Reflections on the Journey


Dear Friends in Recovery,

I am Leeanne, I live in Israel, and I am a compulsive overeater in recovery. Like many people, I have at different stages of my life had a hard time in giving up control and accepting that I never was the one in control anyway.

Admitting powerlessness and recognizing a power higher than oneself are two steps that might be indescribably difficult for some people. For us, being COEs as we are, trying to retain control -of ourselves, of others-is both an unconscious and a supreme effort. We spend so many hours of a day, in fact, so many years of our lives, trying to be in control or regretting our inability to take control.

" 'This is it. This is my life,' he says.
'I will tell you something about the Sahara,' he finally says.
'This desert is very simple to survive in.
You must only admit there is something on Earth larger than you…
the wind… the dryness… the distance… the Sahara.
You accept that, and everything is fine.
The desert will provide… If you do not, the desert will break you.
Admit your weakness to the Sahara's face, and all is fine.' "

National Geographic, March 1999, "Heart of the Sahara"

For the nomads of the Sahara, admitting powerlessness has become not only a way of life, but literally the only way to remain alive. They recognize that to try to take control will lead not to living, but to dying.

With the evidence of the desert's power so graphically, so physically clear to them, the Bedouins have no problem in admitting powerlessness over a power greater than themselves. They are not offended by the thought; they feel no agony over "losing control." They simply recognize that the power was never theirs to retain nor to relinquish. They waste no time in philosophizing; it's just a fact of life.

Because of this disease, or because of our life experiences, our basic, instinctive human awareness of a Higher Power has been distorted. We have lost contact with a basic truth:

There is a Higher Power, and it is not us (nor is it Food).

Thank you, Higher Power of mine, for reminding me that I can learn the most basic of truths from the nomadic people of the desert: Admitting I am powerless, and that a power higher than myself exists, will keep me alive.

Reflecting ... Learning ... Living

Love in recovery,

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