"Our way is not soft grass, it's a mountain path with lots of rocks. But it goes upward, forward, toward the sun."

    . . . Ruth Westheimer

I've been in a Twelve Step program for a while now. I look back and sometimes I think how easy the journey has been to find the peace, serenity and love I've been given, thanks to the program. Just as I brought much denial with me when I joined, apparently I'm still in some denial. I'm so grateful to be where I am today that I have forgotten the struggles I've faced to get here.

No wonder some newcomers look at longtimers and think they'll never be able to get there! When I stretch my memory, I remember running headlong into the Fourth Step, thinking it the scariest thing I'd ever faced in my life. I know that first one was traumatic -- holding my pencil to do it, getting the first page down, admitting so many things that had been shaming me for decades. I usually don't think about that today. Now I know firsthand the cleansing of a good Fourth Step, and I look forward to them as I peel the onion and find more defects.

When I look back over my journey, I can remember sitting in an emergency room using the slogan "One Day at a Time" for the first time. I changed "one day" to "five minutes" because it was all I could handle. But it got me through that day and the next two days. A few years ago I read that the slogans are the handrails to the Steps. I wish I'd known that before. For me, to use that slogan when I did was an act of faith, and at the time my faith was shaky.

Maybe the fact that I have faith now, having proved to my satisfaction that there is a Higher Power out there wanting the best for me, is why I look back on my journey and have a hard time finding the struggles. Maybe it's my new attitude of gratitude; it keeps me looking to the positive and not the negative. Whatever the reason, I'd like to say that I struggled in the program, but it was worth it.

ONE DAY AT A TIME ...
I will remember to turn to the program to help maintain my peace and serenity, especially through the bad times.

FOUNDER'S CORNER ~ BEGINNINGS ~

"The distance is nothing; it's only the first step that is difficult."
     --Marquise du Deffand

I don't know if any of you are like me or not ... but I have a difficult time getting started with things sometimes. This wouldn't be so bad ... except that when I get started with things I also have a difficult time stopping. The latter is called tenacity or possibly compulsive. The first could be called laziness or inertia.

Today our community has two "beginnings." They are both important and I hope that many of you will see their worth. If you have a tendency to not take that "first step" in things, then I hope you'll stop reading this right now and do one of two things:

1. If you're a newcomer reading this, pull out your keyboard and send a blank email to:

I used to inhale my food. Most of the time I was 1/2 or 3/4 of the way through my meal before even slowing down enough to really taste it.

When I was in a restaurant, I would order based on how much food I would get, as opposed to what I really had a taste for. Only after inhaling most all that food could I begin to relax, think straight, and regret my decisions.

Of course, I was deep into the disease... and like most, I was ashamed of my eating behavior, so I only indulged publicly under certain circumstances, and usually kept my binging to myself.

For me, finding abstinence was like a miracle... because abstinence counts even when nobody is looking.

Even so, sometimes when I am feeling emotional, I have to take a few deep breaths, exhale slowly and ask myself, is this really hunger, or am I wanting to eat over my emotions?

When I start to feel anger or resentment start to rise, I take a deep breath and ask myself.... am I angry because of some unmet expectation... and, are my expectations rational?

When I am feeling afraid, not wanting to go, having no confidence in myself, I try to take a few deep breaths, and remind myself that the fear is all in my head, and I have nothing to lose by exploring my fear if I am already feeling the fear. Also, I try to remind myself that most of the time, my fears turned out to be all in my head, and not based on truth or fact.

When I am feeling low, down on myself, full of self-pity, unlovable, alone and depressed, I take a few deep breaths and try to remind myself that this will pass, the negativity is just part of the disease, and I need to continue on and act "as if" until the unwarranted emotion passes. I need to remind myself of my accomplishments, and continue to learn to be my own best friend.

Every day, I try to take my breathing to the next level, and spend some time meditating/relaxing with my thoughts. It helps quiet my mind, gather wisdom, recognize truth, and find peace. It helps me make decisions, take action, and affect my outcome.

