~ Laughter ~
Laughter can be more satisfying than honor;
more precious than money;
more heart-cleansing than prayer.
For as long as I can remember I've always been a serious person. I can't remember ever doing something just for fun or to have a laugh. There always had to be a purpose for what I did in my life, or else it was of no value. As for being able to laugh at myself, that wasn't even in my frame of reference. I was so super-sensitive that I'd get upset if someone made fun of me, as it would always make me feel "less than" or stupid.
So when I came into the doors of my first Twelve Step meeting, I was amazed that, even though all the people I met had problems around food, they were still able to look at their mistakes and realize that that didn't make them a bad person. But even more heartwarming was the fact that I heard laughter in those rooms. Before, I'd always thought that when someone laughed at what I said, they were laughing at me, and that would reinforce my feelings of inadequacy.
The lessons I'm learning here are not easy ones and there are still times when my old behaviors of being overly sensitive creep in, but I know that recovery is a process, and as I grow in the program, it will get better.
One day at a time ...
As I practice the program and work the steps, I am becoming more able to laugh at myself and not always look at the dark side of life. What a gift it has been to start enjoying life!
~ Sharon ~
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