
Trial and Error
“Anything worth doing at all is worth
doing poorly.”
Imagine my shock the first time I heard this statement, which happened to be
in a Twelve Step (OA) meeting. I had been reared in an environment in which
anything worth doing at all was worth doing well. In fact, in my world this
concept was practiced as if it had religious authority. It was perfectionism
given flesh and bones.
~ Pete M.
Joachim de Posada
Perhaps the idea that “anything worth doing at all is worth doing well”
worked for some folks. For me, it was paralyzing. There were many things
that I needed to do that I simply could not do well. These included things
like trimming the hedge, praying, and making good investment choices. So how
did my sick, obsessive-compulsive self respond? Predictably, of course: I
just didn't do those things I felt I couldn’t do well. I was rarely willing
to take the chance of acting and being wrong, so I did not act at all. Soon
I was living a very restricted life -- a life hemmed in by the fear of
messing up. I needed to be perfect or just not be at all.
Then I found the program. There I learned that I am human and that making
mistakes is part of being human. I even learned that making mistakes is a
good thing, because in doing so I have acted. This is a program of action. I
learn by acting and by making mistakes. How liberating! How freeing. I can't
tell you how much my constricted, warped life began to open up. I acted and
did things poorly, and people responded warmly and in a helpful manner. I
took their advice and I joined the human race. I now consider this simple
concept -- act, even if it means doing a thing poorly -- as one of the
greatest gifts of the program. My life is really my life now. Perfectionism
occasionally rears its ugly head, but when it does, I simply remember where
I came from and then I go ahead and make a mistake and set myself free
again.
One day at a time...
Today I will do what I need to do, and I
will do it as well as I can. When I make a mistake I will not conclude that
I am a mistake. I will accept that I am human and I will ask for help.
Perfection has never been a goal of this program and it is not a goal for my
life.
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