It was an interesting day today. Right now I'm feeling sore and tired, but can't get to sleep. Answered emails from my sponsees, and taking care of some last minute changes to work related things.
On my walk this morning I came across some "treasures" that people had put out for garbage pickup today. A couple of wooden doors that would make good shelves or desks and wishing not to miss the opportunity I decided to carry one back home with me instead of chancing that it wouldn't be there when I could drive back for them, so, I carried one of the doors a half mile back to my house this morning... while doing that, another person saw me and I, smiling, said "Hi, I had found some treasures today"... she asked me if I wanted a TV that she had had on the curb for 2 weeks and no one had taken, said it worked perfectly but wasn't cable ready and that's why they were getting rid of it. I said I'd be back for it and thanked her.
So, got back home, got in the car and went to get the other door and my daughter saw a couple of things she thought her mom would like, so we had a full car, went home to unload, then went to get the TV... I told my daughter of a friend who upon returning to the US from 11 years in Argentina, had furnished a 3 bedroom home (they had 5 kids) by going around to the nicer neighborhoods and picking up these "treasures", I was truly in awe of this feat. so my daughter asked if we could go looking.. so we did. On one curb I saw an older computer with monitor, and thinking of a friend who is in need of a computer I picked it up figuring at the very least I would be able to salvage parts from it... well, got it home, plugged it in, and it booted up perfectly.. monitor looked good.. it's an older 486 but it worked great, so cleared the drive and installed windows 95 and now have a working computer... There are still many options for it, and it will go to someone.
I led my f2f meeting tonight, talked about the 3-legged stool, and the importance of balance, that the first 10 years in this program I was mostly concerned with emotional and spiritual issues largely because they were easier, (not easy, easier) than dealing with the physical aspects of this disease. Dealing with the physical meant getting serious and honest about my food. I realized that not working on all three areas kept me off balance and limited my growth in all areas, as the shortest leg limited how high I could get the other two. They are all related and in order to get that seat on the stool up as high as I need it, I have to work on all things, not just the easier ones. The last year, I have brought those legs more closely in to balance and it has in turn elevated all aspects of my recovery.
I am so grateful to have been given this insight and recognition of the importance of taking care of me so that I may better serve others, those in program and those that simply interact with me on a daily basis in my work and personal life.
As I am becoming able to do more physically, I see a direct reflection in the other aspects of my life, with each helping to sustain the others instead of taking away from them. As my spirituality grows, I find myself able to handle more and more emotional issues without seeking solace in food to numb me out to them. As the physical aspects are enhanced I find it affects my emotional outlook and ability to deal with the normal everyday stresses that used to send me seeking the oblivion of a food induced coma. My emotions are alive and able to withstand the onslaught of selfish desires and my own self-centeredness, I become more connected and grateful to my HP for His/Her/It's part in my life and giving me the moral guidance and conviction that doing the "right thing" has value, to me and to others.
Balance seems to be uppermost in my mind tonight. I am grateful to this program and to the people who I've met because of it.
love and hugs,
Table of Contents