A Wellspring of Hope
Newsletter of The Recovery Group
April 2003
Volume 5, Issue 4
ser*en*dip*i*ty ~ (noun) First appeared 1754:
the faculty or phenomenon of finding
valuable or agreeable things not sought for.
PLEASE SEND LETTERS TO THE EDITOR TO:
SerendipityNewsletter@yahoo.com
with a Subject of 'Letter to the Editor'
SerendipityNewsletter@yahoo.com
with a Subject of 'Contribution'
TO VIEW Serendipity ONLINE, PLEASE VISIT:
The Serendipity Archives
Note: WTS "TWELVE STEPS IN TWELVE WEEKS"
STUDY BEGINS APRIL 1, 2003!!!
From Our Editor
From Our Founder
From Our Recovery Administrators
From Our ODAT Committee
Letters to the Editor
April Loop Spotlights
Teens'/Kids' Corner
Loop Concern: Children
Recovery Writers' Series
From the Literature
Recovery Meditations Calendar
The Recovery Group Meetings
Overeaters Anonymous Contacts
Recovery Group Contacts
Serenity Prayer
Greetings, Serendipity Readers!
Dear Serendipity Readers ~
Dear Members of The Recovery Group,
The ODAT/Discovery Loops
DrugAbuseODAT
Grey Sheet ODAT
~ FROM OUR EDITOR ~
Welcome to the April edition of our recovery newsletter.
Where I live, spring is doing its best to take over, giving
us a healthy mixture of showers and flowers. In truth, though,
we're still transitioning from cold weather to hot. And so,
I assume, it is for all Serendipity readers, no matter where we
live - this is a season of transition, either from cold weather
to hot, or hot to cold. In addition, most of us (as COEs) are
in a different type of transition, working the steps as we
transition from the old life into the new. Whether we are
old or young, newcomers to the program or oldtimers, we
share our stories of experience, strength and hope with
each other as our lives transition toward recovery.
Most of us already share within our loops and at meetings,
but Serendipity gives us a bonus - a vehicle with which we
can also share with the TRG membership at large! It is my
sincere hope that through your contributions and/or Letters
to the Editor, you will use Serendipity to this purpose.
Please send in your stories, personal thoughts and writings
that I can include in future issues.
Remember, Serendipity is your newsletter, so send in your
contributions today! I'm hoping that I'll soon have so many
to choose from that I'll need a holding file for them all!
Happy Spring; Happy Transitioning to you all!
Love in recovery,
Marty
Editor, SERENDIPITY
Newsletter of The Recovery Group
~ FOUNDER'S CORNER ~
~ 90 MEETINGS IN 90 DAYS ~
When someone told me that they owed their recovery to
attending 90 meetings in 90 days, I was intrigued. At that
time it was hard for me to even make two meetings a week
because I was new to program and wasn't aware yet that
recovery required giving one's all. The Big Book talks about
half-measures not working ... and how well I know that
now!
I later learned that there are many who have taken the
'90 meetings in 90 day pledge' and have had this change
their lives. What an opportunity we have here in the
Recovery Group to do this! Combined with face-to-face
meetings, our online meetings and working a food and
step program with a sponsor, there is no reason for
someone who is intent on getting well not to grab this
tiger that causes so much havoc in our lives by the tail
and discovering the joys of recovery.
Our meetings are at 9:30 Eastern Time each night in
#Recovery on the Starchat Channel on IRC. Each night
there is a different leader who will be happy to subscribe
you to her individual weekly meeting mini-newsletter for
bits of news, meetings topics in advance, etc. If you
need more information, please visit:
http://recovery.hiwaay.net/meetings/index.html
90 meetings in 90 days? If you make the choice to
do this, would you let us know? We'd like to check with
you in three months and see how you're doing.
Happy Springtime to all ~
@-}-}-}------
Love in recovery,
Mari
~ FROM OUR TRG ADMINISTRATORS ~
Spring is in the air in many parts of the United States.