Love in service,
Marilyn (Marils)

We have just completed a 12 step study presented by Shlomo and will be beginning a new study April 1, on the Working The Steps list.

Thank you so much for being the leader of a very enlightening study these past four months, Shlomo.

The leader for this quarter will be John. John has been around the Recovery Group for quite some time and previously led one of our Step Studies in 2001. It's not too late to join John and work the steps. Just send an email to this address:

The Recovery Loops Division is made up of TRG's Twelve-step general sharing support groups. Our common mission is to provide a safe and supportive space for anyone who wants to recover from the disease of compulsive eating to share their experience, strength, and hope with others. In addition, some of these loops also have a special focus. The loops that make up this Division are: Anorexia and Bulimia, The Big Book, 200 Plus, Journey to Recovery, Meditations, OA Friends, OA Newcomers, OA Recovery, Relapse, Sponsor-Sponsee-Talk, Working the Steps ("WTS"), and WTS Weekly.

WTS will be beginning a new 12-Step Study in April. We hope that many of you will be joining us for this study. As always many of the participants in this study will be looking for sponsors to help guide them through the Steps. Why not improve your own recovery by sponsoring another?

Several of the Recovery Group Loops are in need of coordinators. I know that giving service by being a coordinator of a loop has added a lot to my own recovery and hope that you will consider this opportunity to give service. If you are interested in becoming a coordinator, please contact me at: the address below.
Respectfully submitted,

CherylS, Chair
The Recovery Group Loops Division

Hello, everyone.

*Warning: food mentioned*

Hello from Abstinent Kitchen, Discovery Division.

This month I thought I'd include two sample recipes for anyone interested in vegetarian meals. I've gotten more interested because of various medical conditions as well as being a recovering COE. All of these you can find plus many others by going to the Discovery Division, clicking on the Abstinent Kitchen and then choosing the low-fat recipes and clicking the vegetarian site there.

The url is:

It is now the season of SPRING in some parts of the world. During this delight-filled time of year, we are surrounded by new growth and life of all kinds! What a boost this is after the long winter season!!

How is your recovery this SPRING Season? Could you use a boost of new life? Why not become a TRG Sponsor, and embrace the gift of sharing your recovery with another member?

The OA tools say: "By working with other members of OA and sharing their experience, strength and hope, sponsors continually renew and reaffirm their own recovery. Sponsors share their program up to the level of their own experience."

Is today the day you want to "renew and reaffirm" your recovery? Sharing your 12 step experience through sponsoring is like a breath of fresh air for your recovery!!

JUST SAY YES TODAY!!!!!!

Please write to us at the address given below. We will get you the information you need to become a TRG Sponsor Today.

TRG Sponsor Coordinators
       Patt and Cate
       TRG Sponsor Coordinators

~ MEET Sam.~

Twenty-six year old Sam hails to us from Toronto, Ontario Canada; and like many who attend these online meetings, finds that without an OA meeting in his local area, commuting back and forth from meetings can be a frustrating and time-consuming experience.

Sam, what did you think when you attended your first online meeting?

"I thought wow this is NEAT! I wish I found out about online meetings a long time ago, I would be more likey to be a part of it as I am online all the time... rather than having to commit myself to Sunday mornings at an f2f that takes over an hour to get to by public transportation."

"The flexiblity of the meetings, having one every three hours is wonderful, I can look at my clock and just jump in anytime I have free... but I really like the support you get from here."

Sam, is there anything that you would like to say to the folks that come to The Recovery Group?

"Yes. 'You have found the right place, support, and unconditional love! Give it a chance to work the program and it will work for you. I have just found my sponsor and I am starting the process myself, so I am excited.' "

OA Newcomers is pleased to announce a new Orientation Session which will begin April 1 and end June 30.

OA Newcomers provides Newcomers with a temporary haven before they move on to a permanent home loop. While at OANewcomers, members participate in an Orientation Program in which they are introduced to The Recovery Group and 12 Step basics. The orientation period lasts for 12 intensive weeks of orientation during which time the newcomers are encouraged to ask questions and are introduced to various topics.

