where you will have a safe haven (24/7) in which you can interact
with others who are suffering. We provide a place to both work our own
recovery program and to carry that message to others. We are here
together to build one another up ... to accept each of us as we are ...
to support each other ... and not to judge one another.
We offer you safety and serenity.
Please join us at Relationships ODAT. The discussion is frank and
oftentimes moving; always warm, loving and supportive. To join just go
to:
http://recovery.hiwaay.net/special/relationships.html.
To read more, please visit:
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/RelationshipsODAT/,
Danielle, Coordinator
RelationshipsODAT
The Silver Recovery Loop is for those men and women who are compulsive
eaters and over fifty. Young in heart and full of spirit, members of
Silver Recovery want a safe environment to discuss their disease; a
fellowship of others who have had similar experiences. We are a Twelve
Step Recovery loop and the only requirement for joining is to have a
desire to quit eating compulsively.
Most of us have been compulsive eaters much of our lives. In addition
to living through a disease that has affected the quality of our lives,
we have also reached an age where we now realize that many of the things
we did in our youth exacerbated that disease. The Big Book tells us
that we should not regret the past; what many of us find ourselves doing
now is using our past mistakes as learning tools and are the happiest
we have ever been in our lives.
To read more about Silver Recovery, please visit:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/SilverRecovery/ or
http://recovery.hiwaay.net/special/silver.html
If you would like to join this loop, to experience its special
sense of family, please send an empty email to:
SilverRecovery-subscribe-request@lists.therecoverygroup.org.
SPENDING ODAT
"Spending ODAT" is a loop for recovering Compulsive Overeaters (COEs)
who have problems with spending money. It seems that the two go
hand-in-hand, so we study both our compulsive eating and our compulsive
spending. As we proceed into recovery, the issue of how much money
we spend on junk (stuff we don't really need) comes to light. Spending
ODAT is a 12-Step special focus group which concentrates on not
spending, one day at a time. We also see how we spent money on our
addiction: food. Another concern of ours is to see that, although
there is more money now, we still have to watch how we spend it.
If you would like to subscribe, or know someone who would benefit
from this loop, simply send a blank e-mail to:
SpendingODAT-subscribe-request@lists.therecoverygroup.org.
Of course, you can also visit our web page at:
http://recovery.hiwaay.net/odat/spending/index.html or
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/SpendingODAT/
Mary, Coordinator
~ Recovery Inspirations ~
Stella had been prepared for her husband's death. Since the doctor's
pronouncement of terminal cancer, they had both faced the inevitable,
striving to make the most of their remaining time together. Dave's
financial affairs had always been in order. There were no new burdens
in her widowed state. It was just the awful aloneness...the lack of
purpose to her days.
They had been a childless couple. It had been their choice. Their
lives had been so full and rich. They had been content with busy
careers, and with each other. They had many friends. Had. That was the
operative word these days. It was bad enough losing the one person you
loved with all your heart. But over the past few years, she and Dave
repeatedly had to cope with the deaths of their friends and relations.
They were all of an age - an age when human bodies began giving up.
Dying. Face it -- they were old!
And now, approaching the first Christmas without Dave, Stella was all
too aware she would be on her own. With shaky fingers, she lowered the
volume of her radio so that the Christmas music became a muted
background. To her surprise, she saw that the mail had come. With
the inevitable wince of pain from her arthritis, she bent to retrieve
the white envelopes from the floor. She sat on the piano bench to open
them.
They were mostly Christmas cards, and her sad eyes smiled at the
familiarity of the traditional scenes and at the loving messages inside.
She arranged them among the others on the piano top. In her entire
house, they were the only seasonal decoration. The holiday was less
than a week away, but she just did not have the heart to put up a silly
tree, or even set up the stable that Dave had built with his own hands.
Suddenly engulfed by the loneliness of it all, Stella buried her face
in her hands, and let the tears come. How would she possibly get through
Christmas and the winter beyond it!
The ring of the doorbell was so unexpected that Stella had to stifle a
small scream of surprise. Now who could possibly be calling on her?
