Yet we finally did make choices that brought about our
recovery. We came to believe that alone we were
powerless over [food]. This was surely a choice, and
a most difficult one. We came to believe that a
Higher Power could restore us to sanity when we became
willing to practice [program's] twelve steps. In
short, we chose to 'become willing,' and no better
choice did we ever make."
from "As Bill Sees It"
I floundered in program for a good while. I was not willing to do the Fourth Step; it scared me. Then I did it, and recovery continued.
I floundered in program again. I was not willing to do the extra work I knew I would have to do to stay in the program. I was scared of being a sponsor, so I left. The disease gradually took me over.
I came back to program. This time I was willing. No longer did the phrase "going to any lengths" scare me. I knew I needed to do whatever it took. The disease had beaten me down to where I had no choice if I wanted to recover. I took the steps ... all the steps. I became a sponsor. I also discovered that abstinence is only the beginning of recovery - that life is joyful and free. It all began with willingness on my part. I didn't have the power to change my life, but my Higher Power was able to change it once I became willing to follow the Twelve Steps to the best of my ability.
One Day at a Time . . .
I will ask for and receive the willingness to work this program.
~ Julie ~
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