“Most folks are as happy
as they make up their minds to be.”
More than seven years ago I weighed over 320 pounds and was living the painful life of a compulsive eater. Nothing I tried helped me to make lasting changes … until I began my recovery program. This healing process included Twelve Step recovery, therapy, and changing my life completely. I ended a long-term relationship and moved 2,300 miles away from all of my family and friends. I had no idea as to the extent of this journey I was beginning.
I've learned how ignorant I can be ~ and how wise I am. I’ve learned that humility is not humiliation ~ it is found by maintaining a willingness to learn. I've been taught how to walk through my fears. I've been shown that my HP and God are in all things ~ and that Spirit follows and supports me with each and every step I take. Some of those steps go forwards, some backwards … yet with each there is progress.
I've never forgotten the pain. Some days it's very severe because I don't have the food to numb it or to hide behind. Thanks to my program, I can always see hope and joy all around me now, even in the midst of pain.
I now weigh 220 pounds. Somehow I've lost 100 pounds of my old self and am beginning to see the new me. The new me is still losing weight. The new me is also incredibly beautiful, deserving, loving, and worthy ... all things I thought I wasn't. I'm slowly, gently, learning that with each day I live well ... I AM WELL! I am only as happy as I am choosing to be.
One Day at a Time . . .
I pray for complete surrender.
I ask for patience, abstinence and peace.
I reflect on where I've come from,
and remember to embrace the deepest gratitude
for where I am now. Today I am well.
~ Melanie S.
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