The spring rains and warm sunshine are inviting forth the
bright spring flowers and budding branches. This is a
season of new beginnings! We invite you to take an
opportunity to experience some new beginnings in your
recovery this month. Perhaps you would like to attend
your first online meeting? Information on how you can
participate in a TRG meeting is available for you at:
http://recovery.hiwaay.net/meetings/index.html
Are you now ready to share your recovery through
sponsoring? If so, please write to the TRG Sponsor
Coordinator ~ Maureen ~
Sponsors@TheRecoveryGroup.org
Are you ready to share your recovery thoughts with others
by writing a Recovery Meditation? Information on the TRG
Meditation project can be found here:
http://recovery.hiwaay.net/meditations/index.html
Is it time to begin taking the steps of recovery? The WTS loop
begins its next Step Study this month - April, 2003! Why not
familiarize yourself with the information from the previous WTS
sessions? These are available from 1996 through the present :
http://recovery.hiwaay.net/wts/index.html
Each Day is a new Beginning in our Recovery. We wish each of
you a lovely spring season filled with new beginnings!
Cate and Patt, TRG Administrators
TRGAdm@TheRecoveryGroup.org
http://www.TheRecoveryGroup.org
~ FROM OUR ODAT ADMINISTRATION ~
The ODAT loops are busily pursuing recovery with the help
of many trusted servants and faithful loopies who write
wonderful ESH every day.
We have a new ODAT loop: Pregnancy and Motherhood. The name is
self-explanatory. If you are pregnant or a new mom out there who
could use some support during this time, please join us. Please see
http://recovery.hiwaay.net/odat/pregnancy/index.html for more
information. To subscribe, send a blank email to:
PregnancyAndMotherhoodODAT-subscribe-request@lists.therecoverygroup.org
Love to all,
Sande
ODAT Committee Chairperson
http://www.TheRecoveryGroup.org/odat/index.html
Kia ora (Greetings):
I am writing in response to Todd's questions of
recognition of the on-line loops as an OA tool. I have received a lot
of support from these loops on a daily basis in between meetings.
I live in a town that has one f2f meeting a week, however with the
loop it is like having an extra two meetings a day, every day. I would
love to talk about my esh at my f2f meeting where I have used this
tool, but have been warned/encouraged not to do this, because
it is not recognised by WSO. I would like WSO, or those who have
influence, to consider a motion for conscience decisions for this to
change.
I remain an abstinent OA member in recovery,
Hiria R, New Zealand
Dear Editor:
I am writing to you because I was very offended by a letter in the
March issue of Serendipity. The letter was from "turned off in
Missouri", and the writer insinuated that the photo album is a
break of anonymity and ended with a quote of "who wants to
see a bunch of fat people anyway." I have been in OA for
almost three years now (came in at my highest weight ever),
and have never felt anything but love and acceptance. I have
been a member of the Recovery Group for quite a while, too,
and have felt the same there: unconditional love and acceptance.
OA has given me my life back and I am very grateful for that.
But you know, whoever wrote that letter sounds exactly like
the people "out there" (in the real world.) When I am in the
OA rooms (whether f2f or online) I am in a whole other
world... we all are; a world of acceptance and love and
understanding. I cannot get that anywhere but OA.
When I found that letter in your newsletter I started to wonder
why you chose to put it in there. It hurt me, offended me and
made me feel very sad; sad that there is actually someone in
this wonderful fellowship who feels that way, sad that that
person chose to write that letter without first dealing with their
own personal issue, and sad that they are at a place where
they have to think and say mean things to hurt other people,
without even thinking about the effects it has on others.
I, for one, love the idea of the photo album. And by the pictures
on it, I can see I am not alone. As I understand the traditions,
you can not break your own anonymity. I am not trying to be rude
or anything, but that letter is something I would expect anywhere
in the world but OA. The last thing I want is OA to turn out like
all the other places I am running away from, places we all are
running away from. If we can not love and accept each other
(and ourselves) EXACTLY as we are in OA, where can we?
Aren't we supposed to love ourselves and want to look at
ourselves no matter how much we weigh? And the same goes
for each other. To make a statement like "who wants to look
at a bunch of fat people anyway" is not only rude, judgemental
and not accepting, but it is exactly the type of comment and
outlook in society that got me (as well as many others, I'm sure)
to OA in the first place.
PLEASE, let's leave those kinds of judgments and comments to the
outside world... that's where they belong. The only thing that
belongs in OA is unity, acceptance and love.
Cindy W.
