DAY FORTY SIX~ MEETING FORTY SIX
DENIAL
When I think of denial, I tend to think of my mother and how much in denial she is (of the abuse I suffered). This affects me in such a way that I honestly believe I started compensating for my lack of love and support as a child by overeating. My husband and I were just discussing this tonight when we were talking about doing a healthier food plan for the whole household (including kids…this should be fun!)
I don't want to have my eyes closed to anything any more. I want to know exactly what it is that is going on in my life and in other's lives around me. I don't want things sugar-coated by others or by my "denial instinct," as I call it. I know that it seems to be a self-preservation type thing… that if I deny something happened, I then don't have to deal with it and the emotions that may come with it. This includes my COE. I can deny it no longer and I no longer want to.
Until tomorrow ~
I'm Kim
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