She opened the wooden door and stared through the screened window of
the storm door with consternation. On her front porch, stood a strange,
young man, whose head was barely visible above the large carton in his
arms. She peered beyond him to the driveway, but there was nothing
about the small car to give clue to his identity. Summoning courage,
the elderly lady opened the door slightly and he stepped sideways to
speak into the space.
"Mrs. Meadows?" She nodded. He continued, "I have a package for you."
Curiosity drove caution from her mind. She pushed the door open, and he
entered. Smiling, he placed his burden carefully on the floor and stood
to retrieve an envelope that protruded from his pocket. As he handed it
to her, a sound came from the box. Stella jumped. The man laughed in
apology and bent to straighten up the cardboard flaps, holding them
open in an invitation for her to peek inside.
It was a dog! To be more exact, a golden Labrador retriever puppy. As
the gentleman lifted its squirming body up into his arms, he explained,
"This is for you, ma'am. He's six weeks old and completely housebroken."
The young pup wiggled in happiness at being released from captivity and
thrust ecstatic, wet kisses in the direction of the young man's face.
"We were supposed to deliver him on Christmas Eve," he continued with
some difficulty, as he strove to rescue his chin from the wet little
tongue, "but the staff at the kennels start their holidays tomorrow.
Hope you don't mind an early present."
Shock had stolen her ability to think clearly. Unable to form coherent
sentences, she stammered, "But ... I don't ... I mean ... who..?"
The young fellow set the puppy down on the doormat between them and then
reached out a finger to tap the envelope she was still holding. "There's
a letter in there that explains everything pretty much. The dog was
bought last July while her mother was still pregnant. It was meant to
be a Christmas gift."
Unbelievably, the stranger was turning to go. Desperation forced the
words from her lips. "But who...who bought it? Pausing in the open
doorway, he replied, "Your husband, ma'am." And then he was gone.
It was all in the letter. Forgetting the puppy entirely at the sight
of the familiar handwriting, Stella had walked like a sleepwalker to
her chair by the window. She forced her tear-filled eyes to read her
husband's words. He had written it three weeks before his death and had
left it with the kennel owners to be delivered along with the puppy as
his last Christmas gift to her. It was full of love and encouragement
and admonishments to be strong. He vowed that he was waiting for the
day when she would join him. And he had sent her this young animal to
keep her company until then.
Remembering the little creature for the first time, she was surprised
to find him quietly looking up at her, his small panting mouth
resembling a comic smile. Stella put the pages aside and reached for
the bundle of golden fur. She had thought that he would be heavier,
but he was only the size and weight of a sofa pillow. And so soft and
warm. She cradled him in her arms and he licked her jawbone, then
cuddled into the hollow of her neck. The tears began anew at this
exchange of affection and the dog endured her crying without moving.
Finally, Stella lowered him to her lap, where she regarded him solemnly.
She wiped vaguely at her wet cheeks, then somehow mustered a smile.
"Well, little guy, I guess it's you and me." His pink tongue panted in
agreement. Stella's smile strengthened and her gaze shifted sideways to
the window. Dusk had fallen. Through fluffy flakes that were now
drifting down, she saw the cheery Christmas lights that edged the roof
lines of her neighbors' homes. The strains of "Joy to the World"
floated in from the kitchen.
Suddenly Stella felt the most amazing sensation of peace and benediction
washing over her. It was like being enfolded in a loving embrace. Her
heart beat painfully, but it was with joy and wonder, not grief or
loneliness. She need never feel alone again. Returning her attention to
the dog, she spoke to him. "You know, fella, I have a box in the
basement that I think you'd like. There's a tree in it and some
decorations and lights that will impress you like crazy! And I think
I can find that old stable down there, too. What d'ya say we go hunt
it up?" The puppy barked happily in agreement, as if he understood
every word. Stella got up, placed the puppy on the floor and together
they went down to the basement, ready to make a Christmas together.
Author Unknown
~ FROM THE LITERATURE ~
We never apologize to anyone for depending upon our Creator. We can
laugh at those who think spirituality the way of weakness.
Paradoxically, it is the way of strength. The verdict of the ages is
that faith means courage. All men of faith have courage. They trust
their God. We never apologize for God. Instead we let Him demonstrate,
through us, what He can do. We ask Him to remove our fear and direct
our attention to what He would have us be. At once, we commence to
outgrow fear.