Dear Editor:
A comment to the writer about the pictures. As with many
things, I am going to take what I want and leave the rest.
According to the Twelve Traditions, in the public media,
faces and last names should not be used if people state
they are members of OA. There may be room for debate as
to whether this website is the public media. There may be
room for debate as to whether by being a part of the Recovery
Group, I am stating I belong to OA. I don't know that I have
an answer. For myself, if requested, I would not have my
picture included. But for people that do choose to post their
pictures, thank you, HP, that most people viewing those pictures
on this site are nonjudgmental, and see the people as fellow travelers
on the road to recovery.
Keep up the good work; I am enjoying the newsletter.
Anonymous
(Editor's note: The Recovery Photo Album accessed via the
main page of the Recovery Website is private and can only be
accessed by members of TRG with a password.
Dear Editor:
Somewhere I read that we could join a group where
we could work on our childhood issues and bad family
experiences while growing up. Can you tell me where this
is??
Myrlene
A Reader ~ Israel
(Editors' note: There is currently no such group. However,
the administrators might consider such a loop if there is sufficient
interest.)
Letters to the Editor are encouraged and welcomed.
Please send your letter to
SerendipityNewsletter@yahoo.com.
Please put 'Letter to the Editor' in the subject line.
~ April LOOP SPOTLIGHTS ~
The Drug Abuse ODAT discussion group is more than just a
private and safe list in cyberspace. It is a place where those of
us with food compulsions who are also cross addicted to drugs
can meet with others who suffer and share our experience,
strength and hope with one another. It is a place where we can
feel at home, it can become our cyberspace family and where
we know that we will be heard and not judged. A place where
we can be anonymous ... and safe ... and accepted ... and loved.
A place where we all speak the same language ~ the language
of recovery. And a place, as the poet said, "where, when we
have to go there, they have to take us in."
Drug Abuse ODAT is not affiliated with Overeaters Anonymous, Inc. or
Narcotics Anonymous, Inc. Nevertheless, many of our members belong
to OA and NA and we have the Twelve Traditions as our guidelines.
An important part of our recovery program are the Twelve Steps and we
encourage the use of OA and NA literature. Drug Abuse and Recovery
has online meetings where there is no crosstalk and where we share
our experience, strength and hope with one another. The only
requirement for membership in DA and Recovery is the sincere desire
to stop using and eating compulsively.
Because this list is composed primarily of members of anonymous
groups, it is not a public medium of communication and thus members
may use their last names if they desire. Pseudonyms are also
acceptable. Readers of this list are urged to respect the anonymity
of the users of this list. What you read here, what you see here,
let it stay here. Please do not pass on the messages that are posted
to this list without first getting the permission of the person who originally
posted the message. You have the option of sending messages to the
entire list or to individuals privately. It is always a joy for the group to
see the posting of a new member and you will probably receive lots
of letters back welcoming you when you decide you would like to
introduce yourself.
To find out more, please visit
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/drugabuseODAT.
To join, please send a blank email to:
DrugAbuseODAT-subscribe-request@lists.therecoverygroup.org
Emotions ODAT is a quiet group, and sharing is low. Emotions are a
touchy subject and hard to talk about. My name is Mickie,
and I have been the coordinator of the Emotions group for about two years.
I am always available for those in need of
a friendly ear. Personally, I have found that emotions play a large
part of my recovery from compulsive overeating; finding my trigger
emotionsmade it easier to follow the 12 steps to recovery. Our
group is open to any one wishing to recover. To join, please
send a blank email to:
EmotionsODAT-subscribe-request@lists.therecoverygroup.org.
For more information please check out the following web site:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/EmotionsODAT/
To join, send an email to:
EmotionsODAT-subscribe-request@lists.therecoverygroup.org.
Before Overeaters Anonymous approved Dignity of Choice in regard to
plans of eating a number of years ago, there was what became widely
known as the Grey Sheet. There was nothing secret about the Grey
Sheet ~ many used it as their plan of eating ... and many lost weight.
There is still wide interest in the Grey Sheet.
Many of our members wanted more information about the Grey Sheet,
especially newcomers who had heard about it but wanted to know
more. To accommodate this need, Grey Sheet ODAT was created.
