DAY FIFTY THREE ~ MEETING FIFTY THREE
GROWTH
The meeting today had a topic from For Today, page 180. It said:
"Growth is dependent on courage."
Lately, I really need the courage and I know that from this I will grow. Everyone keeps telling me that things will get easier. I will be able to move on and to deal with the emotions cropping up now. Since I have been abstinent, clearly abstinent, for a couple weeks (no longer lying to myself about it) and have been working on step Four and going to counseling some serious emotions are starting to come out of me. I am in turmoil about my marriage and myself.
When I was eating, I was dulling the emotions with food. I didn't require courage to deal with anything. Now, I need courage just to get up in the morning and face my actions and myself. I don't like me very much right now and it takes incredible courage for me to not pick up the first bite of a binge. It takes courage for me to go to meetings and talk about these things each day and it takes courage for me to admit my mistakes to myself.
Until tomorrow ~
I'm Kim
© Copyright 2003 THE ODAT GROUP All rights reserved
