~ FORGIVENESS ~
Forgiveness for ourselves
is the journey from guilt
over what we have done or not done
to the celebration of what we have become.
Dr. Joan Borysenko
Steps 8 and 9 are very important to our recovery from compulsive eating. The 8th Step says that we need to make a list of those people we have harmed because of our disease, and to be willing to make amends to them.
The 9th Step says that we need to make direct amends to those people, if possible.
I would never condemn a sick person for being sick, yet I was ready to level blame at myself for being a compulsive overeater. I was mentally cruel to myself.
I abused my physical body with food and excess weight. While working Step 8, I needed to realize that I didnít hurt just my family or friends when I was deep in my disease. I had to understand that I hurt myself as well. I said and did things that Iím not proud of because I didnít know that I had a disease of compulsion. I had to place myself at the top of my amends list.
Some of the ways I can work Step 9 include remembering that I am a good person who just happens to be sick with a potentially fatal disease of compulsion. If I can remember that I am sick, then I wonít add more pain to what the disease already heaps on me. I can remember that a slip in abstinence is just that...a slip. It doesnít reflect on my worth as a human being. I can be gentle with myself whenever times are rough. I can lean more on my Higher Power, so that I donít have to depend upon my own unsteady willpower. I can forgive myself for the past pain Iíve caused myself and resolve not to hurt myself any more.
One Day at a Time . . .
I give myself the gift of forgiveness and amends.
~ Jeff ~
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