The mission of this loop is to provide a forum for members to ask
questions and learn more about the Grey Sheet. This loop with its
200 members will serve as a springboard to a new loop which you
will be hearing more about In the weeks to come. The new loop
will be for those who have made the decision to commit to a new
way of life by working the Twelve Steps, using the Grey Sheet as
their plan of eating and working on their spiritual, emotional and
physical recovery one day at a time. The Grey Sheet nor any
serious Twelve Step recovery program should not be worked alone.
A sponsor is vital.
The Recovery Group does not have an opinion of the Grey Sheet or any
organization with that name. We do have an opinion, however, on
making available to our members a safe forum for information, to meet
others to discuss the serious matter of our disease and to work a
recovery program even if that program includes a special focus.
The use of a food plan is not a requirement for membership in OA
or in The Recovery Group. Tradition three states: "The only
requirement for membership is a desire to stop eating compulsively."
And please notice that the word "desire" is a key word in that
statement.
In May of 1997, Overeaters Anonymous issued a policy statement on
food plans which read:
"The OA 1997 World Service Business Conference, after careful
consideration, believes that, although many individual OA members
choose to follow a plan of eating for their personal plan of recovery,
offering food plans at OA meetings is a violation of Tradition Ten.
While each OA member is free to choose a personal plan of eating
to achieve abstinence, OA as a whole cannot print, endorse or
distribute food plan information to members. Nutrition is a most
controversial outside issue; the hiring of professionals to produce
food plans for use at meetings also violates the Eighth Tradition,
as we need always remain non-professional. Groups endorsing
any food plans by distributing them at their meetings affect OA as
a whole. We ask all groups, intergroups and regions of OA to
adhere to the above policy statement and discontinue the use
of food plan information at meetings. We ought best concern
ourselves with our suggested program of recovery - the Twelve Steps."
Before this time there was the Grey Sheet and Dignity of Choice.
If you would like to read about the evolvement of food plans for OA,
there is quite a good one at the following URL:
http://www.oasandiego.org/foodplan.htm
Grief ODAT
You don't have to experience the loss of a life to know grief. Just
watching a loved one die can cause us to grieve while they are
still with us. Other types of grief include the grief of a parent
watching their child pack and leave home to go to college or
move in with a partner; a teenager dealing with the divorce of
his or her parents, left wondering if some how he/she is to blame
for this separation; the pain from the loss of a beloved pet; or
even the turmoil of losing one's job.
Whatever your loss, we offer a haven, a safe environment, for
you to relive those moments you once shared, and in sharing,
know that through your memories, the strength and love you
once felt is still there in you heart and can be healed. Please
know that grief is not forever, but love is. And here at Grief and
Recovery we will love you until you feel warm and secure again."
Whatever your loss, we offer a haven, a safe environment, for you
to relive those moments you once shared, and in sharing, know
that through your memories, the strength and love you once felt
is still there in you heart and can be healed. Please know that
grief is not forever, but love is. And here at Grief and Recovery
we will love you until you feel warm and secure again".
To read more, please visit our webpage:
http://recovery.hiwaay.net/special/grief.html.
To join, please send a blank email to
GriefODAT-subscribe-request@lists.therecoverygroup.org.
(As adapted for Teens and Kids)
Step 2: We came to believe that there is a Power around that will
help us to think straight and see the truth.
Step 3: We decided that we would see if we could find out more about
this Power and slowly let it help us. We call this Power `God' but
it doesn't have to be a `God' found in a church or something. It can
be anything I want it to be, so long as I understand what it is
that's OK.
Step 4: With the help of someone else called a `sponsor' or OA
friend (so that we weren't afraid), we had a look at our lives and all
the problems we have and what might cause them. We also looked at
our good points. We called this an inventory.
Step 5: We had a little time with our Power called God and went
through what we had found in Step 4, and doing this we saw it too and
shared it with someone.
Step 6: We were ready to have the Power called God remove anything
that makes us feel bad about ourselves.
Step 7: We asked him to remove them.
Step 8: We made a list of anyone we had hurt and became willing to
say sorry and especially to change how we treat other people.
Step 9: We said sorry and began to change a little bit. We didn't
rush around saying sorry though if it meant we might hurt someone.