We invite Guest Speakers to present the following topics; Basics; Netiquette, Subscriptions, tips, what to do first, etc., The Twelve Steps, spirituality, the Twelve Traditions, Sponsors, On-line and Face-to-Face meetings, The Recovery Group Loops, Studies and Services, Food Plans, The Three Legged Stool, Literature with a focus on the OA 12 & 12, Big Book and TRG writings, Recovery Topics on The Recovery Website, Service and How to Share appropriately F2F and on Home Loop. The speakers send their articles, that includes questions for review, to the loop. The newcomers then post their responses to the loop, ask questions, discuss the topics,.. etc.

We also invite the Coordinators from OA Friends, OA Recovery, and Journey to Recovery to share about those loops as they will become the 12 Step Home loop for many of the Newcomers when they move on from OANewcomers.

In addition to the three-month orientation, we have a Sponsor Program for newcomers and special Newcomer Meetings. We urge all members of our Newcomers' Orientation Group to choose a sponsor soon after they arrive and to attend as many Newcomer Meetings as possible.

PLEASE SPREAD THE WORD TO ALL NEWCOMERS WHO NEED US. ORIENTATION BEGINS APRIL 1ST.

Thank you.
In Loving Service,
The Trusted Servants of TRG

Boy is this hard to do, but nothing pays off like doing so! I just had a tiff with my husband. We are under a great deal of stress right now and some it boiled over for both of us.

The wonderful thing is that I have a program and within moments I could see where I had been wrong and was able to admit it and apologize. I did not lead with the chin, but asked him if he was calmed down yet and he said yes. We can move on with the rest of the night together and we tackle solving the issue when we are both in a better frame of mind to do so.

I do not have to eat over this, stuff my anger, cave in on myself with shame, relive the incident over and over or blame him over and over. It is finished! Wow!

Thank God for the 12 steps and for living in steps 10, 11 and 12.

Love,
Lanaya

Do you take time each day to just be with yourself and your HP? While I started praying right off the bat, this notion of spending quiet time with myself and my HP seemed a bit unnerving. Thoughts continued to race through my head at a million miles per second, so I would quickly give up.

Lately, however, I have taken some steps toward having this quiet time by experimenting with things that worked for me. I have continued to try to find that quiet time, and for me, it is starting to come. Thoughts often flitter in and out of my head but I find myself slowly getting better at listening to what my HP is telling me. I sit in a comfortable chair with a blanket on my lap, a candle lit on the table and the lights off. The chair rocks, so I rock lightly, occasionally, and just watch the flame flicker and dance. In this moment I feel held in the loving arms of my HP, and I know he is with me and will still keep trying to talk to me even when the thoughts roll through my mind.

Love and {{{hugs}}} in recovery,
     Karen

~ FROM THE TWELVE-STEP LITERATURE ~

~~ AN AA BIG BOOK READING~~

If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it -- then you are ready to take certain steps. At some of these we balked. We thought we could find an easier, softer way. But we could not. With all the earnestness at our command, we beg of you to be fearless and thorough from the very start. Some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely.     c. 2001 AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 58
With permission, Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

MY SHARE...

Thought to Consider:
    When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.

I really like this Big Book passage because it tells it like it IS! If we want what they have found, we have to go to any lengths, as they did, to get it! It's been nearly four years since I first found the Recovery Group Meetings. I was a very depressed, anxious, and frustrated person. When I got into the meeting, I knew that I had finally found "Home."

As we are doing the WTS Steps online right now, this passage became even more meaningful. I have gone thru the BB with greater depth than ever before, and I'm finding there's always more to learn!

Some of the detailed processes frustrated me and I wondered if I would ever get it done. But I remembered the line, you can't take the "easier and softer" way. This is a process that we never get "done." It is an ongoing daily life process - One Day at A Time. I'm so greatful I found it because I have now added more patience, serenity, and peace to my life than I ever thought possible.

Thank God for the Big Book text and all its rewards.

MUCH love in your Recovery,

    Myrlene (Big Book and Recovery Group Coordinator)