MY LIFE


Danny's Letters to God
Being Sick


Dear God,

Your not so well child slept for over nine hours and while the cough persists in nagging its way into today, the listless feeling has gone, thanks. So now I'm down to a nasty headache, the cough and a runny nose as the fever has also broken. The woman you sent to run my life is in N.Y.C. at yet another new company take over and the money is nice but having her here would have made being sick a lot easier. Yes, I am whining. So what!

As I write to You this a.m. the hot coffee is soothing my throat, the sound on my tv is off as I listen to a redone recording by Enrico Carouso, more of Your many gifts to me .As I sit here, the coughing becomes harsher and more frequent so after this and before I read the mail I will call my doctor. See, now the first thing I think of is how much will my co-pay be and what will the prescriptions cost. That is my stinking thinking creeping in as we know I would gladly pay 100 times as much for one of the babies if needed. Why, my God, do I still at times think I'm not worth the time, energy or money to take care of me.

Time to refill the old java mug. BRB. The woman just called from the new company raising hell because I did not answer the phone early this morning and, although I protested and denied, she insists the phone was shut off. Well maybe ... but only in the bedroom and my hearing isn't what it used to be. One would think I was an axe murderer the way she carried on. I told her to stop yelling at me as I am, after all, sick. "NOT AS SICK AS YOUR GOING TO BE" was her not so nice response. I'm going to hide. The hot coffee feels so good on my throat, thanks.

As my day slowly unfolds and I start to feel better allow me the privilege of being or doing some service for the fellowship or one of its members. One of its members has a nice sound to it as I feel and know I am one of the members. I'm not alone, watching as the others enjoy the feeling of belonging. I'm not the fat teenager watching as my peers pair off holding hands and giggling with private words. I wonder if the person who wrote there are no dues or fees considered the payment of ALONE. ALL ALONE.

Enough out of me. I need to take care of this large round body so You take care of my family, friends, fellow loopies, those who think they are alone and the people I just don't like.




And Why Not?
Danny
The Recovery Group





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