The Recovery Group

Question Thirteen

Dear Web Visitors and Loop Friends,

My name is Shana and I am a compulsive overeater. I am grateful to have found the OA program of recovery and part of my program is sharing it with others.

Please note that previous questions are already up on the web site and can be found at


A.) Discuss and reflect on the following idea as it manifests in your life: "The deception of others is nearly always rooted in the deception of ourselves."

Surely, each of us has been in a situation where we knew that we had deceived someone; whether for our greater gain, or to save face, or to hide something about ourselves from another. I'm sure you can think of even more instances where this has taken place in your own life.

I should say at this point that over time I have interpreted this question in different ways. But, for now, I see the meaning as this: When I have felt that by deceiving someone in any of the above modes, and thensome, I was only deceiving myself. In deceiving myself, I was missing out on what could have been the true outcome; the Higher Power outcome that would, and could, inevitably bring me better days, higher self-esteem, and real truth. The only person, therefore, who I truly deceived was myself. The other person, or people, in the situation could hardly care less what I was doing; in another five minutes they would hardly remember what had happened. In reality, I was the loser...not the sly winner that I might have thought I would be.

I also see manipulation looming large in the foreground of this complex web. I am a master at manipulation; at deception; at stringing words together like a beautiful pearl necklace. Yes, I've gotten through some pretty tight situations blameless, thinking how "lucky" I was to pass through a bad situation. But, in essence, what did I achieve? I achieved the putting off of owning my truth, my faults, and my personal power.

As I said, I have perceived this question very differently at other times in my recovery. Such as, seeing the deception that I see in others as a mirror of my own deception glaring back at me and not liking it. I think this is true, as well, and I also keep this point in mind as I go thru my day.

I would just love to hear how others see this question and hear some ESH from you and you and you...

Love in recovery,





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