DANNY'S LETTERS TO GOD
ONION AND LIMBURGER
Floyd, schmoyd, who cares. Now the flood thing with Noah, that was good or bad depending on whether or not you made it on the boat. It's a good thing that folks take the storm seriously, but the media make it tedious with their constant ballyhoo. I think Bill and Hillary did this to cover up another scandal. The hurricane will pass, but the WEDDING is still out there blowing around. The woman You sent to run my life gives me information in small doses to lighten the blow. Last night she informs that both Aunts Ethel and Mae are desending upon my tiny home, and I the rightful ruler had better shut up or be put in irons. WHY God do You do this to me?
On the other hand, the more there are of them to cluck away, the more they will leave me alone. I still have my secret weapon of onion and limburger cheese sandwiches. The after effects of one of those would keep Dracula in his coffin. Life is not so complicated when it is reduced to bathroom humor, which You chose to give men from birth to the grave. YEA God!!! As the RIGHTFUL RULER I have decided to say no more about this WEDDING until after it is over and I have more to complain about. Please keep all of my family and friends, fellow travelers, and those who are on my s--t list in Your loving hands. Perhaps one of Your small miracles for Mimi as she struggles so hard. It wouldn't hurt. Thanks for all of the people You put in my life, especially the woman who makes it work. I fully understand that without her I'd be in the street. The power to carry out Your will and the wisdom to know it are requested.