Step 10: Every day we kept on looking to see if any of our old
problems were still happening and if they were, we did something
straight away.
Step 11: We carried on talking (or praying) to our Power called God
and spent some quiet time to see if we can work out or hear what it
is our Power wants for us to do.
Step 12: Now that we feel a whole lot better, we tried to help someone
else and show them how we got better. We tried to become better
people.
[ Editor's note: To join TeensODAT, send an empty email to:
TeensODAT-subscribe-request@lists.therecoverygroup.org
]
~ A LOOP CONCERN ~
[ Editor's Note: The following is Mari's response to my question of
her, asking what the difference is between COKids and Kids and
Discovery, and for the name of someone closely associated with
each group, so I could get some personal,"connected" descriptions
of these two loops. Here is her response; perhaps it will "speak"
to someone.... ]
" 'Teens' is very different from 'CoKids' and 'Kids and Discovery'.
They should be autonomous.
COKids (a loop for parents, teachers and friends of children
with eating disorders) and Kids and Discovery (a loop for
children who suffer from compulsive eating) are sad parts of
The Recovery Group. You see, no one cares about these
loops to help make them viable. A few have tried but gave up,
and God bless them for trying. Our vision has not yet
been realized and it has been suggested that we close those
loops; but we will never do that. After this many years, there
should be hundreds of children sitting at their computers writing
to one another about why they want to eat everything in sight.
But they aren't. And there should be hundreds of parents talking
with one another about things to do and not to do to help their
children. So the kids eat and get fatter and fatter, and all
that awaits them in the future is an adult life of compulsive eating.
Or maybe not even reach adulthood and be like the 13 year-old
girl who came home from school one day and killed herself
because she had been taunted that afternoon on the playgound
by her friends who chanted "Fatty, fatty two by four ...
can't get in the kitchen door."
....
There are no coordinators for either loop. There are no Trusted
Servants who work on behalf of the children or their parents.
So I can't give you any names.
@-}-}-}--------
Love,
Mari "
~ THE PROMISES ~
In this column we want to bring you shares from Recovery Meditations,
Odyssey, Danny's Letters To God, Journey to Recovery, Reflections,
The Promises and many others. This month we will take you to
another series: "The Promises".
In this issue of Serendipity we give you Dawn's own introduction, and
her thoughts about the First Promise: "We are going to know a new
freedom and a new happiness." A complete list of the promises
follows her thoughts.
"Dear Loopbuds,
I have been asked to write a series on the Promises as set forth in
the Big Book. They are listed on page 83. They begin to come
true after taking the seventh step - giving away your inventory and
asking your Higher Power to rid you of your personal defects of
character. A lot of OA's seem to fear steps 4 - 7. They CAN
sound a little intimidating, I know. It involves taking a completely
honest look at yourself, especially the wrongs you have done in
the past - never a very comfortable thing for anybody. However,
the miracle of the promises come immediately after completion
of steps 4 - 7.
When I first did step 7, I felt elated afterward at the sudden change
in the burdens I had been carrying around with me for so long.
There was so much fear, resentment, false pride, self depreciation,
shame and other defects that I had always spent so much energy
covering up, even to myself, let alone others. By admitting them
to another human being, I robbed them of their power. Hidden secrets
can be amazingly powerful. When the promises began to happen in
my life, I could hardly believe it! I had such a sense of freedom as
I had never felt before in my life. Those horrible secrets were out -
and you know what? They really weren't all that horrible. In my
mind I had blown them all out of proportion. My sponsor listened
to all off it and assured me that she had heard most of the same things
before, and that they could be released.
PROMISE ONE:
My life has changed drastically since these promises began to come
true for me. I am no longer as afraid of other people. I think that people
were my greatest fear. I was so afraid that they could all see right
through me and see all those character defects, which none of them
possessed. I somehow thought that I was the only one in the world
who had a problem with food. That I was the only one in the world
who could mess things up as badly as I seemed to be able to do.
That I really didn't deserve to be happy. I now know that others
have many of the same thoughts and problems that I have had, and,
most importantly, that I deserve to be happy and to be respected.
I have as much personal worth as anyone else and on the other
side of the coin - others deserve my love and respect even when
they don't do things my way.
Love,
Dawn"
THE PROMISES (AABB, P. 83)
We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.