AABB, P. 68 (all editions)
~ RECOVERY MEDITATIONS ~
~
December Meditations Calendar ~
(http://www.therecoverygroup.org/meditations/december.html)
THE RECOVERY GROUP ONLINE MEETINGS
Telephone 505-891-2664
~~ The Serenity Prayer ~~
What we could never do alone ~
One day at a time, ~ Disclaimer
Volume 5 Issue 12 ©
Copyright 2003 THE RECOVERY GROUP All rights reserved.
~ THE RECOVERY GROUP MEETINGS ~
Dear Family:
The OA program offers its members a new pattern of living. One of the
basic elements of that new pattern is regular meetings and meeting
attendance. For the newcomer, living without Compulsive Overeating (COE)
is a brand new experience. All that once was familiar is changed, and
the old people, places and things that served as props on the stage of
their lives are gone. New stresses appear, no longer masked or deadened
by the food. That's why we suggest that newcomers attend a meeting every
day. No matter what comes up, no matter how crazy their day gets, we
know that a daily meeting will await them. No day should go by without
the relief which our fellowship offers.
Then there are the old timers. No matter how long we are in Recovery we
must attend regular meetings to reinforce our identity as *recovering*
COEs, and each meeting helps us get that much further away from becoming
active in our addiction again.
Meetings are a huge part of our new pattern of living.
We attend meetings for a variety of reasons: sometimes we go to meetings
to share our experience, strength and hope with newer members; sometimes
we go just to connect with our friends; and sometimes we go just because
we need a hug (even a cyber hug will do on those days.) Occasionally,
we leave a meeting and realize that we really haven't retained a word
that was said, but for some reason we still feel better. The atmosphere
of love and joy that fills our meetings has kept us abstinent another
day. No matter how hectic our schedule, meeting attendance must be a
priority.
Our meetings are held every three hours starting at Midnight EST, (12
midnight, 3AM, 6AM, 9AM, 12 noon, 3PM, 6PM, and 9PM. You can get there
through the "Blue Door" at:
http://recovery.hiwaay.net/, or directly, at:
http://therecoverygroup.org/meetings/index.html.
For AOL members, there is a direct link to #Recovery:
#Recovery on StarChat.Network. AOL users need to first go
to the Meeting website and look at the special instructions
for AOL users before they can fully participate in the
meetings or they can go to:
http://www.starchat.net/aol.php.
#Recovery is the meeting room for Recovery Group. There
is a doorway to #Recovery on the Recovery Group website,
www.therecoverygroup.org. The meeting room can be directly
accessed by going to either of these sites:
http://www.starchat.net/recovery
or
http://www.starchat.net/chat/?chan=recovery.
You can find other helpful information, including on-line
meeting protocols at:
http://recovery.hiwaay.net/support/meetings.html.
If you wish to offer your time to lead a meeting, please send an email to:
Love in service,
MtgAdm@lists.TheRecoveryGroup.org.
We will get back to you as quickly as possible.
Danielle,
Meetings Committee Chairperson
~ OVEREATERS ANONYMOUS CONTACTS ~
World Service Office (WSO)
6075 Zenith Ct. NE
PO Box 44020
Rio Rancho, NM 87124
USA
Fax: 505-891-4320
http://www.overeatersanonymous.org/index.htm
E-Mail Address ~
info@overeatersanonymous.org
"I put my hand in yours ...
and together we can do what we could never do alone."
~ Rozanne, OA CoFounder ~
Is the realization that recovery begins when we find one another."
Grant us the SERENITY to accept the things we cannot change;
The COURAGE to change the things we can;
And the WISDOM to know the difference.
We can do together.
One step at a time.
The Recovery Group and our newsletter has as its mission and purpose that of carrying
the message of recovery to those who suffer from the disease of compulsive eating.
We are an anonymous organization and follow the 12 Steps and 12 Traditions of
Overeaters Anonymous; however, we are not affiliated with that group. Your articles,
announcements and information are welcome. All opinions in this newsletter represent
only the opinions of the writers and not necessarily that of The Recovery Group or OA,
Inc.