The Recovery Group

A Personal Recovery


Hi all,

A great story about how we don't recognize what is good. Always finding the positive in every situation, even when it's not apparent right away, believing it to be.

enjoy and ponder,


This Is Good

The story is told of a king in Africa who had a close friend with whom he grew up. The friend had a habit of looking at every situation that ever occurred in his life (positive or negative) and remarking, "This is good!"

One day the king and his friend were out on a hunting expedition. The friend would load and prepare the guns for the king. The friend had apparently done something wrong in preparing one of the guns, for after taking the gun from his friend, the king fired it and his thumb was blown off. Examining the situation, the friend remarked as usual, "This is good!"

To which the king replied, "No, this is not good!" and proceeded to send his friend to jail.

About a year later, the king was hunting in an area that he should have known to stay clear of. Cannibals captured him and took him to their village. They tied his hands, stacked some wood, set up a stake and bound him to the stake.

As they came near to set fire to the wood, they noticed that the king was missing a thumb. Being superstitious, they never ate anyone who was less than whole. So untying the king, they sent him on his way.

As he returned home, he was reminded of the event that had taken his thumb and felt remorse for his treatment of his friend. He went immediately to the jail to speak with his friend.

"You were right," he said, "it was good that my thumb was blown off." And he proceeded to tell the friend all that had just happened. "And so, I am very sorry for sending you to jail for so long. It was bad for me to do this."

"No," his friend replied, "This is good!"

"What do you mean, 'This is good'?

How could it be good that I sent my friend to jail for a year?"

"If I had not been in jail, I would have been with you."



Dear Journal,

What a week! The weather cooled and so am able to sleep a little later now and still get out for my morning walk, I am grateful for that.

Had some major financial stress, a check written but not entered put us about a thousand bucks in the hole, at least my bank called to let us know instead of just piling on the overdraft charges.... but what was really amazing to me, was that I didn't rage about it, I didn't do the blame thing about it, I remained calm, and accepted that I could do nothing about it except to try to deal with it... no amount of yelling or blaming would make any difference at all in the situation, and so I simply set my thoughts on the solutions available, which were few as we don't have an extra grand laying around... and before too long a solution presented itself, a family member bailed us out. I don't know how we are going to pay them back, but we will, something will come along to provide us a way, so that immediate crisis is past, and we are still considering options to get this situation resolved. Looks like we might be having a yard sale. ;-) and amazingly some new work presented itself which will help toward reducing this new debt.. so HP is looking out for us, old clients have also contacted me with more work, so I watch these events in amazement being once more shown that HP IS out there and when I am receptive good things come my way.

I continue to have some trouble with my feet, cracking which is painful, but have not let it continue to keep me from walking, I just wrap it up and walk anyway... it's tolerable and I'm hopeful it will clear itself up. I really need some new shoes, but have kept putting it off because of finances. Maybe HP will help me out in this regard also. ;-) I have a hard foot to get shoes for, so the process of hunting and trying on is tedious at best, in the past I would just special order them but the ebb and flow of finances has made that not an option for right now, so I will carry on and wait it out. I know it will swing the other way sooner or later.

The continued stresses involved with raising my child were peaking this week, but in that arena too, I have found my emotions more steady, my acceptance of these tests less personal, and am more content with myself for having to enforce consequences without pointing the finger and the endless explanations as to the benefits of more acceptable behaviors.

My daughter had lost her privilege of using the computer for a week, and when I caught her sneaking on to check her email, instead of railing at her and being upset and angry, I just picked my moment, (after checking her school work - something which I could give her some positive feedback on) and then asked her, what it meant to be "grounded from the computer", and she answered correctly so I knew she did understand that she wasn't to be on the computer, and then calmly asked her, "then why do you think it's okay for you not to follow through on that and going on it anyway?"... The moment of terror in her eyes was all too familiar.. I could see the thoughts, "Nailed! How did he find out? What did I do that gave me away?". :-) Having been there so many times in my own youth, it was easy to recognize. After it was painfully apparent that I had indeed caught her, she asked how I did it? I told her I wasn't going to tell her so she couldn't circumvent it next time... so it became a game to her to figure out how she had gotten caught, which of course she did figure out, she's a smart kid, but I told her I had about 40 years practice on her, and told her that failing to follow the rules about staying off the computer was going to cost her an additional 3 days, and with a calm, loving voice said, "Don't do it again."... so, we'll see what happens. I'm sure she was expecting me to rage a little but as with the other situations this week, I remained calm. Thank you God.

Yesterday I had a very busy day, I went to a clients to do some computer work, installing new components to a computer system, and of course it wasn't as smooth as it could have been but I did eventually get it all working properly, stopped by a friends house while I was out to help with another computer related challenge, and when leaving her house, my daughter said, "you know we missed lunch?" and sure enough we were 2 hours late and though I was aware of feeling just a bit "funny... empty.. something..." until she said it I hadn't thought of it at all... well, we had one more stop to make at the health food store for some supplies and then home, so by the time I got the meal fixed I was about 3 hours behind my normal schedule.. so simply pushed back the rest of the day and tomorrow (later this morning) will be back to normal.

Forgetting meals doesn't happen often, but each time I am amazed that my mind has disengaged enough from the food now for it to occur on occasion, what a miracle!

The calmness that I feel today, the serenity that is mine now is a real gift and I cherish it. As I continue my step work, I am finding it more and more calming and have reached step 8, one which I was not looking forward to but now that I am here, I feel ready to move on now. I feel positive about doing it instead of filled with trepidation as I was when first starting this journey. Learning to stay focused on the present has been key, not worrying about what will happen tomorrow, but only what I have in front of me today has been a real blessing for me.

I have come a far piece, and I know I still have a long ways to go, but one day at a time I WILL keep moving forward.

A line from a prayer I say everyday comes to mind now, "Thy name is my healing Oh My God, and remembrance of Thee is my remedy...". The spiritual basis of this program IS the healing for me, when I am in a good place with my Higher Power, my life is so much better, calmer, serene.

Life is Good!

Stay Strong!

love and hugs,

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