We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.
We will comprehend the word serenity.
And we will know peace.
No matter how far down the scale we have gone,
we will see how our experience can benefit others.
That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear.
We will lose interest in selfish things and gain insight in our fellows.
Self-seeking will slip away.
Our whole attitude and outlook will change.
Fear of people and economic insecurity will leave us.
We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to
baffle us.
We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we
could not do for ourselves.
~ FROM THE LITERATURE ~
Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
Each of our loops and meetings should be autonomous except in
matters affecting other groups or the Overeaters Online Recovery
Group as a whole.
"When we look back, we realize that the things which came to us when
we put ourselves in God's hands were better than anything we could
have planned. Follow the dictates of a Higher Power and you will
presently live in a new and wonderful world, no matter what your
present circumstance."
Alcoholics Anonymous Big Book - page 100
~ RECOVERY MEDITATIONS ~
~
April Meditations Calendar ~
(http://www.therecoverygroup.org/meditations/april.html)
Online Meetings Update
Telephone 505-891-2664
~~ The Serenity Prayer ~~
What we could never do alone ~
One day at a time, ~ Disclaimer
Volume 5 Issue 4 ©
Copyright 2003 THE RECOVERY GROUP All rights reserved.
~ THE RECOVERY GROUP MEETINGS ~
Our Recovery Group meetings are the BEST. Recovery is shared. The
members are accepting, loving and supportive.
Meetings are held each day at 9:30 PM Eastern time in #Recovery.
We have a FANTASTIC slate of dedicated meeting leaders:
The Meetings webpages have been updated, and (hopefully) simplified.
You are invited to go to the Recovery Group
website at www.therecoverygroup.org. Click on
the "Recovery Meetings" icon and
check out the new pages. OR go directly to the meeting webpage at
http://therecoverygroup.org/meetings/index.html
If you are interested in being a meeting leader in #Recovery, or if you have any
questions or problems relating to Recovery Group meetings, please
write MtgAdm@lists.TheRecoveryGroup.org
For AOL members, here is the direct link to #Recovery:
#Recovery on StarChat.Network
#Recovery is the meeting room for Recovery Group. To get to #Recovery, go to:
http://www.starchat.net/recovery
You can find other helpful information, including on-line meeting
protocols at:
http://recovery.hiwaay.net/support/meetings.html
Again, if you have any further questions or we can help you in any way,
please write
MtgAdm@lists.TheRecoveryGroup.org.
~ OVEREATERS ANONYMOUS CONTACTS ~
World Service Office (WSO)
6075 Zenith Ct. NE
PO Box 44020
Rio Rancho, NM 87124
USA
Fax: 505-891-4320
http://www.overeatersanonymous.org/index.htm
E-Mail Address ~
info@overeatersanonymous.org
"I put my hand in yours ...
and together we can do what we could never do alone."
~ Rozanne, OA CoFounder ~
Newsletter Editor ~
SerendipityNewsletter@yahoo.com ~ Marty
Newsletter Subscriptions ~
SerendipityNewsletter@yahoo.com
Letters to the Editor ~
SerendipityNewsletter@yahoo.com
Sponsor Coordinator ~
sponsors@therecoverygroup.org
Telephone Angel Directory ~ mttabi@yahoo.com ~ Tabi
Recovery Meeting Coordinator ~ MtgAdm@lists.TheRecoveryGroup.org
Technical Support ~ RecoveryTech@mail.com
TRG Webmaster ~ Mari
Recovery Group Administrators ~ TRGAdm@TheRecoveryGroup.org
Recovery Group Founder ~ Mari
Is the realization that recovery begins when we find one another."
Grant us the SERENITY to accept the things we cannot change;
The COURAGE to change the things we can;
And the WISDOM to know the difference.
We can do together.
One step at a time.
The Recovery Group and our newsletter has as its mission and purpose that of carrying
the message of recovery to those who suffer from the disease of compulsive eating.
We are an anonymous organization and follow the 12 Steps and 12 Traditions of
Overeaters Anonymous; however, we are not affiliated with that group. Your articles,
announcements and information are welcome. All opinions in this newsletter represent
only the opinions of the writers and not necessarily that of The Recovery Group or OA,
Inc.