DAY FOUR ~ MEETING FIVE
ACCEPTANCE
My meeting this morning had a topic from the Big Book, page 452. It said:
"I must keep my magic magnifying mind ON my acceptance and OFF my expectations for my serenity is directly proportional to my level of acceptance."
Acceptance was hard for me around Mother's Day this year. I just knew that my husband was going to want to spend it with his Mom. And why not? She is his Mother. I am aggravated and I know I am being somewhat selfish. My mother and I don’t speak due to all of our past issues and he knew that Mother's Day was hard for me this year. I miss my Mom. I want my Mom. I do not want my Mother-in-law. Every time I am at that house, I get cut down and treated badly. She doesn’t make it obvious, of course. It’s all hidden in snide comments. So, I made excuses not to go. One was valid and the others just weren’t at all. I wanted to be with my husband and children on Mother’s Day. I should have been with them, not alone, as I was for most of the day. Yes, I am feeling sorry for myself. Of course I am. It’s what I do.
Once again, my expectations of my husband knowing that I wouldn’t want to spend the day with his Mom were not met. I also didn’t express my feelings on the issue until it was too late to back out. So, yes, this is partly my fault, but I still sit here and think that he should have known that I wouldn’t want to be there of all places. I guess I need to accept my responsibility in all of this. The meeting today has inspired me to re-examine my expectations of people.
Until tomorrow ~
I'm Kim
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